Sometimes there’s just nothing left to say. Not on social media, not anywhere. Sometimes it gets too obvious that none of it’s real, that it’s all just rehearsed, contrived, or redundantly reactive. A little heart here, a thumbs up here…again and again. And nothing different is being said…or done really. It’s just loop after loop, day after day. Sometimes the picture is clear, and it’s terrifying.
We will all be dead soon. It doesn’t seem like there’s much to do on planet earth.
I have this recurring dream lately of my father who is a corpse following me everywhere I go, just like a shadow.
He doesn’t want anything, he just follows me. This dream has replaced my recurring and disturbing dreams about BD night after night…year after year.
There is a shadow with a face living inside us all and it’s no joke. It is the crux of yoga, to integrate our projections. But to find out where we’re not seeing takes a lot of letting go. Which none of us want to do even though we feel and claim that we do want to see, want to know- our darkness.
Then we speak of collective darkness and where does any of this end….
Sometimes there’s just nothing left to say, but to stop and to listen. This doesn’t have to be a pretty thing and when it’s close to home, it usually isn’t.
This will require some alone time. We all want to be liked and appreciated and given hearts and prayer hands. But at a certain point, it gets psychotic
and sad.
Looking outside, reaching outside, even for God – is a mistake that only takes a little profound silence to understand.
This world and all its groups is insanity and it always has been. If you want to be a yogi, first be a rock. If you want to be a saint, first be unimportant. If you just want to truly be you, first stop caring what others think, say and do.
If you want to be clear, first see that a shadow is following you.
This life is about you, deep on the inside. What’s on the outside serves as a relief to escape ourselves but can only last so long.
Then the question becomes – Where are you on the road and what will you do?
Just you, all alone?
Sharada Devi
This is amazing- I love that you have articulated what is obvious yet never said with such a sweet perspective- it gave me tears, instantly. Prayer hands, hearts!!!!Om
My shadow
When I look down
Is the place my body
Is blocking Sunlight
It’s so weird how this
Works
Yet, it actually makes Sense
I walk, and shadow Changes shape
I don’t change shape
IT does
It moves between longer And shorter lengths
Now — my Inner Shadow
That’s different
I think I see It
Everyday with my Interactions
With my Peeps
Because I never seem
To get THEM
(Or do I mean US? No I
Mean THEM)
To notice
Me how I want them to
Notice me
They always notice
How THEY want to.
Well….
I guess they are alone
Too
But I don’t know whether
They CARE or not. ❤
Just me.
All alone.
Solitude. ❤
No one defines me, Ultimately.
But my ego allows me to Function.
Without taking all the
Credit.
I’m probably writing too much on your blog? If this gets posted, this is it for awhile. Thank you for letting me share what you have wanted me to share, Sharada Devi.
Anyway.
It’s….all about…
Just you.
Being you.
You means Me as well as
You
As well as any Individual on
This planet.
No people-pleasing.
Just kindness!
No expectations.
No being stuck in
A particular blueprint
To apply to life.
No people-hurting.
Just being truthful!
Just YOUR being.
And where that is AT.
Right NOW.
THEN as well as NOW.
Your being
Is ongoing non-doing.
Your being is timeless. But thinking about THAT
Creates TIME.
All people’s actions
Yield all possible
Consequences
According to the
Consciousness Initiatied.
And according to the
Consciousness
Receiving.
And we all Receive and
Initiate at One Time or
Another.
Heart your sadness.
Heart your gladness.
“There is no
Try
Only do.” – (Frigging) Yoda
OM Mani Padme Hum.
Happy to find you back here…
It was FOUR years ago TODAY that I was headed up to Mount Shasta for the first retreat.
I keep coming back home to alone. I lay in bed at night and wonder if I will wake up in the morning. I am more alone now than ever…. I no longer even have my cat…she died in late September last year. My father died too. I left a partner almost three years ago…and I have left numerous friends…or they have left me. Whatever…it really does not matter.
I find my mother with me all the time…her death was the hardest for me, her death was slow and painful and cut deep within me…her shriveled body barely breathing. The memory is unescapable and haunting. I sometimes cry for her at night…but maybe I am crying for me. Is that me? the one shriveled and gasping? I cry for all that I do not know…
Everyone running around trying to “get back to normal.” It’s quite comical, really…but at the same time sad and sickening. No one sees what a joke this all is…none of it is real. Seeing my mother in death’s waiting room makes the point.
Releasing and not taking these things on earth too seriously is where I am. What else is there?
I am without
Even that…
I am not sure of…
But am okay
I have made it thus far and am one step closer
and know there is nothing to do…
just Be
without
point
Ok ……I have FELT what you have said…..I don’t have any Thoughts on it. Thanks
An interesting thing
SEEMS TO BE….
Considering
Real and NOT Real
As being Day and Night
COMPLEMENTARY
And
YET: FIGHTING Each Other
Both And
Totally Sane Craziness
There is no Wisdom
Finger Wagging
Trump card
That I have
Anymore than there is
Just saying “No Thanks”
Because you wanna say
“No Thanks” as YOUR
Trump card.
All there is
Is
This Witness
That is You
Happening
No One Is There
Type Thing
While all this
Other stuff
Says:
“THIS is real.”
“NOTICE me.”
Sit Inside
Your self
It’s All There Is
For You.
Om Out. Om Sweet Om.
more clear vision
more rainbow ? aspect
more mirror
less box
more unorthodox
less hoax.
i hear / heard you
in myriad dealt
deeply felt
conversations
too essential
to bequeath.
in, discreetly mentioned
ghost speak, i
let loose
that singular
that
which was
too essentially timely
to keep
asleep.
confined alive
is to be
dead , too soon
Radhe, Radhe, Radhe
Radhe Govinda!!!!
Confined alive IS to be dead!
The Sky
Is always
Here, There, and Everywhere.
Underneath
Joys.
Sorrows.
Look at IT
And IT’S
Not THERE.
?
Ram
We must don the spiritual armor and rise up together to fight evil and darkness. It’s getting serious. God needs recruits. I will be damned if I become a slave to a blood sucking reptilian entity on the physical plane. Rise up.now is the time. Take heed and do not be lax. Do not loath in self pity. Rise up and be the very best version of your self!
We’ll all be dead soon.
Whatever that means Within the Eternity of
Eternities of Eternities Of Eternities.
Did I leave one out?
Eff it.
Bah!!!!!!
Digging this new font
A poem:
Digging
Ya dig?
To the center
The core
Digging
My way out
My way in
Digging
Hi Brett, R U still playing your music? I really enjoyed your sweet energy at the Mount Shasta retreat. I have been playing the Native American Flute (for breathwork and mediation) and a bit of the harmonium. Hope all is well with you.
Marty/Chandra