Just you, all alone?

Sometimes there’s just nothing left to say. Not on social media, not anywhere. Sometimes it gets too obvious that none of it’s real, that it’s all just rehearsed, contrived, or redundantly reactive. A little heart here, a thumbs up here…again and again. And nothing different is being said…or done really. It’s just loop after loop, day after day. Sometimes the picture is clear, and it’s terrifying. 

We will all be dead soon. It doesn’t seem like there’s much to do on planet earth. 

I have this recurring dream lately of my father who is a corpse following me everywhere I go, just like a shadow.

He doesn’t want anything, he just follows me. This dream has replaced my recurring and disturbing dreams about BD night after night…year after year. 

There is a shadow with a face living inside us all and it’s no joke. It is the crux of yoga, to integrate our projections. But to find out where we’re not seeing takes a lot of letting go. Which none of us want to do even though we feel and claim that we do want to see, want to know- our darkness. 

Then we speak of collective darkness and where does any of this end….

Sometimes there’s just nothing left to say, but to stop and to listen. This doesn’t have to be a pretty thing and when it’s close to home, it usually isn’t.

This will require some alone time. We all want to be liked and appreciated and given hearts and prayer hands. But at a certain point, it gets psychotic 

and sad.

Looking outside, reaching outside, even for God – is a mistake that only takes a little profound silence to understand. 

This world and all its groups is insanity and it always has been. If you want to be a yogi, first be a rock. If you want to be a saint, first be unimportant. If you just want to truly be you, first stop caring what others think, say and do.

If you want to be clear, first see that a shadow is following you. 

This life is about you, deep on the inside. What’s on the outside serves as a relief to escape ourselves but can only last so long. 

Then the question becomes – Where are you on the road and what will you do? 

Just you, all alone?

Sharada Devi 

6 thoughts on “Just you, all alone?”

  1. This is amazing- I love that you have articulated what is obvious yet never said with such a sweet perspective- it gave me tears, instantly. Prayer hands, hearts!!!!Om

  2. My shadow
    When I look down
    Is the place my body
    Is blocking Sunlight
    It’s so weird how this
    Works
    Yet, it actually makes Sense
    I walk, and shadow Changes shape
    I don’t change shape
    IT does
    It moves between longer And shorter lengths
    Now — my Inner Shadow
    That’s different
    I think I see It
    Everyday with my Interactions
    With my Peeps
    Because I never seem
    To get THEM
    (Or do I mean US? No I
    Mean THEM)
    To notice
    Me how I want them to
    Notice me
    They always notice
    How THEY want to.
    Well….
    I guess they are alone
    Too
    But I don’t know whether
    They CARE or not. ❤

  3. Just me.
    All alone.
    Solitude. ❤
    No one defines me, Ultimately.
    But my ego allows me to Function.
    Without taking all the
    Credit.

  4. I’m probably writing too much on your blog? If this gets posted, this is it for awhile. Thank you for letting me share what you have wanted me to share, Sharada Devi.

    Anyway.

    It’s….all about…
    Just you.
    Being you.
    You means Me as well as
    You
    As well as any Individual on
    This planet.
    No people-pleasing.
    Just kindness!
    No expectations.
    No being stuck in
    A particular blueprint
    To apply to life.
    No people-hurting.
    Just being truthful!
    Just YOUR being.
    And where that is AT.
    Right NOW.
    THEN as well as NOW.
    Your being
    Is ongoing non-doing.
    Your being is timeless. But thinking about THAT
    Creates TIME.
    All people’s actions
    Yield all possible
    Consequences
    According to the
    Consciousness Initiatied.
    And according to the
    Consciousness
    Receiving.
    And we all Receive and
    Initiate at One Time or
    Another.
    Heart your sadness.
    Heart your gladness.

  5. OM Mani Padme Hum.
    Happy to find you back here…
    It was FOUR years ago TODAY that I was headed up to Mount Shasta for the first retreat.
    I keep coming back home to alone. I lay in bed at night and wonder if I will wake up in the morning. I am more alone now than ever…. I no longer even have my cat…she died in late September last year. My father died too. I left a partner almost three years ago…and I have left numerous friends…or they have left me. Whatever…it really does not matter.
    I find my mother with me all the time…her death was the hardest for me, her death was slow and painful and cut deep within me…her shriveled body barely breathing. The memory is unescapable and haunting. I sometimes cry for her at night…but maybe I am crying for me. Is that me? the one shriveled and gasping? I cry for all that I do not know…
    Everyone running around trying to “get back to normal.” It’s quite comical, really…but at the same time sad and sickening. No one sees what a joke this all is…none of it is real. Seeing my mother in death’s waiting room makes the point.
    Releasing and not taking these things on earth too seriously is where I am. What else is there?
    I am without
    Even that…
    I am not sure of…
    But am okay
    I have made it thus far and am one step closer
    and know there is nothing to do…
    just Be
    without
    point

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