virgin in the whorehouse

This may not make sense to you. It’s not 1+1. It’s just 1. There isn’t a story to tell. I’m not being a slut Let’s see, what else?

Yes. one more thing, don’t let the sun go down on me if you’re not there. I’ve been told you’re not supposed to look though… it causes insanity.

Anyway, I just got done washing the dead bugs off the front of the car. I do it everyday when we are driving a long way, which apparently involves a lot of killing. I’m no hippie, I’m a neurotic control freak- and I clean and arrange things constantly. When Bhagavan Das takes something out I walk behind him and put it away, he turns around to get it totally confused that it’s gone and thinks he’s gone crazy. I do this to everybody. I move really fast making order from chaos. I cause a lot of problems when everything isn’t perfect- which it never is and so I’m always really busy making the world a better place. Hahahaha.
Bhagavan Das says I’m the most jacked up and intense person he has ever known. And I say, “really?”

I’ve also been told by a friend that I’m high maintenance and I said, “no I’m not” But it’s true, I am high maintenance because I’m just plain hard to be around. It’s too much. The heat is too hot. The world is too dirty. The rooms are too ugly. I don’t like small talk. I don’t like a lot. It’s true and I think I love complaining because I’m discontent and I love to stir things up. Just for fun. Just looking for a rise, it’s kind of an an addiction I’m pretty sure.

When BD says “less is more” it’s because that’s what I’ve been telling him for the past ten years. He goes insane with trinkets and I have to keep deconstructing his reality. He loves to collect and I love to give it all away. if it isn’t serving a purpose, it’s got to go. No dust gathering allowed.

Practicality aside, I’ll leave you to figure out what it all means…and now it’s time for the meltdown or the honeymoon…that’s really up to you too…I’m surrendered to the possession.

“It’s not you. It’s me” right.

So I’m taking off my clothes, taking off my face, taking off my mind, taking off my value. I really have nothing more to lose besides a friend or a body.

Isn’t that you? Eclipse. Radhe Shyam.

She is the light of his love and he is the dark one. The moon disappears into the black sun. The black sun turns white whenever she smiles.
I’d say their both shy but it’s not true. This love is an urgent collapse of both bodies. And somewhere inside we get smashed into gutty corpses on the hood of their car. I’ve washed them away twice but they keep coming back.

Misfit stars shooting back and forth, guns drawn. Love makes a break for the shadows. They pass and keep touching and my eyes are on the silver road. Dust in the desert like ash from the flame of combustion. I didn’t mean to burn you, well maybe I did.

Cool running water, standing in the river. My only true love is the sound of her moving. Do you trust me with your life when the sun is blotted from the sky? Ink stains in the paper sky. Tear her open so that she will flow. Stop him before he kills her. I’ve heard it’s called a blue moon when love turns into a passionate God. She loves to sit on his thorny lap and sing her songs of rain.

She loves to promise him everything. Like flower in the spring or summer touches in her golden hair. But still they both hold guns and still they both hold thunder. Louder than the righteous lions roar is when their hearts touch the ending of each other. “It’s forever my darling and I love fighting with you.”
“Stop spreading your legs in my face”
“”Stop groaning every time I rise.”

“Don’t be stupid. None of this is for you. I’m the greedy invisible sidewinder and I like the way she moves…”

Will you ever understand or know me? Will you ever break my sway? Will you ever lay me down and stop me from sucking your horn away?

I doubt it.

Tip of the sun, you think you know. You think it’s about you. You think I’m too easy. But you have no idea what I’m talking about. Rohini is his lover. He chose her first because she’s the sexiest face of the moon he’s ever seen and her body glows red and curves and swerves- and she’s forever giving his mother back to him…

“I will erase you. I will deface you. I will embrace you. I will subdue you. I will screw you until you’re loose and lying upon the throne of the lion.” This is what she said to him during the eclipse. It wasn’t me ok?

Back to back and eye to eye. Face to face don’t say goodbye. But you’ll leave and the shining will return and everyone will think I’m either being a nice girl now or I just went home.

You don’t know who you’re taking to. The holiest of the holy have no morals at all. I’m just telling you what I heard. The holiest of the holy fuck in the sky all day and that’s how night is born. I bet you don’t know that. And you’ve got your book of rules and your condoms and chastity belt. Of course, we don’t want any babies or diseases
while we’re busy getting what’s ours do we?

I think I’ve gone too far this time. I was told that this time I know too much. Every night I dream I’m levitating and sometimes I see a headless woman with no feet and a long white gown on floating down the empty street in front of me.
I think she’s the moon and she’s looking for him. Remember he’s only a head and she is his body.

And the lightbulbs seem to have shorter lives these days because nobody listens and is looking for me somewhere else. It’s not a charity case. It’s not a court case. It’s not a date. You belong to me. I ate the sun. I sunk the sea. He is my refuge. He is my tree.

I am the virgin in the whorehouse ok?
It’s not my fault. I’ve been consumed.

Black mountain in the twilight valley
the moon sat on his peak
his hidden sun was burning
her life fire into places
we always took for granted
like the way she rocked him open
or the way he held her still….

What I’m trying to say is that,

the river winds seductively through the mountain. She isn’t linear. She isn’t dry and frigid. She moves through him and is never static. The mountain holds her tightly because he’s thirsty and she bares his life. The sun shines upon the water, the peaks and the trees. The wind of the word blows through the valleys they create.

When the new day comes you will see the child who stands inside their secret fire. When the new day comes you will hear the howling of the bloody moon giving birth to form. Horns or halos, a goat or an owl- it doesn’t matter when we bite the dust. I’m looking at you through your very own clouds sucking your face away. So don’t blame me if you don’t like what I see.

It’s all just talk. I’m only a mannequin in a store window who somebody forgot to dress. You can’t buy what I’m not wearing so don’t worry.

Sexy sexy snake hissing in the hole. I know what you want. Sexy sexy snake infinite and whole. I love you in loops and tight places. Just don’t second guess my language. Don’t burn me again on the stake. My hair was flaming red back then and my name was Sarah from the bible…

I remember when my baby died and they thought I did it. Don’t say goodbye again ok?
I’ll be good this time.
Maybe,
Sharada Devi

 

11 thoughts on “virgin in the whorehouse”

    1. Wayne, you are so pleasantly strange.
      What an unusual video. I hope everyone catches a glimpse of her face before it’s too late…thank you

  1. eternal virgin, there is only the whorehouse, and
    your nakedness is keeping all THAT in flux.
    thank God your clothing is beyond repair

      1. My wardrobe has become so extensive I have lost count of the ways in which I can and do hide. My main role is that of a mechanic down at the paradox garage inside my heart. My assistant (and teacher) Love Dog and I spend our days whining and scratching at fleas, and when something broken comes our way we get to fixin’. Sometimes we see there is nothing to fix, and we just sit. Like the other day…
        I was workin’ on some broken stuff,
        and the “official” walked into the garage and yelled out
        “THIS PLACE IS HELL”
        “WHY DO YOU KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN DOWN HERE…..”
        “TRYIN” TO FIX SOMETHING THAT AIN’T BROKEN?”
        “THE ONLY THING THAT’S BROKEN IS YOU”
        “WHY DON’T YOU GET OUT OF THIS PLACE”
        “YOU”RE DRIVING ME CRAZY”
        Then she just walked out….
        but her voice kept right on….
        left me kinda wonderin’ about that…..
        Got to feelin’ kinda broken in my self….
        Love Dog came out,
        covered in some stinking brown mess
        he’d been rollin’ in..
        and asked what all
        the comotion was about,
        so I told him.
        Love Dog just started laughing
        (in a Love Dog kinda way)
        and he said
        “Look around…what do you see?”
        “broken stuff” I said.
        “Where is your heart at” love Dog asked.
        “In the fixin I guess.”
        “Well, ain’t this the best place for you…”
        “All this broken stuff, and you a fixer”?
        “Yeah, I reckon” I said.
        “But Love Dog, wouldn’t it feel good
        to just walk outta here….no more broken stuff..
        no more heart’s a breakin….no more hell…”
        “It might feel good for a while” Love Dog said,
        “But eventually, your heart would have to breathe”
        “Yeah, I recKon” I said.
        And that was about the end of it.
        That’s why I love Love Dog.
        But anyway, as I was sayin’,
        my home is the Paradox Garage. Where all the broken stuff comes. It may not get fixed, but there is plenty of sweet tea and birthday cake, and we can just let it all go. I’m no mechanic…..just a god farmer stuck in a paradoxical garage here at the church of the broken heart….. The Paradox Tabernacle. Exhaust from a cynical engine. Fruit hanging from a dying tree. Human. I see that I basically have two options…look in the mirror (Be Here Now), or not. The mirror is you(me). This looking (or not) creates a myriad of other choices. Our choices probably do not matter, which in itself, does not matter(It’s ALL Spirit), because ultimately, nothing matters any more than anything else, so it all matters, so go ahead and do what you do, but never put anyone out of your heart (more Karma), and be sure to visit the “rules” tab. All of this is only relatively real. Absolute Truth is (********** or whatever you call it), and we can’t see that while alive. Now I am going to show you what my mechanic’s license says (so you’ll know who I’m not saying I am).

        Dear Stranger; Your degree of freedom depends on the degree you have realized that you are God. The Everything and the Nothing. In God there is no “East or West” as the saying goes…no good or bad, or, as my teenager says….”it is all good”. Yes,….you have no choice other than to realize that you are God,(or not) and in so doing, will either love me(you) as God (God can only love) or love me(you) (or not) as whomever it is you think you are (God in drag), in which case there may be a time element (dharma)involved in your love becoming manifest, because you are in a body. Either way, you cannot be bad, and eventually, you will love me (yourself). Be it now or later, you will realize that you are God (everyone including you and me) and there is only love. Life is the school. Love is the lesson. Sooner or later, you will graduate. (although it is not clear if you get a square hat with a thing hanging down). 😀
        Love yourself. Serve others. Remember God.
        p.s.
        If the above is not true (bummer), then we are all in deep shit, and the one that dies with the most toys wins. Take your pick. Be kind. I love you.

  2. It’s about a super computer hacker. With some level of a conscience. Who can’t separate himself from the influence of his seemingly embodied dead father. He is for lack of a better word caught in his psychotic mind and he talks to us ( the audience ) telepathically.
    His dead father has influenced him to destroy corporate society, the FBI and wipe out the world banking system.
    His sister and their childhood friend are all working together in league with the Dark Army to topple The System.
    It’s kind of intriguing the way it is written and played out.
    i know i should not watch much tv.
    And most of it is just a lot of crap.
    but i do sometimes.
    if it’s something unique and speaks to me on some level.
    Most of what i like, does not have mass appeal.
    i too like a good drama.
    But maybe that is not the kind of drama that you meant.

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