This may not make sense to you. It’s not 1+1. It’s just 1. There isn’t a story to tell. I’m not being a slut Let’s see, what else?
Yes. one more thing, don’t let the sun go down on me if you’re not there. I’ve been told you’re not supposed to look though… it causes insanity.
Anyway, I just got done washing the dead bugs off the front of the car. I do it everyday when we are driving a long way, which apparently involves a lot of killing. I’m no hippie, I’m a neurotic control freak- and I clean and arrange things constantly. When Bhagavan Das takes something out I walk behind him and put it away, he turns around to get it totally confused that it’s gone and thinks he’s gone crazy. I do this to everybody. I move really fast making order from chaos. I cause a lot of problems when everything isn’t perfect- which it never is and so I’m always really busy making the world a better place. Hahahaha.
Bhagavan Das says I’m the most jacked up and intense person he has ever known. And I say, “really?”
I’ve also been told by a friend that I’m high maintenance and I said, “no I’m not” But it’s true, I am high maintenance because I’m just plain hard to be around. It’s too much. The heat is too hot. The world is too dirty. The rooms are too ugly. I don’t like small talk. I don’t like a lot. It’s true and I think I love complaining because I’m discontent and I love to stir things up. Just for fun. Just looking for a rise, it’s kind of an an addiction I’m pretty sure.
When BD says “less is more” it’s because that’s what I’ve been telling him for the past ten years. He goes insane with trinkets and I have to keep deconstructing his reality. He loves to collect and I love to give it all away. if it isn’t serving a purpose, it’s got to go. No dust gathering allowed.
Practicality aside, I’ll leave you to figure out what it all means…and now it’s time for the meltdown or the honeymoon…that’s really up to you too…I’m surrendered to the possession.
“It’s not you. It’s me” right.
So I’m taking off my clothes, taking off my face, taking off my mind, taking off my value. I really have nothing more to lose besides a friend or a body.
Isn’t that you? Eclipse. Radhe Shyam.
She is the light of his love and he is the dark one. The moon disappears into the black sun. The black sun turns white whenever she smiles.
I’d say their both shy but it’s not true. This love is an urgent collapse of both bodies. And somewhere inside we get smashed into gutty corpses on the hood of their car. I’ve washed them away twice but they keep coming back.
Misfit stars shooting back and forth, guns drawn. Love makes a break for the shadows. They pass and keep touching and my eyes are on the silver road. Dust in the desert like ash from the flame of combustion. I didn’t mean to burn you, well maybe I did.
Cool running water, standing in the river. My only true love is the sound of her moving. Do you trust me with your life when the sun is blotted from the sky? Ink stains in the paper sky. Tear her open so that she will flow. Stop him before he kills her. I’ve heard it’s called a blue moon when love turns into a passionate God. She loves to sit on his thorny lap and sing her songs of rain.
She loves to promise him everything. Like flower in the spring or summer touches in her golden hair. But still they both hold guns and still they both hold thunder. Louder than the righteous lions roar is when their hearts touch the ending of each other. “It’s forever my darling and I love fighting with you.”
“Stop spreading your legs in my face”
“”Stop groaning every time I rise.”
“Don’t be stupid. None of this is for you. I’m the greedy invisible sidewinder and I like the way she moves…”
Will you ever understand or know me? Will you ever break my sway? Will you ever lay me down and stop me from sucking your horn away?
I doubt it.
Tip of the sun, you think you know. You think it’s about you. You think I’m too easy. But you have no idea what I’m talking about. Rohini is his lover. He chose her first because she’s the sexiest face of the moon he’s ever seen and her body glows red and curves and swerves- and she’s forever giving his mother back to him…
“I will erase you. I will deface you. I will embrace you. I will subdue you. I will screw you until you’re loose and lying upon the throne of the lion.” This is what she said to him during the eclipse. It wasn’t me ok?
Back to back and eye to eye. Face to face don’t say goodbye. But you’ll leave and the shining will return and everyone will think I’m either being a nice girl now or I just went home.
You don’t know who you’re taking to. The holiest of the holy have no morals at all. I’m just telling you what I heard. The holiest of the holy fuck in the sky all day and that’s how night is born. I bet you don’t know that. And you’ve got your book of rules and your condoms and chastity belt. Of course, we don’t want any babies or diseases
while we’re busy getting what’s ours do we?
I think I’ve gone too far this time. I was told that this time I know too much. Every night I dream I’m levitating and sometimes I see a headless woman with no feet and a long white gown on floating down the empty street in front of me.
I think she’s the moon and she’s looking for him. Remember he’s only a head and she is his body.
And the lightbulbs seem to have shorter lives these days because nobody listens and is looking for me somewhere else. It’s not a charity case. It’s not a court case. It’s not a date. You belong to me. I ate the sun. I sunk the sea. He is my refuge. He is my tree.
I am the virgin in the whorehouse ok?
It’s not my fault. I’ve been consumed.
Black mountain in the twilight valley
the moon sat on his peak
his hidden sun was burning
her life fire into places
we always took for granted
like the way she rocked him open
or the way he held her still….
What I’m trying to say is that,
the river winds seductively through the mountain. She isn’t linear. She isn’t dry and frigid. She moves through him and is never static. The mountain holds her tightly because he’s thirsty and she bares his life. The sun shines upon the water, the peaks and the trees. The wind of the word blows through the valleys they create.
When the new day comes you will see the child who stands inside their secret fire. When the new day comes you will hear the howling of the bloody moon giving birth to form. Horns or halos, a goat or an owl- it doesn’t matter when we bite the dust. I’m looking at you through your very own clouds sucking your face away. So don’t blame me if you don’t like what I see.
It’s all just talk. I’m only a mannequin in a store window who somebody forgot to dress. You can’t buy what I’m not wearing so don’t worry.
Sexy sexy snake hissing in the hole. I know what you want. Sexy sexy snake infinite and whole. I love you in loops and tight places. Just don’t second guess my language. Don’t burn me again on the stake. My hair was flaming red back then and my name was Sarah from the bible…
I remember when my baby died and they thought I did it. Don’t say goodbye again ok?
I’ll be good this time.