Wildfire

It’s the happy light when the wasp turns blue and we scoot across the floor. Too many orange dew drops, too many yellow faces- too many ways to count the days that we might have been wrong. Wrong to look the other way, wrong to wear a broken mask, wrong to let her tears dry lonely, wrong to think I’m wrong. It’s the happy light to turn the wheel all at once and all for one.

I’m happy to know you when I think of that song, when I hear it playing in my head…because maybe I found you…

and everything can fall apart around us and the center of the circle can begin to whirl and life can flush us down the toilet and I still think we’ll be ok-because the truth is, not everything matters and almost nothing at all counts as time
when we’re looking in instead of out and when we’re laughing because we still can. I know my days are numbered, I don’t know anything else…

except that your days are numbered too…but whose counting right? Was it 28,000 he said? And so I wouldn’t waste much time worrying about warts and the gray hair returning-we’ve got our foot on the big kaboom after all…

it’s the puppy’s flame that licks your face when you’re sad who comes as God in cuddles- and in the wet heat of the little hot tongue on our face we just know he knows something we just can’t yet pull off which is- nothing else matters but you- and the puppy feels that way about us and then nothing else matters but his wagging tail. This is probably how life should be. Puppy tongues and tails as that furry God we love who stopped time and made us forget ourselves for a moment- because he forgot himself and kissed you until you smiled.

For some reason I keep thinking of the song and yellow mountain and Wildfire the horse who got lost in the storm…

when I was around five years old there was this song that I would hear playing on the radio about a horse named Wildfire who got lost in a storm one night -and the girl couldn’t find him -and it was a really serious situation because he broke out of his stall -and I was so worried that he might have died or he was afraid and cold -I felt so helpless to save him so I would just sit there listening to the song and cry and cry. I guess I thought that the song wasn’t just a song but that it was real. And I had this small emerald green glass horse that I carried everywhere with me and I named this horse Wildfire. I thought about Wildfire all the time…

and many years and lifetimes have passed since she last rode upon Wildfire…but I think I found you and you weren’t lost after all, you were just looking for freedom and running through the rain in fields and meadows and forests of memory and long forgotten sorrow…do you remember me? I haven’t yet gone up in flames…

last night I smelled something burning and didn’t think much of it until we took the dogs outside to find the building next door up in flames – huge forty foot flames burning whatever stood in their way. The flame that eats and must be free. I see that in your eyes. The flame that burns wild in our hearts. The flame that sees the flame. The flame that is you.

Yes, this is what I meant to say,
You are the flame that sees the flame.
And I am the flame that knows your name is Wildfire…

beloved wild animal of my deep heart. Forever free in spite of me. Forever lost in primal love. Bare back upon you I ride into the storm…

and I’m not sad anymore and I’m not afraid because I’ve got you beneath me and the dragon Is breathing -and I’m at home inside the stormy mouth of Her womb. Sacred bright redeemer- a light beyond the fire knew exactly where to find
the one who got away.

As always,
Sharada Devi

27 thoughts on “Wildfire”

    1. As always, you knew her name…
      deep inside of her fire…
      she is the rapturous love of no return.
      ⚡️❤️⚡️ Wildfire.

      1. Aho!
        I feel lightning all around and at once and I am gentle rain, nowhere, not even mist. And the drum of Bhagavan Das’ Grandfather echoes through me, I find my Buddha heart, and give it up. I am raining lightning, up, to the one. Reign down, Wildfire, I can Smell this one offering.

        Jesus in not happy. That is what I wanted to tell you, when I was walking under the darkest sky.. How I know he is a Terrible gateway. And when I feel his sorrow, my face is the moon, cratered. I say gaunt because that’s what it takes: tears that made ridges, Bloom
        and here we are, rejoicing in this bloom, because we spiraled into this period. <3

        1. I’m totally in love with your words🌹
          You are the best writer ever.
          Such perfection of semblance and mood.
          My moon lies with you, sun of heaven☀️
          ⚡️❤️⚡️

  1. SHE is Wildfire. She runs free over the mountains and over the sea. Only your pure heart mind can be blessed by your unending devotion to grind down the rider in the sky. Who rides you? What demon do you let on board your train to nowhere? Moment to moment the choice is yours, who will you side up with? Stupid fools who gossip in your ear or will you go to the place where the wild horses run free?

    The wild naked yogi with long matted hair down to the earth, sits alone in his cave with Wildfire. She is in his belly. When she runs the flames of her love overpower his ego mind and he is warm and blissful in the bitter cold. High above the world the vulture soars in circles, with each turn another soul set free from the wheel of becoming. Wild Shakti is the fire of Kali’s breath.

    Down by the river I heard the drum and saw you in the sky Grandpa. You were sitting on the horse named Wildfire and the eagle feathers covered your head. You were howling and shaking the gourd. I saw thunder and lightning come from the mouth of the horse. The four horses are here. The end is the beginning of the rising sun.

    “Good Morning………. don’t lie” My Native American Grandpa Little Joe said that to me a long time ago…
    Great Grandfather Deer Tail,
    Bhagavan Das

    1. YOU ALWAYS KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY.
      WILD INDIAN MAN. CREATOR OF THE STORM.
      FIRE SPEAKING GOD UNFURLED.
      FLAMING TONGUE UP IN THE SKY.
      MY LOVE FOR YOU BURNS BRIGHT.
      AS THE HOLY SUN OF RAM.
      WILDFIRE LIVES IN YOU.🔥

      1. This is very special

        When I see my face in the sun
        I know Baba, how Bhagavan Das sits
        and Buddha
        I look up to you, Goddess in the sky. Our hearts, a river of light,
        -I used to live on The Chestatee- “river of light”- where Baba walks
        when I walk that way, I am light, I see light,
        -My first mentor said, when he was a boy in Africa, he remembers the Festival of Light: “I was sittin by the road, in a mud puddle, rain comin down. I think about it when it rains. I can remember it like it was just yesterday. I hear them comin down the road -‘light on light, light on light, light on light’… They were carryin a tree, as big as a bus.. ‘lightonlight, lightonlight, lightonlight’. Their feet did not touch the ground! ……heh, when I think about it now, it takes my breath away.”
        Om

  2. She whispered don’t cry
    I love you
    wrapping me in velvet words
    that sooth and settle
    like a blanket of tender mercy
    burning down the house of illusion
    return to the heart of unbridled holy laughter

    Energize these crystal bones
    enliven this diamond body
    invigorate the chakras
    and the subtle granthis
    set them whirling
    creating new patterns of being
    ignite the kudalini
    set healing fire in motion
    Ah, to be reborn
    as formless rainbow spectrum
    waxing into fullness
    becoming wild and free
    whole

    1. And you stopped crying because you know it’s true. I love you Mother Devi – She is the light that comes as Radhe’s song from the heart of Krishna’s flute.

      sometimes tears and sometimes laughter-
      but always wrapped in love❤️

  3. And I just heard the song and realized it wasn’t Wildfire who was lost -it was the girl who went out into the blizzard to find Wildfire because he got scared by the storm and broke out of his stall…

    And they say she died that winter and came back as an owl hooting outside of his window six nights in a row- that he should leave with her and they should ride away forever on the horse she named Wildfire.

    Maybe I was so sad because the girl was me.
    And I would do it again to find you – the wild spirited, wind horse of my soul.

    And I’m crying again because I never knew…

  4. After listening to this song today
    – not having heard it in so many years –
    could not get it out of my head
    it took me back to timeless days
    living far from the madding crowd
    in the mountains of the angels crest
    amongst tall trees
    ina gentle breeze
    🐴 🎶 ❤️ 😇 ⛰ 🌲 🌬

    1. I know. Life used to be so different.
      People so clear and bright. Time so
      steady and wise. I remember when I still
      has a warm hand to hold…

  5. I look back and catch it! Like Indiana Jones just stumbled upon an aquifer of golden coins. And your face in the black water, empty but golden coin eyes, running towards me. It is the heart that is dawning$$$$$!
    I dare peer in again, and I see myself! Lit by a phone, thumbtyping, losing the weary world for a dark golden portal. or brilliant puddle…
    There is only one way, to keep, breathing, underwater, into the dark
    My whole body, catered to and given, how far, down -will u keep reading., does it matter-no
    You smiling, we sing Wildfire! (as in a dream, telepathic

    1. under wAter- into the dark-how far down
      will you go to find her?
      Black face smile. Eyes of gold gaze.
      Riches and piles of words left unsaid.
      I think Wildfire means “move the night”

  6. This took me back as well. Back to the attic where I spent most of my time playing , when not in the woods, and listening to music. I love hearing these stories of your childhood memories. Some are like deja vu to me. I had an imaginary friend then, and she could sing….was that you my lovely Wood Sprite Dakini , with glistening , twisted horns , that the wind whistles through like Krishna’s flute? What you said about remembering when you had a warm hand to hold…. Yes. You are making me feel like a little girl again, barefoot in the crunchy Autumn leaves with the comforting sweet smell of Summer’s demise in my nose.

    1. Thank you butterfly…

      I was thinking we could be young forever
      so that we would never have to say goodbye..

      just play and play under mother heavens watchful eyes…and we don’t have to worry
      or be afraid -and we found Wildfire too…
      and he takes us anywhere we want to go❤️

      1. you are so kind
        that this is not a practice
        but a drop-all breath.
        We are so funny,
        But we need this, river
        More than this world. -no one around has words like yours

        Wildfire, wildfire!
        Cutting my teeth on the name
        And that’s not all.

        1. YOU LAST FOREVER AS MY CHILD
          AND AS MY MOTHER LIGHT🌸

          so don’t be misled…
          little girl and holy mother
          drooping tree and swooping sky
          fruit keeps falling
          everywhere always
          as life and death
          and children mourning
          but mother never really dies
          and baby never really grows old…

          We got it covered! no problem.😂

          So I’m saying, SMILE FOREVER!

  7. My body is red clay, damp and unfired
    It is nightfall as we sit around the ring of desert flames
    Looking into the eyes of my elders
    Old man sings a song for our mother
    Tears run down my face
    Dripping into the red sand
    The mixture makes the same clay as my body
    I look for your face in the stars one last time before I walk into the fire

    1. And who is
      this…???
      Marlee the goddess
      who surrendered to
      the sky…?

      heaven’s tears and earth’s blood
      a fire Queen walks through flames
      to the other side of me.

      I love you Marlee,
      She who has become
      The Red Summer Song.

      1. You have my heart.
        I hear you whisper in my ear- what are you afraid of?

        Godly lightning please strike, start the fire to purify the hearts of all and we shall sing the summer song
        Until the snow falls
        We will then become still and silent
        While the fire is burning to keep us warm

        OM VAJRASATTVA HUM
        ❤️❤️❤️

        1. Where have you been all my life?!
          stupid question I know…
          this Devi, I saw her fall as a tear from the
          eye of my Lord Avalokateshvara.
          That’s you…
          but I see that you’re red and your eyes are green and you’re a dancer with flowers
          beneath her lotus feet..
          🌺🌸🌼🌹🌷🌻🌺🌸🌹🌼

          1. Excuse me, YOU are the queen of fire…I am at the mercy of your words, they have melted me, my tears are over flowing the waterfall connected to the shallow and still lake, I see you evolving in the flower, you smell so sweet. Sweeter than honey, sweeter than a mother song.

            Until next time or next breath we shall meet there

            😭🌺💧

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