without me, he is nothing


The goddess creates. She can’t stop creating. She is the form of the formless god. Desiring beauty, reflection and feeling. Desiring desire, to be wanted. Is god’s wish. And as far as I can tell, I am able to speak for the one true creator as if it were me. My hand, my word, my sacred splendid body. The goddess creates a way to seduce god into being. To make him, the formless, want her enough to reveal himself. Himself who is hidden in her art. Her art made from out of his infinite desire for her, to see him some how. And they search for each other in my poetry and picture. I feel I am what was made by and because of their longing and their magnitude. And so I sit and wonder what I can do…to make her more beautiful, to make him more obvious. I can write a story, I can make up a myth. I can whisper to a tiny wildflower. I can care for the things left behind, untouched by this knowing. But I know. And I cannot stop making love to the emptiness all around me. Because god is real, I make him up. I reopen his wounds. I beg to be seen. Because she is the seduction that does not cease. I become her hands and her eyes and I see him, everywhere turning into me. This is why they say god is love. Making love is life. Union is the peace of death when the embrace is complete. And they move again, back in place once more for the creation of this. And so she, the goddess is immortal creativity and he, the god is the source of all color and sound. And in between- in the realm where their overlapping is inevitable we remember for a moment who we are. Their love is no bardo, it is all there is. Do not despair, beloved. We are this erotic, omniscience- perfection of the everything. Making eternal love inside, outside. To itself. Destroying anything in the way of the canvas, the paper or the backdrop. I will make him love me forever. And he will know that without me, he is nothing. Sharada Devi


22 thoughts on “without me, he is nothing”

  1. Liking the last part, had image of Shiva/Shakti, he loves you without being made to do so, two to one to zero. One is the god, zero the absolute truth, not different, not the same. Just musing

  2. making up myths
    nudging the muse
    If you magnify, better yet – ” blow-up” the image of the peacock, it appears to be in a pose of suspended animation.
    Like fractal particles in a holding pattern. disconnectedly connected.
    That’s how i feel as I move about this world.
    floating. hanging on by a gossamer thread.
    I imagine in my minds eye, goddess creativity in motion. concocting god in an invisible mirror
    reflecting eternity as endless art
    that only the true of heart can see.

    1. I hope so,
      that the mythic might live
      alive in me,
      the nearly dead hero,
      who hung life by a thread
      in front of the mirror
      in grief, laughing at madness…
      if I made sense at all I’d say,
      “Please hang me instead so I won’t be
      forgotten.” Mistaken is the rest of the world, not me. I stare, I stare deeply at the cracks in god. And I know fear because even then, even now- the moon fills my face.

      If god is…I could be…this picture.

      1. laughing at madness
        isn’t it the only choice?
        other wise one becomes one with it
        the pull of lunacy
        tugging at your face
        where have all the solstice flowers gone?
        have they wilted and withered away in the face of too much moon?
        perhaps they have fallen between the cracks

        1. I don’t know. You’re probably the last one.
          Everyone wanted something that wasn’t real.
          They’d say otherwise, but I always knew…
          that’s why I conceded…nobody cares enough for me to care like I do. It’s out of balance and I’m working on self improvement.

          1. Sorry I don’t write. I want to. I do actually. He just doesn’t feel right. I feel like I’m hanging on though, still here or whatever that means or meant. From somewhere it still feels right. There is so much I don’t know. So much uncertainty. So many ways I’m pulled.. So many contradictons. So much changed over the last two months. And maybe so much stayed the same too. I’m trying to sift through it. Seeming step forwards, perceived failures. From somewhere, thank you.

          2. all i ever wanted was what was – is real.
            really real
            real is raw, it’s hard to take
            but take it, one must.
            i always, only, cared
            that’s why I am here, have been, over and over again
            to get down to it.
            what else is there to do?
            to get to the heart of the matter
            the rest is just so much pulp
            filling time in an existence of watching dust dance in a pointless sky…
            everything is out of balance
            let’s keep on working on self improvement
            i am right here with you.
            playing the game with no rules…
            maybe watching dust dance is a way towards balance ?
            i am an empty canvas

          3. Yes thank you..

            all I ever wanted was,
            my own canvas. 🐾

            black cat feet,
            silent and deadly,
            slipping in, to me…
            another someone
            from before,
            I can’t remember where
            I left you, kitty. 🐾

          4. That comment was in response to your recommendation of a song for Pablo to record for us. 🌫🔥❤️

  3. I am here…but not very often. I have not fallen into the cracks. Just processing and finding my own way in the dark. I love you dearly but have my own darkness that I am dealing with right now. I have had issues with rodents in my house…and death. I am feeling a bit wilted and sad and am trying to get myself watered back to life.

    1. 🌙that’s sad, that’s why I started the blog almost 3 years ago…as an outlet for all of us humans who can feel just like you…the blog isn’t my support group- it’s not actually about “me” at all. I set an example and I preach what I practice. No matter wilted or vibrant- Both ways. It’s an artistic metaphoric transformative canvas. To use emotion- alchenically. To turn wilted and sad into something that’s divine- defined with heart- out loud for the benefit of others- But I understand what you’re saying- and I hope you feel better soon. It’s all the retrogrades and eclipses- by September things will begin to get brighter and more clear, the past will let go.❤️☀️

  4. Om Mani Padme Hum. Om Mani Padme Hum.
    Namaste and all that good stuff.
    Part of the difficulty in my life has been trying to deal with YOU and BD splitting. I love you both so much and my heart has been breaking over and over again. I only know you both for a little over a year….via the videos and the three retreats I attended. I feel so sad for you and for him….I know this is just LIFE taking its course and playing out however it will.
    I know this happens when someone close to us makes a major change. I saw it happen when I split up with a very sweet man my entire family thought I would marry. It was too deep to explain to them what happened. Then soon after I up and decide to rent my house furnished and move to CA…never to return to the east coast (except for visits). I saw lots of discomfort around my decisions. I guess I kind of shook things up. That happens, you know. Of course you know!
    I have added prayer and meditation to my evenings as well as the morning ritual I have had since October last year. I have also been recording my singing and adding harmonies. I am alone a lot, and my friends do not always “get me” because of that. John does, and that is good, otherwise, he’d be history, too.
    Anyway, thanks for you kind, and quick response to my boring post. I am back to writing again…but not so much I want to share at this point. I will, I know I will.
    The most important thing in my life now, is God and being a sanctuary, pure and holy for God…..
    Lots of love to you dear Sharada Devi…..

    1. 🌙I can hear him
      in the trees and through the skies.
      Whoever left is not gone for long.
      We are bigger than we think we are,
      what this world needs to know,
      we are so little and hurting inside.
      God, little bird, he’ll be back.
      It’s on the inside, it. All of us.
      The spiritual power is knowing
      what needs to go and what needs to stay.
      He’s a friend I will never leave,
      no matter where he goes or how he says
      I left him. He left himself, that’s what this is. A reunion. Don’t be attached,
      but certain of the aching. And so,
      if in this life he wants to be real,
      to himself, he knows where to find me.
      I am never far and I am his refuge.
      I told him. He knows. When he believes,
      the two ends shall meet. In this or another body I cannot say. I know my love finds a way. It’s about everyone. Transformation,
      honesty. The grit of self deception.
      He knows, he always knew. I know my love follows him everywhere. And his love is bigger than this mess. It’s the world, what did we expect. We can lighten up, in the gloom of devastation we can find the truth that cannot be about a person. My love does not change, we grow and it can look ugly. We are all 100% butterfly gods🦋

      If you’re happy, we all shine brighter!

  5. even with the ones we love the deepest, the ones we hold most dear,
    being together is not always an always thing.
    separation, or distance – for many years does not alter the course of true love
    if it did, how could we ever call it love at all ?

  6. “we can find the truth that cannot be about a person”
    Yes. Yes. YES!
    I have to keep remembering that, over and over….

    1. Either way, my love for you REMAINS untouched and eternal. Beautiful bright moon, you have it all🌙


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