wet bunny death wings


Nettle infusion, I make it for the minerals. Milarepa lived on nettles boiled in water, same thing. Plus I heard he sucked rocks during times of extreme hardship. We have dreams in these dark caves we submit to, to open our eyes through the darkness. The eyes that are covered in earth skin, the skin must be broken for his light to get it. And so in this delirious state, having only drank green water for days. I was on the mountains peak, went to face death, condemn the sin, not the sinner. I was alone. But it seemed the whole world and all it’s demons thought I was having a party, a family reunion and a seance all at one. Milarepa was covering me with his corpse, void of flesh though, like I was inside a body of bones made of him, I saw through my dreams and hallucinations and yet I participated because I am passionate and need something to offer my guests, like a philosophy, an insight, a poem. So a girl carrying wings walks by. Then we look down and see a dead bunny lying in a bed of flowers, red flowers. The girl had put wings on his body so it appeared the bunny was winged. My shadow who walked beside me said, “it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” these wings were around, strewn on the ground as we kept walking. Even though I was high in the cave covered in his bones, this all seemed real, plus my guests were all watching, waiting for me to react. God, a buddhas a buddha, relax, no ones going anywhere but here, in my head shaped dome of creation….anyway, she drops them for him- these wet wings, they were wet now, kind of all stuck together in a mass like my sadness for nothing, wet bunny death wings is what he saw and I knew, so he can scrape up earth’s shit and eat it. Milarepa, had this fear of flying due to what he might see below but he did it anyway…just jumped off the cliff like a vulture seeking the dead, his bones left and nothing. He drank only green water made of nettle, no blood left. You know that. And so he did it, he showed this world, how bunny death stalks from above- only the sun casts the shadow we see. I talk of death because it’s my theme, not because I can think of nothing else- oh wait yes actually it is because I can think of nothing else. Everything wraps itself around this reason. Milarepa went back to the past like we all do, and gathered the bones of his birth into body. His body, his mother, he killed for mother. He died for her too. We all do. That’s the dream for the past several decades in my book. So this guy came, from out of nowhere as they all do in dreams, it doesn’t matter if you’re held up in a cave -and he held me up, lifted me up effortlessly with the palms of his hands -way above his head, he was seriously dangerous. Effortlessly serene. No one can lift me, but he did, and it’s not because I’m fat, but because I’m seriously heavy. Filled with lead and snake venom pooling for millennia. Then he said “120 pounds,” he was a scale. The scales is libra, I have pluto in libra. Venus rules libra, venus is god. In case you didn’t know flying star. Then, demons started crackling like a blazing fire with laughter, “what’s next, what’s next!!!” They psychically probed me. Ok, there were dressed up police drinking vodka and hippies with bad serpent hair. So of course, I had to be singing as always. Sing the devil away, sing god back. “Ha, ha, ha!!!!” They were all hysterical with laughter at this point, the demons, the dead family, the disembodied saints and the lesser gods. I went on dreaming away, it was getting cold, I could be at death’s door, the mouth of the cave has been closed awhile now. The floor was red where I sat singing to them all, there were swirly things floating and dancing to my voice, like living feathers without even a bird or a bunny attached. This was all before we left, to get away from that man who weighs everyone and that’s when the bunny scenario came to life. Basically the party wasn’t over and I’m jumping back and forth in time, being fondled by ghouls in the dark cave, I don’t move or flinch. I just rattle bones silently into their vision. “Let me finish,” I think through the film being played….so my brother was pushing open the back of an old empty rusty bus, on the curb, next to where the bunny feathers were strewn- all because my sister I suddenly had, who was a bad hippy with the worst hair of all, said the bus was haunted with death’s scent. She was right, I have a nose like a dog. There is a bus, the school bus that children get taken in. It’s part of the possession. The entry into bunny-hood I suppose. I’m back because I feel unloved, not because I think you need me. People were dancing before I left my bone palace of Milarepa, because I knew we had to sing for Venus- that the star was waiting somewhere to devour the night even though we couldn’t see her. Not devour because the night was evil but devour because she consumes darkness in order for the light to be created. This is, in fact the story of the black hole. Why, how and how long. I just told you- probably forever. Bodies remember each other even before minds do and I saw the bunny and I knew nobody remembers but my body did. It was clawing from the inside to lay over the bunny, stroke it’s wet wings and kiss it’s bloated body. Back to before when the days were long and she always came early without being called. Venus, we sing to you. Deliver us from evil. Parasites is what I’m
finding out evil is, how they take over and colonize the body from within. Deliver us from martyrdom, From death to immortality. From darkness to eternal light. Milarepa flew with wings nobody could see. She was the reason he feared and the reason he flew. It’s that hawk that casts shadows that Bhagavan Das told us about, that sound of dark wings- but no eyes to see, only the thump of within, rabbit wisdom, the way the Native American Indians would tell time was by shadows that rocks made, it’s death. They were talking to death. Mother is the killer, not him, he has no choice. We pay though don’t we, through every terrified hole- we throw money at time and say, “please close your wings and go home.” I am home. In a cave, far away, long ago, in his body of bones dreaming of a ridiculously materialistic me. It’s not even worth the effort to speak but I do. They came from afar, so it’s done. “Bunny baby, everyone can fly.” I told that to every demon and dead whatever as I kissed forehead after forehead in the darkness of time. The sound of wings moving wind filled the airless cave and everyone was enchanted by Venus who was outside promising us all, drawing rings around our body, killing us all softly with her breath and her light. But it won’t happen again. This if definitely the contradiction of a lifetime we’re now entering. I need space, autonomy. Unbroken love I don’t work for, prove myself for, immaculately delivered. No, I need to be seen before I am known, just for existing not for promising anything like the dawn or the food that gives eternal life. And this man knew my weight because he measures heaviness which is gravity. He is the balancer of karma, she tips the scales makes you do things like kill entire villages for your mother or learn to fly so you can see her body in the darkness of the hidden sun. Where the incantations go to mend broken hearts and bones, to raise the dead. To clear the records of your every earthly name. The bunny already has wings, we just put them back where they belong. Did you ever see watership down? It’s a mythic bunny movie, very important movie about Milarepa as a bunny, what he would do, what it means. Do you even know who Milarepa is? If the sky and everything suddenly turned black I wouldn’t even worry about it. I’m dealing with fear and the honesty of loveless conditions 24 hours a day. It’s the process my dog, my friend and all of us go through. My shadow laughs even now at my innocence. Sharada Devi

33 thoughts on “wet bunny death wings”

  1. The one who is not
    innocent is all of them.

    Fear in the eyes of the hawk
    Because the bunny
    has wings

    Dancing sickness
    Healed sound
    Torn apart before the end

    Trinity dawn,
    swirl inside
    I am here in the dark

    1. ????????????????????????????????????
      what are these words saying? it really annoys- me considering all the time I spend dancing with you…

  2. look at the little bunny…

    no matter how slow he walks…he always hop hops a little bit…

    your essence is soft like him…

    I wrote a bunch yesterday twice but deleted it cause it was all just distorted darkness…

  3. a small bunny has taken sanctuary on my back porch making it’s presence first know to me on Christmas day. i am leaning towards the notion that rabbits do have the potential for winged-ness because i once had an angora sweater that while possessing the softest ever to the touch nap, also had places that felt like feather quill tips. i liked to stroke that sweater – stroking myself and the sacrificed bunny in the process. i eventually gave the sweater away – as if my putting it in the flow passed on karmic retribution to someone else. We all pay in the never ending spiral. i guess we all win too. Does the vortex have any stake in the matter, any hidden agenda ?
    i have had an encounter with nettles, stinging nettles and they did just that. Instant skin irritation. So that which is beneficial and healing on the inside may not necessarily be so invitingly tactile.
    I’ve heard it said that discretion is the better part of valor. But then consequence too can be a baffling concept. Still paying after all these many years… – no good deed goes unpunished… Maybe the Christmas bunny was coming back to to say all is forgiven. We’re both working on our wings. i say take a risk. be open, bold and blatant. What have you got to lose? the scales just might just be tipped in the favor of flight.

    1. the flight. What else is there, the slither maybe or the hop I guess! Happy to hear
      you’re still here. Sending love♥️♥️♥️

  4. The Open End, that holds,
    All fear-full things to be innocent,
    Because they are seen in you.

    The one who comes down,
    Brings up the dead body
    To give it light, life, and come through your eyes.

    I can’t go on with the translation. I have to go down, myself, bring up fresh death. And what I mean is cut open this dead body to let out the stale air. It’s gross- stagnation. Phrenetic movement is crazy by nature because it fucks the programmer. The only way it can be- the cornerstone of a path too travelled. The crazy woods enchant because of the dark and scary, because of the light. Howl of my past. Fear of my future- walking corpse brings the dawn. So it’s like she said- painful because of hiding. I want to come out- walk the hall of home, until the familiar walls give out, just because I can’t go on any other way. Give up heart walls or death body. You meet me to bring me faster. We both run, with no escape.
    When I lay down, your foot will be my new cornerstone. Weighing the bindu in whatever is my heart, crushing every litttle thing, around.
    I learned that the binary star to Sirius (the one that you can’t see) is 300 times harder than diamonds. But like I’ve said before, the loss of rock is harder, like how emptiness is hard if you can’t let go. Vaccuous space is colder than cold, if you still have a comfortable warm memory. I guess what I’m saying is about direction. Sometimes in is harder than out. I think at some point it doesn’t matter, like when you realize the difference is created in your will. That may not make sense, but I can’t hold on- I lay down, Diamond.
    I can still hear a rat. Funny

    1. When you said you wanted to be my enemy,
      that was profound. God, somebody knows.
      Bringer of the brightest known peace,
      he sees the struck heart, dagger and all.
      How of course killing is the answer, the enemy is the ever clear, all encompassing dark lord of the sun who shines with his weapon. Finally. Last will and testament- that’s what we mean, we both should be dead fighting God until the end of diamonds and hell. This writing is stellar, brilliant like a final war. Enemies behind every eye- and only you saw what I meant- and agreed to the battle. I believe in this fight. I don’t forget living or dying, words or handshakes, promises or rings of fire…great great great enemies forever ♥️♥️♥️
      You shine through ☀️☀️☀️

      1. It’s all about this- every word. Bindu- destroyer of heaven.
        “In the middle, i-in the middle,” of an absent hell.
        Bright Eye, two with your movement, one with your body.

        So subtle, the angle that light comes
        Back. To make the bright light, empty triangle lens that is distorted upon the curve of the lens, or Earth.
        I was thinking about Egyptian energy and pyramids, last night. The eye at the top. Projecting from the three to the one and one out to the three.
        Let me be in the middle with you, where weight is held without

        1. Ok. Because you’re hot like a snake,
          fathomless and filled with weapons.
          Hell is here in the beauty that burns.
          In the eyes that watch the enemy cry,
          in the heaven unknown but by her. Once
          the bottom is hit, no one leaves but me.
          You won’t see the one eye unless you’re in it, of it, because of it. And yes, I’ll be there- because I’ll be possessed once again by the deity we have yet to lift or to name. You, barely there: me, there is none. Triangle. Enter. Never leave. Me.

  5. A couple of years ago I went to a backyard new age mini festival. During a lecture we did a “power animal” group meditation/visualization, I saw a rabbit in my minds eye. Not sure what it meant but it felt right despite my doubts. Whatever that means. I’m kind of like a little distorted bunny boy. Except not cute because my hair receded and my teeth yellowed.
    I had a memory return to me when I was doing a mass memory survey last year to prove if I was evil or not and I remembered that in 5th grade I tried to shoot bunnies at the school behind my house with an air soft gun. I have no idea why. Maybe I thought it was cool or bad ass. I never wanted to cause suffering but still can’t figure it out because I was old enough to know.. I don’t think I could have killed one though let alone hit my mark.
    I was always currpt or perverse wanting to see/touch all that I wasn’t allowed. destroy, take/rip apart put in my mouth, chew everything in arms reach.
    I’m not chewing on anything right now though.. this is the longest I’ve ever gone I think.. though I may be developing a maple syrup addiction.. though, It’s nice to not have a bloated stomach for the first time ever though. It’s been four days since I’ve eaten any solid and it still feels like there is something in there.. the salt water flush wasn’t pleasant.. I puked it out and just clear salt water. I was amazed. I was sure the contents would come out.. that’s gross. I’m scared there’s something attached to my stomach. That’s not possible right??

    1. Only demons. You’re so different!
      Happy you’re alive. ALIVE like no one
      and moving into the void 5D. Paradise calling and you’re undecided yet brave
      and moving death worlds without even knowing how. The flame is within the demons. Wake up, stop waiting. Jump the tracks. HOME

      1. Good different? The triples are wild and more frequent. When you first said to ignore them or my own interpretations, they kept appearing.. well, whatever.Yes, there is some tough stuff in my stomach, but I think for the most part food passes through to the colon okay. I was always thin. 20-25 I started binging and gained 50lb. I lost it all in the last two years but kept binging. About a year ago I noticed a very heavy pulse in my abdomen. I thought it was because my stomach and guts just were always full of food which it was.. in particular left of my belly button there seemed to be a firm mass. I thought it was my stomach. After not eating solids this week, I lay down and just let my stomach rest, and I just still felt so full. I do think there is still food in my stomach and guts…but this is like a big firm mass. I think it’s a hernia! Pushing up on my stomach keeping me from being hungry ( I haven’t felt in years and desperately want to feel again) it makes sense but now I don’t know what to do. I don’t have health care. Do you have any hernia knowledge? I suppose it could be just regular blockage…but that would be a lot. Okay.

        1. You could go to the emergency room and tell them you’re in pain etc- you will get free help with that- and an X-ray if needed.
          I do know the stomach has a pulse which can be powerful. A hernia probably wouldn’t grow but something else would- so it could be a number of things- you don’t need healthcare go to the ER and tell them it hurts, you feel nauseous- the doctor will feel it, if you’re worried and you can find out.
          Hernias happen from lifting heavy things and also from pushing I think- I don’t know a lot- but I’m sure you’re going to be ok- ok?

          1. Well, I started to feel some shifting today.. like almost I can feel a breakthrough into empty stomach/hunger. I think it may really be undigested material stuck. I’m going to keep with my liquid diet because I have a feeling it’s working and exactly what I need and I want to see if I can reduce the blockage by steady no solids.. except maybe some kitchari every few days?? I’m off the master cleanse and gonna try juices.

  6. I imagine a bright beautiful day…around noon…stopped on a train…somewhere that could be Tombstone…health perfectly alkaline and well rested…high hopes…totally content and happy…with amazing times ahead of us…because we’re on a trip that really goes somewhere…one of those random scenes that ends up as an apex memory…to serve you forever…never coinciding with the sequence of your expectations…like the plane ride traveling to Florida alone to visit my dad when I was very young…just an exhilarating rush of happiness…from out of nowhere…because everything suddenly became perfect…and you were there…and the dust kicked into the air…and a man that looked like Wyatt Earp is standing…staring at the train…

    and then we were dead…it was so fun it killed us…reincarnated as stars…laughing forever…because her magic is everywhere…

    I saw a sparkle out of the corner of my eye this morning…the smell of incense wafted up to my nose from the inside of my desk…I was sitting there with my tea and my prayer wheel…like I’ve seen others do in the morning…it was so calm and peaceful…I felt like I was in the temple…with the lamas…and then came the flash…the light was with me…just for a little while…

    1. I wrote and it dispeared in the flames.
      I always say you’re honest and honesty rages burning down like a god, fiction from fact.
      Perhaps you’re the vision of you that you’ve always loved, brings you back to the burning cross where your eyes met his and you knew,
      It was only a matter of time, of burning until God came as peace and took you…
      back like the angel you are.

  7. I just shared and broke down at an AA meeting…fuck it…I just cried and trembled…in front of everyone…really embarrassing…oh well

  8. How does one go through life as a total failure…not good at anything really …at least nothing recognizable from the outside…socially unacceptable no matter what approach you take…stumbling bumbling…stuttering stammering…naked and broken…stepped over…dissociated from and ignored…how does one fall on ones face over and over and over again…and I actually have the gall to think I’m smarter than they are…it’s like a test of wills…they wait for me to crawl to them and beg…but I refuse to do that…so they ignore and dissociate…I’m smarter than they are…in a lot of ways…but I’m also very unskilled socially…not respected in the hierarchy…and unwilling to submit myself to their trip…to use a BDism…

    1. I don’t surrender…I don’t know how…sometimes not even to death…and this hole inside of me just gets bigger…darker…emptier and more painful as time passes…

      it helps to be able to surrender sometimes I think…sorry to write so many times tonight…

      I still recall the taste of your tears…


      1. I know my friend. You can come to the light
        feel the pain and stop resisting the spiritual death you must go through to be
        released from the ghosts of the past.

    2. One loves god with all their body mind and soul- their entire heart. Ramakrishna considered it a blessing- what you describe- as it forces you inward to god with all
      you’ve got, it’s the truth we’ve got nothing else…

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