Transmutation, the reversal of gravity


Everything changes, faces fade away and our words come back to haunt us. Words like love and forever. I’ve heard it all and watched most everyone sink into obscurity. It’s a slow boil. Time passes and gravity takes hold of even the once lightest heart. There is no deal making, no compromising in time. No way to be free without fighting for freedom. Because it’s a trap. This recycling dilemma of the ancestors. Most humans fail at getting out, from the swamp. We just die to this body momentarily, face our self generated demons in the bardo and soon pop back out again, somewhere. Maybe earth, maybe human, maybe not. But it’s not easier next time, all is forgotten. So there is the starting over of suffering once again. The karmic hooks bore a little deeper, the neurosis and fear a bit more prolific and we slowly become another version of what we were before. Minus the good karma we wasted, plus the deeper grooves we created, and hopefully a good deed here and there will get us out of a couple tight places. Why is everybody in denial of what this is? It’s such a horrifying nightmare what I see going on with everyone all around me. The giving up, the bargaining, the weakness. There is so much at stake with our short time here on earth why would you want to waste it imagining family and friends, ownership and titles? Death is coming very soon and before you get to that moment of no more breath you’re likely to suffer immensely in body mind and soul because of what you knew and didn’t do, because of the time wasted in insecurity and fear. Because of laziness, ignorance and greed. Because you wanted power, to be somebody. And even if you got these things, they don’t matter now because you’re dying and since you didn’t find a way to face death before death, since you didn’t “die daily” and I mean really- you’re now entering a situation left to chance with no practice at all. And that’s a big risk to take considering it’s the one and only test of all you’ve ever done. How you exit this stage of role playing and attachment to body, thoughts and possessions. I’m just saying, everyone fades. When people don’t get the power or whatever they want from me they disappear and years later reemerge barely recognizable. Pulled hard by the demons of gravity and chaos. Their faces hardened, their bodies swollen, their eyes dull, their purpose forgotten. The righteous fire diminished. All for what? Comfort? Because you thought you could get out of facing your shit? It eats you if you don’t eat it. This is alchemy, eating your shit. Digesting your poison, not taking in and making more, but stopping and letting it rise and circulate, transmuting the poisonous shit into the nectar of the gods. Becoming who you are instead of prolonging the role playing. You’re only copying your mother, missing your father, destroying your children’s future by making them into you. Because you have no choice but to become your ancestors. It is their blood that fills you and programs you. There must be a shift into the deep understanding of what this place is and requires for true fulfillment. There must be an understanding of the game if you hope to be victorious. It is a game you’re caught in, fully invested and unaware of the truth you must embody. The truth is in the shit. Take a good look at what you’re working with. Do something about it. Stop trying to get something to end your pain and confusion, it’s pitiful. You’re better than that. Get out of the human baby creating drama and move through your own body scanning as if you were the eyes of the sun. Shining light into all dark and forgotten places. Why are you settling for monotony and inertia? It is your choice. You have a choice. Get your priorities straight. Take a deep look into your sad lonely eyes and tell me what you see. Why won’t you save the right person- yourself. You are useless to any endeavor if you can’t heal your own deepest wounds. But for this to happen the poison needs to rise. It’s an equation and it’s a delicate issue of transformation and re-creation. Like Buddha said, “If you don’t like the effect, change the cause.” You sell yourself to this place like a worn out whore. Why? One reason is because you’re surrounded by ignorance and ignorance only encourages the same violent dull result. We need the violence that brightens. The wrathful action that cleanses all impurities and stops the clock from dragging you down. Lift up your face, stop sagging. Change your posture in the deepest way. There is a way out. But like they say, “You need to want this for yourself more than I want it for you.” So I can do and say nothing but watch you fade away, because somehow you want to. Because deep inside you just won’t open your eyes to the light that you come from. Because you still think there is something on earth that will complete you. A house, a job, a child, the dream of name and fame. Nothing will complete you but your own poison transmuted and churned into the soma that will transform you into the eternal golden light goddess or god that you truly actually are. There are no short cuts. Only direct confrontation and decisive action. Results only result from the wrathful, relentless cutting away of the self sabotaging delusions we are bound in. We must be free from the heavy confusion of samsara to enter the clarity of the light of nirvana. And I mean usefulness, not bliss. I mean we must become the meaning of our own existence, not the other way around. Set yourself up for the victory. Stop being a loser. It’s an equation. It’s God’s will. Transmutation, the reversal of gravity. Sharada Devi


20 thoughts on “Transmutation, the reversal of gravity”

  1. I think I’m going to hell…not just a stint in the bardo to face my demons…but HELL…TO BURN IN ETERNAL TORMENT….FOREVER!!!! I know I always say the same shit…because I’m afraid and I know you’re right. I can’t even read the blog with clarity due to my fear and guilt. I have justified my lack of self worth based on my income being less than I would like by telling myself, “some people want money to relax and to have peace of mind”…and because I know you’re right and I’ve failed all the chances I’ve been given I attack you, like I am now, to get the ugliness of this fear out of myself and put it on you. Even though nobody makes me read this blog and you do it all for free and many readers may not go to hell but come back as humans or kittens or something. But because I’m now addicted to violent gay porn and hate myself and all who have ever loved me beyond words I project it onto you. I’m pretty much the perfect example of a swollen, pitiful sick sick loser. Then, because the truth hurts like hell, I find you very irritating. I know I’m a sociopathic mental case with a lust for POWER…you’re not wrong…my fear of homelessness because I have no faith at all is only buying into it…the lie I keep living, but that’s just crazy…and it’s too late for me because I am a paralyzed cripple out of choice, like you said…you have to be healthy to volunteer to be homeless…and I’m not, mentally physically or emotionally. All is lost because that’s also an addiction of mine, self defeating behavior and confession of sin. I read on the application for the Buddhist 3 year retreat that I would have to be healthy…so…I guess I’m not gonna be sleeping sitting up anytime soon…haha.
    Thanks for everything you tried to help me with. And thanks for your tolerance and endless compassion. It’s heartbreaking really. If I had a heart I mean. Haha

  2. Like a true sociopath i never own anything…I’m a very good liberal…ass licker. Wasting my time and yours.
    Sorry I have no life. Sorry I’m crazy.

  3. And could you post some pictures…like of the inside and outside of your house…perhaps of the contents of your drawers and purse…like just dump the contents out onto the hood of your car and take a picture of it…or of the inside of that mysterious box…that would be great…yeah…

    thanks…I have nothing else.

  4. I take that last one back…I’m sorry I wrote that…I’m dying…the medication that I have to take now is making me dizzy and gives me double vision…I know that you would never help me if you struck it rich because you’re somewhat evil and you hold grudges and you hate me…but if I ever became wealthy I would give you enough to be very comfortable…and you would thank me and be nice to me and blah blah blah…but I would always know that it would never be reciprocated…I’d never see or hear from you again if you suddenly came into wealth…you’d just vanish…

    1. I didn’t post the last 3- they were too idiotic- sorry. I post these because you just happen to be the perfect example- what I wrote about- so thanks for the sacrifice
      and contribution. Too bad you insist on going to hell upon death- even though you already pretty much live there…creating with every choice…I mean the new hell will be more intense so you can purify with the rest of the demons…it all works out eventually. Time purifies all, even you my lost friend. It’s your choice. All the power is yours.

    2. PS- you insisted on surgery. We warned you.
      God isn’t money. Money isn’t love. You won’t stay safe or feel peace in any of these approaches- although you’ll spend a lifetime justifying and attacking- it does no good.
      Does nothing for you. Doesn’t help abusing me either or calling rimpoche “an asshole”
      for not acknowledging you or for degrading Neem Karoli Baba- this is dangerous karmic territory- beyond all the rest of your shit- a typical day in your head though I know-
      These fucked up grooves. The addiction to taboo poison/ it’s super childish and a very bad idea. Don’t you get bored hurting yourself and others? Stalking with no hope for any connection to anyone/ EVER?
      Why hate yourself so much? Life is hard enough…but I know you don’t hear me…and yet who else do you have to remind you?
      Only me. I’m not stupid…

  5. so are you saying that being in hell for a while can purify…and if so…can one eventually leave hell because of this purification? I honestly don’t feel like I deserve to go there…I’ve done some fucked up shit when I was young…but I regret it all…and now I’m just crazy…and lonely…and bored and isolated…and I’m mostly very nice and generous and kind…not perfectly all the time to everyone…because usually they’re not kind to me and I’m vengeful…but I dont hurt people for the most part…eternal hell would be a ridiculous punishment for me…and people don’t all get the same advantages…some people are given great parents…they’re loved and nurtured appropriately…they’re good looking…they have good luck…they’re smart…they’re healthy…they’re humble and not egotistical…naturally…and the world is very kind to them…other people get abusive violent drug addicted parents…theyre born into poverty…they’re surrounded by negative influences and negative peer pressure…they breath bad air…they’re surrounded by unhappy crazy people…they make bad decisions when they’re young and stupid that affect them for the rest of their lives…they cant sit on the floor for hours and hours because their spine is deformed…they don’t have good sense…they become addicted and impulsive and can’t sit and just be…they destroy their bodies by becoming addicted to exercise because they hate how they look…they lose money trying to invest to become rich because they don’t know what they’re doing and neither does anybody around them…their parents are mentally ill and old and unrelatable…amd this all snowballs and accelerates…downward…amd time passes…and it gets harder…and you’re stuck…you can’t progress…you’re in pain…you cant remember things as easily as you could when you were 25…blah blah blah…so down the hole you go…there’s nowhere left to go…fuck the new age nonsense…fuck letting life kill you slowly…fuck all the breeders and their willful blindness to the cruelty they impose…fuck it all…fuck it…with love…the end…cruel friend…

    1. Its all due to karma- and what we do with the circumstances we’re given. How we react is our choice and our blessing or curse. Consciousness changes hell into heaven. You know all these things- you act as if we didn’t talk about it all again and again. You know better. And you can’t stop the self destructive, self pitying, self fulfilling
      prophecy – and it’s about your mind- and the evil looping- and this is all about the darkness of your father and his karma that is now yours and you’re adding to the pain but that’s your choice. As hard as life may be, it’s your responsibility to create something new with that darkness. You DO have the power energetically and the intelligence/ but the tamasic filth you circulate in has a created a prison so dense you need divine intervention- and you need to make that stand and fearlessly face and release these demons that possesss you and devour your greatest intention with relentless courage and mindless trust. It’s the truth, your mind is not in a good place to help you at this point- fear is your God and that’s not coming from wisdom or compassion. Wisdom that only you can enter and see- and compassion that only you can hug kiss the little boy and actually mean it. You know this. You continue to live in fantasy slowly self destructing. Nothing is perfect. No health, no body, no bank. Forget the details of the pain and start digging out- get the spiritual support and be thankful for whoever has mercy upon you and will listen. Then follow the guidance and stop being so cruel to yourself and obsessing over your problems. It will never stop the suffering. You’re addicted to the suffering like a person who slices themselves with razors.
      But at a certain point you must become bigger than this deep habit and expand your horizons beyond body or money- open your heart and be the brave love that I know you are. ☀️❤️

  6. is valid…you never answer anything I send there…today you’re the twin flame runner…I’m going to win it all one day…I’m going to win everything…Ill help you til i go down the waterfall into the white rainbow…

    sometimes we live no particular way but our own….


    1. Thank you! Our own way, yes that’s the truth. It’s the eyes of who we think are the “other’s” that confuse us everytime though…

  7. I love this blog post, Sharadadevi. THIS IS IT. GET IT RIGHT NOW. I GET IT. The more i practice (morning devotionals/prayer/meditation/chanting) and wearing my beads (reminder all day long), the stronger I feel I am getting (about death….) DAILY. I have dropped toxic friends. Not in a mean way, but I only have time for what’s real. Not the non stop f’ing chit chat about the dramatic STORIES that never change in their lives. I am a good friend, but first to myself…..I came into this world ALONE and I am going to leave this place ALONE (even if people are hovering around me…they won’t be going into that big dark (or LIGHT) abyss with me as I go… IT’s a PERSONAL journey, isn’t it? I really love having less people in my life. Fnmily does not get it….WHY DO YOU LIVE ALL THE WAY OVER IN CALIFORNIA WHEN THE REST OF US ARE HERE IN NEW ENGLAND? I broke away after my Navy days…cut those ties. I still love them as humans and because we share the connection of growing up together in a very erratic dysfunctional environment…we get the mess. HOWEVER, they are still SUPER stuck and never change ANYTHING. I see marriages that are just existing because neither knows what else to do and/or cling to the security of heaps of money they don’t want to lose in some divorce battle. And “what will their kids think?” I say fuck em all….DO what fills your heart…don’t be afraid. One brother owns two businesses and NEVER goes home. The other brother worked his ass off for 45 years in a job he was not that keen on….now he’s retired and does not know what to do with himself almost at age 70…his wife walks all over his ass (I want to kick the shit out of her…but I know it’s NOT MY BUSINESS). I want to slap them…THEY THINK I”M THE WEIRD ONE. NO kids, abortion, divorce, no marriage after, always have my own place (WHY DON’T YOU TWO LIVE TOGETHER???)(I know I could, but for now I choose not to) ….because I KNOW WHO I AM and what works for me. I am also not indebted to ANYONE. Dad wanted to pay off my condo that I rent on the coast. Wants to pay for my trips east, buy me a new car. NO WAY! I don’t need ANYONE else’s money. If I have to live in a van, I would do that before I would take anything. PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY. 100 percent. And that is what it is all about when it comes to DEATH. I am responsible for this life and HOW I live it. BOTTOM LINE. I am responsible for my DEATH….and what leads up to it….whether I get struck by a bus, or die in some horrific plane crash or get some disease. I will take charge. My practice is preparing me. I talk to GOd the minute I wake up. We are best friends. I still enjoy worldly things, but I refused to get “hooked on comfort.” My young downstairs neighbor (27) was hit n run by a drunk driver right in front of our house. She is paralyzed. After two years of fighting in court and law suits, she has received NOTHING. Life is so fucking unfair. For two years I have been going downstairs to help her. The community here is amazing and so many have come together to help her. But…EVERY DAY I SEE HER. SHE may never walk again. YUP…that could happen to ANYONE of us. It’s a fucking WAKE UP call. She is a trooper though…stays focused. Her attitude is amazing. Never gives up hope and works hard everyday just to live. I have given her some books on Buddhism and shared chanting with her. She is open. LIFE CAN BE A BAG OF SHIT….but it’s what you do with that SHIT. GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER, TAKE THE BLINDERS OFF – because we ARE ALL GOING DOWN. WE DO NOT KNOW WHEN. I thank the lord above (and all the gurus who have led to) for finding you two to help guide us… in GETTING REAL. Breaking down that ancestral BULLSHIT. I am a SPIRITUAL WARRIOR CUTTING THE TIES THAT BIND. I AM VICTORIOUS. TOTAL TRANSMUTATION. MY physical body may be held to this earth by Gravity…but MY HEART/SOUL/MIND are staying connected to what is BEYOND the existence. LOVE LOVE THIS BLOG. Thanks Sharada Devi!!!! Keep em coming !!!!

    1. Chandra Ma, Mother Moonlight, yes you know what you’re doing, with it all- everything you’ve said 100% on target! Happy to hear your words of unrelenting wisdom and ruthless courage- tireless devotion and inspiring compassion.
      I hope these words, and I pray these words reach many others I know who do not have your courage or clarity but maybe they will now.
      Open their eyes by the light of your moon mother love! Jai Ma❤️❤️❤️

  8. This is heinous- this sticky situation. At least my heart hurts, you know- at least it isn’t totally shit and unreachable, even if only the beginning. But transformation? Like you said, isnt self-pity, but true enduring. Strength and using the hurt to shine. My light for God and what I really want, to say ☀️Sharada Devi. You’ve got a friend in me, despite all the gravity.

    1. Not one’s heart is shit. Filled maybe but not made up of. Shine by the pain of love-
      or a broken real life heart you mean?
      Shining like the sun…for me?
      You are ruthless. I see the light.

  9. Fuck it. Friends, me, birthday candles, all of it in the black river. That has to flow, no matter which way you look. 🍷🍷❣️🖤.
    Face of God is enduring. One step is all I can take. Giving up the other one, because tired of stepping back☀️🔥🙏🏻
    Thank you, Sharada Devi and Bhagavan Das.

    1. The wine of blood and black entangled hearts of flesh. The river of drunken bodies,
      Light. The ecstasy of birth. One more bite
      on the neck of God. One more drop of life
      for your death. It takes time, I told you.
      The black deep dark place opens where the two rivers meet. Drinking everything like nothing will ever exist again. Because it’s
      almost the day you were born and death seeps
      as that perfect untouched love from these eyes that breath yours. Immaculate brothel,
      the temple of virgins, jesus on high. It’s everywhere, remember? All of it. Godly. This is about birthday smiles that tell secrets…

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