Transmutation Circle


Life is made of magical components. Alchemy, tantra, it’s all the same calling. Moving from impure perception to pure perception. Metamorphosis- Born in one state and delivered to another state. Seeing the truth- Time alone will break you down, yes. But a magician, an alchemist or a true yogi (all the same person) is a transforming vessel of light constantly. A vortex pulling all dark matter toward her/him to initiate an eventual resurrection. Before resurrection comes the artistry. Even the sacrifices are beautiful, the decay, the suffering. If the final product, which is not only you but everything you’ve ever had contact with- is reborn into another level of itself. You can say this is a refinement, a scouring- something made to blaze its inherent light. This is exactly what human life is for. That we gain the awareness to take the reigns and do the work. Alchemists call it the Great Work. Turning darkness into light. Really just allowing the space to remember. To create space we need to create clarity. This is the blackening where things need to be purged. If involves rotting and decay. There needs to be awareness/ this changes the results. Because life itself will rot you. But when the magical power of awareness/devotion are applied to this process- a true human being will be the result. Which is a being of incomparable creativity and emotional power. There is nothing more majestic than a human who accomplishes the goal of our human existence. So please don’t let life blunt you and make you dull. Turn yourself toward the sun. Fill yourself with the moon. Be the silver raging river that becomes the silver raging sky.
The transmutation circle is the place you go both literally and metaphorically. Where awareness occurs – comprehension, deconstruction and then reconstruction. There will be a rebound effect. That is why the circle must be drawn. Moving through time and space creates a line. Standing in one place and spiraling creates a circle. That is the butterfly effect. So our actions are potent forces we do not fully comprehend. If we did, we would change a lot that we are doing and are not doing. Become the one who sees butterflies everywhere inside of everything and then become the artist who just has to set them free. Nothing else matters. You will get what you want that is guaranteed. So what’s going on? Everyone is in a controlled shambles and doing nothing with it. To really be inside the transmutation circle you must fall deep and you must rise high. Seeing everywhere only you. Let yourself out. Let yourself go. Be as wild as that peace was meant to be.
Sharada Devi

16 thoughts on “Transmutation Circle”

  1. I feel drained, but inspired. That is a painful place, that forces new things. I think if there weren’t beauty, I wouldn’t give myself- not really. Unfortunately that means being beautiful to inspire others, and that is hard. But hey, here I am! Smiling, shining, going nowhere.

    1. Why is it hard being beautiful?
      If you would just be you…sounds like just a thought that you aren’t beautiful already??? And the question is, why not?

  2. I hit a wall the other day, figuratively.

    The feeling that all this confinement holds the capacity for personal transformation
    has been so strong. The willingness to comply is tangible. There is nothing but time in which to put everything into practice – what is needed to create that change.
    But suddenly, there was this outpouring of emotional despair.

    A melting, crying, helplessness. And then a standstill of trying to understand why.
    You say thoughts are solid, and I found myself on one hand trying to dispel them
    and on the other hand trying to burrow through.
    Trying to create a focal point. A bindu to become . Within.

    I have been riding an old bike around and around the property where I live.
    Two wheels, like 8’s putting me in a circular motion.
    I thought of myself as riding in a figure 8 ,
    but realized that without altering the sweep of direction on the circle back, I was merely looping.
    To complete the configuration, I needed to create a change in perspective.
    There also needed to be a crossroads point. A bindu, touched within the center to complete the connection.

    Solid thoughts, I guess , can become pliant. If we do not allow ourselves to become lost within them. If we don’t let the thought become an emotional dead weigh, that keeps us sinking for days. I found myself judging myself in relation to others. An old habit that hasn’t surfaced in a long while – pitting my limitations against the successes or accomplishments of others.
    Not at all spacious creating behavior .

    I was born in one state and then delivered to another state. Literally .
    Intentionally sent elsewhere, in utero and returned a fortnight later.
    I guess my karma needed that astrological experience to plot it’s course.

    I recently dreamed of Jesus and the resurrected form. In my dream, there was no need to roll away the stone. The rebirth was comprised of energy and light. A rainbow body of reassembled particles through psychic transportation. Very beautiful to behold.
    Mary magdalene was the only one pure enough to witness the miraculous.

    I also dreamed of being in what was expected to be a perfect place, somewhere that i had longed to be. But everywhere i stepped, there were hissing snakes.

    My mind is currently insane. In a soft panic. I think that there is a bit of madness that
    is getting into the places where I should not let me go.

    i may not be making sense. And am feeling very spacey. Not making spaciousness in the ways that you are suggesting.

    i have also been taking walks, taking photos of flowers. Intentionally not wearing my closeup glasses. Shooting blindly and then beholding the results.

    I look at the outer container of me – that me that the world sees.
    through my eyes , looking outward – the vision is all butterflies…

    This sounds like a lot of random words strung together on this page, trying to make sense. Not at all poetic. But just wanting to make contact.

    Some days, it’s simply the sangha that holds the most valuable jewel.

    1. It seems you have become very mental throughout your life as a way to avoid pain.

      Thinking about things long enough won’t take away the pain. Even if it makes sense that it should. You’re driving yourself insane with this habit.

      And then judging that you’re not “making space” is such a ridiculous double bind.
      You ride that bike around thinking too much because it’s all you have.

      You’re removed from your physical body and it’s possibly due to relationships with others. Which you can’t solve anytime soon.

      It’s very hard for me to say anything without making things worse. This is why direct experience is life giving.

      Reanimating corpses is hell. Like in the bardo, butterflies become vicious vampires
      very quickly. If the mind isn’t trained and not just theoretically, of course you’ll be up and down. Of course you’ll suffer and vacillate.

      This is a narrow path. A treacherous edge.
      Not a mental circus of pain and glory – but a way that puts the corpses back in their graves for good.

      You need help. That’s the bottom line.
      Just look at how long these patterns have gone on- what will change them? You being
      “Stronger this time.” ???

      It’s crazy. That’s just self abuse. You judge yourself and are your worst enemy. Then you mentally compare and glorify yourself only to fall even further during your next judgement. It’s certainly a loop you’re right. So you are seeing that…but what’s next?

    2. Dear Radhe,
      I think we all, at times, compare ourselves with others. And most of us have feelings of unworthiness. And that is okay. As long as we don’t allow it to stay too long. I can get caught in that awful net of “thinking too much.” For me, it’s my journal which allows me a safe outlet. I can cry while I am writing/typing, laugh, get angry. I type usually because it is faster. Journaling soon after my morning devotionals/meditation – and then other times after a disturbing phone call or a worry, or whatever. I swear, it really helps. It feels like I am talking to a therapist…actually…it’s my conversation/bitch session with God. It’s one great way of releasing…..and getting clarity.
      Love to you flower child…

  3. Thoughts are the pain.
    A rapid fire combination that comes like an automatic wave felt both physically and emotionally.
    I felt purged last night, after speaking it out loud. Allowing myself to be vulnerable here.
    Not hiding behind solid words. Not pretending.
    I began riding the bike with the best intention of bringing more physical balance
    into my days like you had suggested.
    To balance out the mind and body.
    -My mind is currently insane. In a soft panic- was in response to your words. Because it seemed possible.
    You say that I am my own worst enemy, That idea in and of itself creates pain.
    That I would be considered an enemy at all. Or why ?
    I could have remained silent, but I didn’t. Not have taken a risk of being viewed as less.
    There is no conscious act of self abuse. Quite the contrary.
    I probably shouldn’t have mentioned any of this this
    But what transmutation comes from that ?

    Everybody seems so happy
    Everybody seems so content
    Everybody is baking bread. But I can’t eat wheat.

    1. That’s funny about the bread.

      Everyone is their own worst enemy. Don’t pretend you haven’t heard that before.

      “That I would be considered an enemy at all.” Seriously? Who do you think is causing you all this pain? YOU are. It’s the mind.
      All these words are as if I haven’t said already it. As if you have to make it all personal. You are not different than there’s of the suffering humans. The Buddha said it. Why is this new to you?

      Self pity isnt your friend. “They are all happy eating bread.” It’s up to you to take a stand once you see the light and stop getting caught in the same old traps.

      1. That’s the thing. it doesn’t feel like self pity. Even though it meets the criteria .
        More like, – I was minding my own business on the road to perfection and
        whoops, – I tripped and fell into an invisible hole… again.

        I do hear exactly what you are saying… again.

        I’m glad you thought it was funny,
        guess it means that I am starting to climb back out of the hole.

        1. I know. I know what you mean. I encounter the same problems. Feels more like exasperated weariness maybe, that comes and goes a lot like waves and takes skill to not be swallowed. I don’t think it’s ever going to end it’s just the way it is here.

          However, things people and circumstances can help. Do your best and when the time is right your prayers will be answered one by one, – as BD always said, “you don’t have any problems-you just need more faith in god.” That is doable.

  4. Yes. Things are going well– then the bummer hits. And it is powerful. When I feel trapped by scary thoughts, by limiting thoughts, by perplexing thoughts, by terror, despair, rage — those thoughts/feelings that seem to have tremendous power over me, I am in their power. They HAVE ME. But who is the “I” in me that is aware of all this? Who is this happening to? When I realise I am aware of them, and that the “I” that IS aware of them has a lot more power than the “I” that didn’t know that power that is already there to be realised, then there is an automatic distance realised between this sort of power-awareness and the freak-out. If “I” wasn’t there to realise that there is a part of me that was aware of all that is happening within my mind, then there would be no awareness at all.
    It’s happening though, that is for sure, and if one is completely overwhelmed with no sense that there is escape, then it feels — in that time period that it’s happening — that because it’s here happening there is no escape somehow . Y

    Look, your story is every bit your own as mine is. And I never want to assume anything. Whoever “you are” or “I am” is all based on our filters we look through. We share and don’t share the contents of our stories as is our freedom to do just that, and at any given time does this choice become available. The truth’ll out — always does — and that’s what both relieves us AND freaks us. Because we are separate frigging egos trying to manage, and we all have boundaries in this boundaryless world. 🌎. And we are all sharing and proving and asserting and helping and getting helped and that is all just always happening. Like little kids running really hard to keep up with other little kids while the parents are inside minding the store. And it’s all one place sometimes. We are the products of all the ages we have lived. Just in this lifetime alone.

    When there settles this feeling of calm in the midst of madness there is a part of one that is suspicious of this. The part that says “ah, dissociation. You’re mind/body is delivering compensatory measures in order to protect from this onslaught, this shock to the system.” Or something like that. Whatever. The point is to keep the mind/body/heart-mind and recognise that it is enough of itself. You are enough. ❤ And the validity of the perceptions of my reality is self-evident. How one is feeling given how one knows that this too shall pass. Everything, as we know, passes.
    It matters only relatively about all the theories and beliefs surrounding the particular state of being one is experiencing. And as I talk to myself, I mark my own words: I’m enough too. I’m enough HERE and I’m enough to allow expansion, growth, and transmutation. But I’m here now, so I may as well love what’s here now.

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