I love thunderstorms -and when it rains in the summer- like really loud thunderstorms- when it sounds like the world might end- and lightening crashes -and you don’t know where- and everything stays quiet, hiding and waiting for the end of her majestic wrath.
That’s why I get mad. When I get ignored. And all he says is “ok.” and “sorry” and stays really quiet and peaceful -and I told him he’s insincere because I’m just a storm and he’s waiting for it to end- for me just to blow over- with the least amount of effort and participation. I guess he thinks he’s some kind of zen master- (you know how aikido works)- but I think he’s just not very invested in the glory of her sudden strikes and earth shattering awakenings. If you’re not ready, don’t be afraid- just don’t go outside…
I really hate to admit this, but I’m not into peace at all. It’s like a cardboard box- sure you can fill it up, tape it shut, but eventually it’s going to collapse- so I say, why wait? Let’s get this thing going now. I’m always ready for the coming of the lord..and anarchy is a restless and righteous body to behold. And it’s no use trying to empty those clouds on your own…you’re going to need someone to blame for the uprise- otherwise, there’s nowhere for the lightening to strike!
So when I say “willing participant” I mean it. But not one who always apologizes -because that’s too placid- we need someone fully invested in the building of a really viable armageddon- one that we know will break this land into bits and pieces- and we’ll just float around on the end of the world smiling and fulfilled. Because nothing is meaningful until we destroy it. Hahahahahahah!!!
That’s all I can really commit to. The end of me. The only one who is forever mine will break the shaft in two. Will stomp out the flame. Will flatten the embers. Will walk through my black fire and annihilate time. Stollen by me, his hostage and only survivor.- It’s a cut through the
tunnel, a hole in the gate, a fitful unravel, the last breath in the throat….it’s all we can do to pass the seconds here-
TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK
the sound of that clock ticking infuriates me -and I’m about to strike or pounce- break all the windows, tear down the doors…turn everything upside down. I’ll leave you dangling from your ankles until you put out!
I need to GET OUT OF HERE. Basically.
So don’t try to make me get peaceful because it won’t work- and all I will do is upset you -and then you’re going to hate me really bad -and then YOU won’t be peaceful anymore (like you had previously thought you were)
Do you see now? The game works in MY favor NOT HIS -and so I’m like winning everything thats still left. This “ok and I’m sorry” is a total selfish lie- just trying to keep yourself safe in the game, less collateral- no telling who or what you could lose right? WRONG. It’s taken. You just don’t want to PUT OUT do you? Lazy lazy lazy, I give it ALL to you and you say “sorry” and I say “NO WAY” we’re getting it UP- yes we are. You WILL PUT OUT! Hahahahahahaha!
hallelujah! come and get me!
So my interpretation of your acts of kindness and tolerance and forgiveness of my primal rage
is that you just:
1) don’t give a fuck about me
2) you’re a lazy coward
3) you’re holding something really tight- and it’s called – expectation
4) you abhor violence and are a vegan
5) you read too many books about how to get and stay happy
6) you invest in the future
7) you’re a self righteous bible thumper
8) the new age flew up your ass and you just can’t get it out
9) you met someone else
10) you’re totally gay
So if you can answer any of those with a yes, stop pretending to care. And I don’t care if you think I’m obsessed with myself. Any good storm needs preparation. I’m high maintenance and my ego is the biggest thing between my thighs of fun and fury -and you’re just boring and jealous that I’ve got something to say and honestly, you really don’t. And you’re just uncomfortable because I’m inappropriate- and you just don’t like me because I’m not a man and I took you down anyway (that’s a big one believe me) -and you’re just a prissy woman who can’t change a lightbulb…
and Bhagavan Das is WRONG. I came back from the dead and found him -and I wasn’t f’ing lost- and I’ve got no f’ing bills to pay- and I can handle Walmart – NO PROBLEM-
AND I’M NOT A BUNNY!
And if his little baby mind feels safer making me a little lady bunny, so be it-he’ll pay soon enough- I tell him ALL the time…(like several times a day)
YOUR DAY IS COMING BIG BOY.
And I am disrespectful for effect. And stop being so serious. And everything is funny, And it’s a tragedy we had to meet like this. And we’re going to blow up everything and burn it all to the ground. And we’re going to sit on perfectly shaped mounds of rubble at the end of it all -kissing and holding hands like little human bunnies.
And you can say- fuck you- but don’t ever say you’re sorry. And you can say -no – but don’t ever say ok.
Because we need to thrash until we’re free.
Ok? (just kidding) Hahahahahahaha⚡️❤️⚡️