your shadow who spits me out

🔥I see you as a fire. I always know what you need the second I hear your voice or see your eyes. Where your fire resides is in light and sound. Your fire tells me all about the rage in your flame and where you left the moon, in your voice not in your words, through your eyes not because of them. Nothing is hidden inside of fire, I see you everywhere you think I can’t, and as I watch you slowly dying out with nothing left to eat, I think of what to say, what to feed you, to bring you back to me…my love is in the food…

incantations and the phases of the moon. You are fire and fuel and your breath fans the flames of your creation until you finally become ash, a corpse crumbling on a bed of flames. I want to tell you how to feed god with fire and word, we cook up a storm either way. We can only heal the astral heart and flesh body with the consecrated light of consciousness. I can heal you because I love you and so I will cook you soup. The gods gave us fire for a reason, the sun cooks the fruit with a universal cosmic fire ray, we cook the food that was first cooked by the sun- when we apply fire directed at a result- therefore our cooking of the food is more esoteric, more magical than even the sun because it’s personalized. You should NEVER eat at restaurants because the person cooking is doing unconscious magic on you because you’re eating his or her mind, they don’t know you, they feel nothing for you, likely they’re a frustrated toxic individual like everyone else- and so who cares if it’s organic. Whenever Bhagavan Das eats food cooked by anyone but me he feels terrible for hours- people cook for us and he tries to be nice and eat it- but it’s always the same result no matter how high quality the ingredients or how “nice” the cook. I don’t eat it ever- there’s a lot “cooking” beneath the surface of everyone- and this cooking creates experiences called “reality” it’s too much to deal with energetically and you can just look at the food and know what it’s made of. Everything is energy and that energy has a pattern of velocity that is clear, murky or destructive. Don’t be so quick on the “everyone is god so it’s ok” trip either- yes right- BUT, we are still all differing frequencies of the same source light in a dualistic realm- and differing frequencies land you in different states of consciousness – and it matters a lot- witches know they have the moon, the cauldron, the incantation and the fire- they take a little piece of you and add it to the pot, and they cook and talk to the fire while the black cat watches. The fire is alive as a catalyst. You see it’s magic, it’s all magic, nothing is mundane unless you’re just stupid. There is only fuel, fire and the breath that fans the flame, there’s nothing else but what you’re thinking. Fire is supernal and so cooking foods is a gift from god and not to be taken lightly or negated as destroying the healing properties, rather these properties are increased and made more potent by your directed concentration of the flame itself for result and by the power of the mantra being cooked into the essence of the food itself via your focused mind flame. I don’t do anything with food, I don’t even put water in a pan or a cup without saying a mantra- after the food is cooked and stirred continually with the same mantra I then blow on it with the light of my love and intention and I also put my hands over it to further increase the potent healing effect. We are creators of everything and anything. Besides the food we eat, life itself cooks us, we cook others, it’s all a big pot filled with hot bodies stewing…and everyone is adding their flame to ours through eyes, ears, presence, touch- you name it the witch is alive, secret and totally invisible until you claim her, listen to her and eat her food made just for you. It’s such a waste that everyone is doing everything without any thought at all- eating, having sex, talking, listening- these are gods, we all are. This is a case of amnesia and due to the long term effects of forgetting our power we have succumbed to destructive forces that have driven us so deep into toxicity, you can’t be a “yogi” in a city, there are too many dirty fires, you can’t put them all out- you can only pretend- then you just become a lesser grade version of yourself- it’s not possible to find the purity of the stillness when nothing is still- the body needs silence- no wifi or stupid conversation- no traffic, restaurants or busy buildings- that is not tantra- “holding the space in spite it all,” haha please-  getting involved like you’re some “urban sadhu” it’s a social joke- but that’s just me and my knife cutting away at another version of a confused, dampened down kali that’s not truly kali at all, its maya getting her way, fooling you all. There is no deep self discovery without isolation and contemplation, without pure satsang and holy food, without holy music and no cars driving by, without the crystal magic of an open heart, unprotected and bare. Don’t you think all the saints and buddhas knew what they were talking about when they said, “sorry but there is no way- you can’t be worldly and saintly at once- you cannot attain liberation by emotionally engaging in this world.” You can dabble, have a business, talk about patanjali and give advice- but you yourself, need to retreat from being someone in the city and be no one out in nature- people always calling your name as if you have to stay set there “in you,” it’s a decay so insidious you don’t even know you’re rotting from the inside out, death should be bright not dark. It’s vital to let go of all attachment to your importance- which is really what this is all about -this holding on to status- there are grades of realization- nothing will change the rules, no loopholes, no bypassing the inevitable need for you to meet the fire undistracted. It’s all about you and where you are and what you want, it will be clear sooner or later so until then, it’s good to do good anywhere you are…even in the midst black smoke and gossip…

because if you’re not ready, even if you eat from her cauldron of light you will receive limited healing grace and you cannot ever receive her full blessings until you’re ready for the fire bath that seeks to destroy every impurity in your soul. You could receive an impetus for growth that will feel more like a curse to you because of your vibration being challenged by a purifying catalyst called food magic – btw impurity is only the misconception about who you think you have to be or do or have- of course, impurities also reek in your blood from environmental toxins- it all adds up to poisons ingested- creating only constant chaos that you then futilely attempt to maintain. There is nothing to maintain in this world but insanity- don’t be so quick on the trigger to kill me, I’m not the one whose going to die…

so food, the nurturing love of warm fire heals by first purifying. Purifying means taking things away, stripping down, naked truth. Your career, your social group, your family, your persona is not who you are. You say you know that and yet don’t truly act as if you believe any of it, pay close attention. If you’re a city yogi and you can juggle the world so well then why is it impossible for you to get naked? Oh you say not, but the defenses are up, the self censoring, the fear of failure and rejection, the useless repetition of getting it up day by day…”how are you today, did you find everything you need?” Such lies and insincerity, I can’t breath another bit of it in! For example how can you stay so busy saving the world by feeding homeless people as a means to an end of your spiritual aspirations if you haven’t yet cleansed your self down to the root of your being? It’s a nice thing to do but karma yoga is not the end all be all, it’s basically encouraging worldliness in most cases- so you keep making the cash or doing “seva” to keep all the studios afloat- It really all depends on you and your idea of spirituality and the intensity of who you are. Most people talk really big but are afraid of going all the way, because it means death to a lot of things. Fire baths in her cauldron aren’t pretty at first, but as the flames rise with the mantra she’s cooking up a magical potion called you- and it takes the expertise of white magic- only she knows the right recipe for you- what ingredients, what kind of solitude, how much time and depth of commitment. These considerations get results, not half ass wanderers, it’s all for you, you can’t cook, you can’t eat, you can’t deliver the flame- god light needs pratayahar- control of the hara- the fire, how hot is your fire and where do you want to put it? Withdraw from reckless engagement in worldly desire no matter how well disguised they are, she’s always wearing underwear and won’t ever let you in, that’s her game- maya never gives enough food and why? Because she CAN’T, she doesn’t have what you’re looking for, it’s seduction that’s never consummated only extinguished in agony that isn’t the mother fire light. You are malnourished because this illusion of “this world” is not real, your soul starves for the mystical magic of food cooked in moonlit words over the holy fire of RAM….but maybe you shrivel in the light because everyone is not at that pitchfork place karmically- the crossroads where she tells you everything and you still plug your ears -maybe you want to keep itching the inflammation called “ordinary life” well that’s fine but it’s not tantra or yoga or zen- it’s you saying “I’m not ready, I like it here burning in the fire box of maya.” The surgical procedure of getting ready for the plunge is exhilarating for a ready soul, she isn’t far now….tantra is using your fire wisely because fire is god. There are consequences for throwing flames without awareness, it’s karma. Burn baby burn in the fire bath and lay down as the law- shiva is the law, kali is the outlaw. Friction creates perfection when you lift up your sword and deliver.

When your fire is properly stoked, you have the power to transform through the sound of your voice, the concentrated touch your hands, your eye penetration, your presence as the flame in general- otherwise, the fire that you embody is diffused, weak and only effective at killing you slowly for no good reason and making you angry and frustrated. There is only you as fire and fuel- the quality of fire depends on the fuel. The fuel is everything I mentioned, there is the spiral that rises through the center of the flame, there is the soma that melts from the fuel of your soul, without soma you burn up your body making more shit and nothing else, karmic sludge and no white milky bath to die in, only more heat and suffering down below. Eventually we all must go, I would rather ride the flame into solid white light because I am- then die in the night as charred empty flesh because I never was…

only you can eat my love, not your shadow who spits me out…

Sharada Devi🔥

6 thoughts on “your shadow who spits me out”

  1. You are a treasure
    extraordinaire and rare
    ( just had to say it )
    like gold dust
    Giving the gift of silver words
    forged from the fire of infinity
    offered as a sacred meal to be savored
    ingested and absorbed
    feeding an inexplicable hunger
    that only a believer could be craving.
    You can cook me up some magic soup
    anytime

    1. other people can’t bend the sun
      the clouds can’t stop his light
      seeing only half a day
      we call the other side it’s night
      however, you aren’t laid in dark
      like the ocean isn’t the shark
      who gave away the moon

      (like she was a spear to stop his jaws?)

      I won’t bite through you triangle
      sigh, relief…
      embrace your island

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