I love thunderstorms -and when it rains in the summer- like really loud thunderstorms- when it sounds like the world might end- and lightening crashes -and you don’t know where- and everything stays quiet, hiding and waiting for the end of her majestic wrath.

That’s why I get mad. When I get ignored. And all he says is “ok.” and “sorry” and stays really quiet and peaceful -and I told him he’s insincere because I’m just a storm and he’s waiting for it to end- for me just to blow over- with the least amount of effort and participation. I guess he thinks he’s some kind of zen master- (you know how aikido works)- but I think he’s just not very invested in the glory of her sudden strikes and earth shattering awakenings. If you’re not ready, don’t be afraid- just don’t go outside…

I really hate to admit this, but I’m not into peace at all. It’s like a cardboard box- sure you can fill it up, tape it shut, but eventually it’s going to collapse- so I say, why wait? Let’s get this thing going now. I’m always ready for the coming of the lord..and anarchy is a restless and righteous body to behold. And it’s no use trying to empty those clouds on your own…you’re going to need someone to blame for the uprise- otherwise, there’s nowhere for the lightening to strike!

So when I say “willing participant” I mean it. But not one who always apologizes -because that’s too placid- we need someone fully invested in the building of a really viable armageddon- one that we know will break this land into bits and pieces- and we’ll just float around on the end of the world smiling and fulfilled. Because nothing is meaningful until we destroy it. Hahahahahahah!!!

That’s all I can really commit to. The end of me. The only one who is forever mine will break the shaft in two. Will stomp out the flame. Will flatten the embers. Will walk through my black fire and annihilate time. Stollen by me, his hostage and only survivor.- It’s a cut through the
tunnel, a hole in the gate, a fitful unravel, the last breath in the throat….it’s all we can do to pass the seconds here-


the sound of that clock ticking infuriates me -and I’m about to strike or pounce- break all the windows, tear down the doors…turn everything upside down. I’ll leave you dangling from your ankles until you put out!

I need to GET OUT OF HERE. Basically.

So don’t try to make me get peaceful because it won’t work- and all I will do is upset you -and then you’re going to hate me really bad -and then YOU won’t be peaceful anymore (like you had previously thought you were)
Do you see now? The game works in MY favor NOT HIS -and so I’m like winning everything thats still left. This “ok and I’m sorry” is a total selfish lie- just trying to keep yourself safe in the game, less collateral- no telling who or what you could lose right? WRONG. It’s taken. You just don’t want to PUT OUT do you? Lazy lazy lazy, I give it ALL to you and you say “sorry” and I say “NO WAY” we’re getting it UP- yes we are. You WILL PUT OUT! Hahahahahahaha!

hallelujah! come and get me!

So my interpretation of your acts of kindness and tolerance and forgiveness of my primal rage
is that you just:
1) don’t give a fuck about me
2) you’re a lazy coward
3) you’re holding something really tight- and it’s called – expectation
4) you abhor violence and are a vegan
5) you read too many books about how to get and stay happy
6) you invest in the future
7) you’re a self righteous bible thumper
8) the new age flew up your ass and you just can’t get it out
9) you met someone else
10) you’re totally gay

So if you can answer any of those with a yes, stop pretending to care. And I don’t care if you think I’m obsessed with myself. Any good storm needs preparation. I’m high maintenance and my ego is the biggest thing between my thighs of fun and fury -and you’re just boring and jealous that I’ve got something to say and honestly, you really don’t. And you’re just uncomfortable because I’m inappropriate- and you just don’t like me because I’m not a man and I took you down anyway (that’s a big one believe me) -and you’re just a prissy woman who can’t change a lightbulb…

and Bhagavan Das is WRONG. I came back from the dead and found him -and I wasn’t f’ing lost- and I’ve got no f’ing bills to pay- and I can handle Walmart – NO PROBLEM-


And if his little baby mind feels safer making me a little lady bunny, so be it-he’ll pay soon enough- I tell him ALL the time…(like several times a day)


And I am disrespectful for effect. And stop being so serious. And everything is funny, And it’s a tragedy we had to meet like this. And we’re going to blow up everything and burn it all to the ground. And we’re going to sit on perfectly shaped mounds of rubble at the end of it all -kissing and holding hands like little human bunnies.

And you can say- fuck you- but don’t ever say you’re sorry. And you can say -no – but don’t ever say ok.

Because we need to thrash until we’re free.
Ok? (just kidding) Hahahahahahaha⚡️❤️⚡️
sharada devi

43 thoughts on “TICK TOCK”

  1. One night a long time ago, I was in the Bahamas at the Shivananda Ashram for an all night chant.
    It was shivaratri ( the night of Shiva ) All night long we chanted Om Namah Shivaya over and over again. I could hear Mother Kali saying ” I don’t know if you really mean it, try it again” So deeper into the pain I went, down into the dark heart hole to find the light. My body started shaking and rolling and my voice got stronger till the first dawn light appeared. I was howling, barking like a mad dog Shiva Shiva Shiva.
    The Hindu priest came in to do the last puja and offered the flowers to the Shiva Lingham. I walked out of the temple and headed for the beach to make my Kali Yantra in the sand. I have been doing this since leaving India in 1971, I find a sharp sea shell and start to draw her sacred Yoni Triangle in the sand five times. Then I draw three circles around it. Then the eight lotus petals, then the four gates on the sides. Then at the last I reach down to center of the Yoni and put in the Bindu ( The Hole ) with her seed mantra KREEM and her favorite flower the red hibbicus. Then I walk around her temple in the sand chanting her mantra Om kreem kreem kreem hum hum hreem hreem dakshinay kalikay kreem kreem kreem hum hum hreem hreem swaha. Now I bow to HER in the sand yantra as the ocean waves roll in to take her away and I look up in the sky on my knees and Dark dark clouds of thunder appear and lightning flashes and her she comes in a downpour of rain. And she is here now sitting beside me in the car as we drive through the night on her iphone writing to you. Om Kali Om sri ramakrishna never let me go. Jai MA Bhagavan Das

    1. Bhagavan das, this is as beautiful a wording of “WHAT IS” as anything I have ever heard or read. There is so much that (the EVERYTHING mad dog barking KREEM yoni in the sand part of me ) wants to say, but there is also another part of me (the NOTHING waves washing it all away driving in the car while i-phone writing part of me) that knows it is all totally real happening right now, and totally red bull shit all at the same time but that is what we are given………do what you/we/I will. sometimes you feel like a nut- sometimes you don’t. HARI BOL HARI BOL HARI BOL
      rave on Sharada devi

      1. sounds like a sexual problem to me…

        I’ve got my bunny outfit on, soft floppy ears and all -glitter all over my baby doll eyes- I’ll hop hop hop the night away…dancing like a sweet harmless angel..

        and I will RAVE with a vengeance until
        you bite the dust – my beloved red eyed
        angry black crow- since Kali was your mother who raised you, I think you know this is love right???

    2. When i was growing up
      we had a huge red hibiscus bush growing in the front yard.
      After all the beautiful rose bushes were pulled out by their roots
      to make way for a swimming pool
      the red hibiscus was that only flowering plant that remained.
      i guess kali has been making her presence know
      long before i knew her name


        1. Oh Divine dark Mother of no name
          I humbly bow before you
          Take from me all that is not free.
          If I should stumble and fall
          down into the depths
          I pray that you will
          have mercy on me
          bestow upon this one
          a rope ladder
          so that I might
          climb to the moon
          and forever dwell
          in the radiance
          of pure mother light

          1. How do you just keep getting better and better?! I’m about to kiss you through this iPhone!💋💋💋

  2. I’m sure we can move the earth if everyone thinks about it hard enough. Then we could drive right into the sun.. When she wakes up at 3am ranting and raving I like to join in. It’s her therapy. Because there’s a calm after the storm. The ” Ahhhhhhhh”. Get inside the heart. Honor the Shakti. Honor your mother.

    Obliterate the complacent drones of all knowing – cleaning house for the conscious revolution evolution. We will be refitted for our wings and sent into ourselves – gods waiting room. Do not be lie ve. Just be.

    Some of the deepest meditations I fall into is when I’m trimming flowers.. I often can see you and/or baba talking with me asking questions about my heart. I should probably get out more.. Like the tree gives our bodies air, baba and you fire up my soul.
    Thank you.

    Om mani padme hum

    Destruction is usually always followed by construction.
    External or internal.



        1. NOW THATS FUNNY!
          AND YOU MY FRIEND,
          Are most certainly,
          THE WISEST MAN OF ALL!!!!!
          you’re the one WHO KNOWS.

  3. I would love to see Hurricane Sharada Devi hit a Wal Mart, it would be fascinating to watch! Please make a video of it when you do . I want to see the reactions on people’s faces….it would be priceless ! I have laughed so much about you describing this argument with him, It’s because I feel your pain completely with it! But what Baba said about you sitting in the car beside him , that was so endearing. 😍 God I’m so happy you write this !

    🌹🌹🌹 Stay stormy , it becomes you ❤️

    1. You’re so sweet and soft and adorable
      (am I thinking bunny??)
      and you’re a gifted writer and loyal friend
      and I will love you forever….
      my heart of hearts ☀️🌸

    2. Ha!
      that’s funny.
      Hurricane Sharada Devi
      creating a “priceless” aftermath
      Once she gets through with the place
      she’ll have them giving everything away for free.
      The dazed and confused accountants will be scratching their heads
      i can see the headlines now –
      ” walmart has closed it’s doors forever.
      An unexplained phenomenon has caused all stock in said company crashing.
      Last seen amongst the rubble of the finally defunct chain was a faint whiff of smoke “

  4. This rebellious spirit is so refreshing and exhilarating!
    keep rocking the boat
    i’m not quite wet enough yet.

    we used to spend our summers in the midwest
    us kids were corralled indoors when the rains came
    we would sit in front of a big plate glass window
    watching the lightening flash
    and listen to the thunder crash
    it was amazing!
    like the sky was erupting
    and nothing else mattered.

    personally, i don’t think i can handle walmart
    well at least i have not ventured to try
    i remain a walmart virgin.
    this little lady can not only change a light bulb
    but has a few pretty good plumbing skills up my sleeve
    it’s messy work
    but hey, somebody’s gotta do it.

    i’m sorry for saying sorry
    i promise i won’t do it again

    a salute to all you freedom writers
    keep on thrashing!

    1. You know what’s so amazing- I could sense that from you- this otherworldly kind of purity and I couldn’t put my finger on the source- and NOW you’ve just said it!
      Of course! Thsts it! I feel like I need
      to come put you in a little glass box and
      pray to you for forgiveness☄✨☄

      and we could let people come by and receive darshan and blessings from the world’s last living Walmart Virgin….

      and the glass box is to preserve your
      Soul!!! From us Walmart sluts.

      1. Right.
        You don’t wan to get away

        Where there are more coyotes
        Or something?
        Where the sacred sauce
        Is unspoiled?
        Where are you going?!
        You talk about a One Way Ticket,
        What is it?
        I want to know,

        Sri Sharada Devi

        1. Here’s hoping you don’t

          obviously not because I’m afraid of conflict
          But because you can’t

          Because my heart has known.where
          before I went to grad school, the song
          “I can’t help the feeling, I could blow through the ceiling, if I just turn, and run.”

          Sharada Devi, you
          Are in my heart


          1. I know it’s between you and “no name” you (which I prefer!)
            But it hurt my heart to ponder…

            Before grad school, I went off to Costa Rica (cliche?) for a few months
            And ended up in a shelter in the jungle. The last night, when I decided to come back, I was alone, facing a beautiful cove, at sunset. Heh, I thought, “well this doesn’t mean shit” and followed my heart to my friends!that soon went astray.
            I love you- you will soon go, too
            And you will take all the names with you. Right?
            But I love to hear about it.- nothing makes my heart beat faster than, like I said,
            “turn and run.”

            “If I could be, who you wanted, all the time.”

          2. something about the way you say it is so
            endearing- and do you think I should take
            my names? I was thinking of leaving them…

          1. I MADE IT! its beautiful. the boy across from me was using the crayons so I had to use markers, not my first choice.

  5. Sweet Radhe is a Wal Mart virgin!?!? Wow , that’s saying something right there. I think I need a pic of you to put on my altar beside of “the woman” now! I can see those headlines as well after Hurricane Mama Devi hits, but I don’t think she would stop there ….I can see her , with that unfocused, detached look in her , and a smug grin , setting fire to the rubble and watching it burn till there’s nothing left but one big charred crater . Then she would laugh and say ” go home now, I’ve set you free, and remember this, don’t ever fuck with Kali.” 😘🌪🔥🌺

    1. You truly are entertaining!
      YeS she says she’s a Walmart VirgiN
      and if that’s true, we need to make a documentary, get her into a museum for protection and preservation- something like that-? It’s so hard to believe/ I thought
      Walmart had fucked us all!

      1. Tis true, tis true!!!
        I would not tell a lie!
        When I went down to your Encinitas kirtan and workshop weekend back in august of 2012,
        I stayed with a dear sister- friend who I hadn’t for various reasons, not seen in about 30 years.
        Somehow walmart came up in conversation and I mentioned that I had never been there.
        My fiend’s 14 year old daughter said with a look of extreme shock and disbelief on her face
        “What! She’s never been to walmart! ”
        My friend responded with” I never really thought that She was from this planet ”
        BTW –
        Sharada DID set it all the stores on fire.
        Hence the faint whiff of smoke…
        No museums please,
        I will trust in Vishnu to preserve and protect me.
        ❤️ 🕉 😇

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