thunderbolt of sanctuary

I don’t have a tongue. I cut it off and fed it to the hungry dogs. I sacrificed myself to her hunger long ago as a missing organ pulled from it’s orifice. Gone for good, more blood in the bucket. And she is me, just as a sucking tentacle that reaches into you looking for him. I am Shiva. As her I give rise to his reign. I lie beneath her blackened force, bleached by her trident gaze. Understood, untouched and as timeless as a living stone. I see Shiva, supremely wanton and so I want nothing. A white lily opens… penetration, piercing the skin, deep into her boundless space. He sees up and in and through all that has been outsourced. I am definitely Shiva. I don’t have any holes or protrusions that shed or that leak. I lay spread open and flat, shimmering like the desert sand, a maze of meaning beneath the blazing sun. I don’t have anything that hasn’t been subdued or extracted by her rhythmic movement. Lost in this aimless love is only a flagrant mirage. I never wept when I was cut open. I am Shiva. I am the One who doesn’t split or look or bleed. I am the one who simply sees. She wound me from my timeless sway until I became the king of the cobra, ashes to ashes, smeered into the all seeing diamond eye. I don’t breath this stale air and so you can’t smother me with futile need or a reckless life. My heart is silent and my blood is clear and gone. I am Shiva looking south to where she stands holding my sacred gun. Nothing is black. Everything is blinded by me as her white light of otherworldly madness. She is naked and blue with solid gold hands and feet. Shiva sees her as the root of an ancient tree, as the outline of an edgless sky, as a steep blue mountain, moody and shadowed. I am Shiva, don’t doubt my good luck. I don’t go anywhere. I belong where I am, beneath her.

Perched on the rooftop a dark bird watches every crackle take place in time. Swooping down as if this last time has come by chance. And just like a torch through the night long fog, wings of fire and brimstone consume and become the savior of my plight. Come back, come back and try again. I hope you don’t get stuck in her throttle. Her throat is deeper than it is long, and there is no turning back. Once you enter her sight you cannot ever turn around, you can only go deeper. She is bottomless like the sinking rain that has neither origin or destination. Because nothing is really black you can’t hide from your underside. Shiva does means EYE after all. His erected probing eye becomes her lift that peaks the valleys into the white and red orb of their eternal honeymoon…a frenzy of lunatic chaos churning the night sea of enlightenment.

We did not push back. We didn’t really care…we did not beat our hearts in fury for what we could not find. We did not hold our heads up high when we knew that we forgot. We did not care that we do not know the day or hour of the coming of the lord. Who you are seeing isn’t me, my dark birdlike eyes are watching from behind the setting sun waiting…while the sky is made of looking glass through which me as Shiva sees. You have not seen me. I stand behind her front and turn the pages you can’t see. Beyond the face of her clock or hand, breathing out, just wasting love on the fear of what remains, pretending we have legs to run with. She told me long ago that I can’t move at all- as just a sticky spew of breaking bones, old blue eyes, bald spots and dried up tears.

“Why have you forsaken me?”

I never forgot that I didn’t remember and so I was going, offering my lesser face and my ticking heart to the eraser of a grimmer fate…and so it’s over at the end of this pale world and my searching, tell all love, as what confuses a heavy head, is written upon the pages of who I hold as the passing of time come true. Into her endlessly unfolding arms I am her belonging. And so I have nothing. I am Shiva possessed by God and holding the the eye of the perfect storm.

I am the thunderbolt of sanctuary.

Sharada Devi

24 thoughts on “thunderbolt of sanctuary”

  1. Old man looks out to sea, all is lost and floats on a wave of bliss. No time is ever gone here. The whale is singing, her voice is my heart torn open by your words. Holy, holy, holy, that’s all right the black snake is under the table. She stands naked in the door way, holding the crystal dagger in her hand. She walks like a swan, her blood stained feet dancing on my chest. Blue light comes out of her eyes, over and over again as I swim through the dark waters of her blood looking for the way out, but I only go deeper into the whale. No way out until my voice became the door. Devotion is the key hidden under her pillow. Her crystal blade slicing through the end of time.
    Chop chop in her skull cup we go, what a mess for mom to clean up, she told me to stay out of the kitchen. The flame is her holy name, dig deep and drink of her water that flows like a river between her legs. Thunderbolt lady, One eyed queen, you keep following me so that I remember the only true love is you GURU.
    Vajra sadhu throws the dice…………………… good luck.

    1. I’ve been told you’re just kissing my ass
      because you need me.
      the truth is wise and bends as low as he needs to 👁

  2. Return again and again to the pure source that is Her and She takes us back always no matter the crime and the slaying of killing Her holy body — Vajra diamond mind forgiveness at the highest level and still we awaken at three in the morning and sit up and pray for those who still rape Her and steal from Her and lust after her and inprison Her. Yet Her song of endless compassion eternally sounds — Her clarion awakens all who are ready to listen and awaken to the truth, the truth and happy or sad, mad or glad- She offers all and Her fierce protection and brings us all together during these dark Kali Yuga days and She humbly asks for prayer -and to huddle together in Her burning inferno and be Her face in the facing of horrors — Her gift of breath -She gives it freely and in the end it is Hers — the golden light of Her breath — pure holy Mother Light-prostrating before Her we surrender to Her will and become holy breath in action of Her cosmic creative dance. We all together rise up and chant the holiest of holies and sing Her battle song.
    Yours Truly,
    Tara Devi the White Fire

    1. I edited your post-and then I signed your name -as I wanted to – and it’s to say I know it’s true…
      Yours Truly,

        1. Not like that!!! Do I have to edit for you again?! (I really don’t believe you yet) plus you’re not a VICTIM of the man! EVER.

          It’s better said,

          “YES, I ALONE AM
          IVE COME AT LAST
          WHITE ASHES OF ME.
          because It’s God God God
          in my eyes alone…and you know it.

          Yours Truly,
          TARA DEVI THE WHITE FIRE~❄️❄️❄️

      1. Before I went to
        SLeep last night I set up
        A picture of the Dalai Lama
        above the couch cushions
        because my cat will
        Attack me
        In the middle
        Of the night
        This time I was ready
        At 3 am somewhere between vision and dream
        The cat was struck frozen in mid stride
        by an electric sanctuary
        The sun and moon jingled
        As avilokitisvara fell to the ground
        Russling the leaves of my fig vine
        Neem Karoli baba smiling with delight

        1. Insightful words from the
          Refuge himself,
          unscratched and vivid,
          his own light caught in midstream.
          Obviously this is a case of,
          Tantra on the Hotwire.

          sending love like it’s air
          and breathing Ram
          for all the naughty cats…

  3. It’s okay.
    This time I think I understand.
    Probably not..
    But here goes –

    The tongue lost
    Is a flower opened
    Go in the heart
    And find her
    As a feather
    Stuck in the burning wing
    Of a planet
    Coming to find
    Yew who
    Yooo Hooo!
    Mama im coming home.

  4. so much trying to pull rabbits out of hats
    juggling balls in an air of consumption confusion
    keep them rolling
    high in mid air and beyond
    balanced on the tightrope stretch of blind faith
    where is that crystal wand when i need it?
    pushed into a corner of silent fighting back
    screaming FUCK THIS SHIT
    falling into a quagmire calling out in late hours
    reaching to the wrong person
    where i though true heart lay keeping
    ” I have no time 4 U… I have 2 sleep now ! ”
    said the red queen…
    Sleep…what is that?
    turning from soft fragile underbelly squish of bleack nothing
    becoming formidable Shiva
    rising quick
    transforming on the spot
    wild, fierce and undaunted
    in that moment freedom formed
    so why had i been so weak???
    table turned getting caught in an onslaught of verbal
    red queen’s vindication
    “why did u do this 2 me…”
    she queried long and long
    imposing lyric interpretations
    of G-dead songs… on and on
    Oh late night dawn of redemption
    set me free
    there is no-one but me and thee
    no other has the key
    When then i turned into blue throated Shiva
    swallowing poison
    ending up with that gone crazy head
    under the boot-heeled grip of Kali Ma
    setting me free
    giving me back my lacking brave
    this one saved
    from unhinged
    or a making sense of it
    howled from senseless drift into liberation

      I’m posting it!
      (she just asked me not to- but both emails
      came at the same time)
      Vajrayogini puja- been in space for days-
      sorry to miss or delay- even still,
      there are no take aways mother Devi
      stop playing games!

      1. twas not me playing games
        it’s the red queen…
        no time then and now she won’t leave me alone.
        too late, she pushed me away
        and Shiva shook hold of me –
        HEY YOU!!!
        BE ME RIGHT NOW!!!
        AND MOVE ON!!!
        so i did
        i wanted truth
        and for my sins i got it
        have been in that space for days
        finding a way to anchor body
        while still letting the wind blow
        through my opened heart
        and keep my head in the stars
        Your Vajrayogini puja- space
        sounds alluring
        💚 🕉✨

          1. Your vigilance for all
            is all inspiring
            Your diligence is compensation for our own deficit
            this one – thinking too much, yet again
            in words
            that only come to say once more
            Thank You and thank you and thank you
            again and again and again
            through all the ages and beyond and beyond and beyond
            round and round and round
            circling back and back and back
            while you dedicate your being
            toward the greater good of all
            and all and all and all
            God bless you God bless you God bless you
            always and always and always
            forever, forever and forever

  5. I am deeply drawn to you and remain in awe. Attracted and repelled. Intrigued by your beauty, your light, your darkness. You evoke feelings that I’ve never experienced, that I am not able to grasp. Intrigued. Unsettled. Confused. You consume my thoughts. Who are you?

    1. I am a heart without a home.
      unsettled like a table without legs.
      flat on the floor and everywhere.
      I am a really sacred doormat that says
      “home sweet home”
      a place to wipe your feet…

      (plus I’ve also said I was pretty much every god ever made- so it depends on my mood)

      who are you? I can be what you need.
      let me know…

  6. YES!! I too am a heart without a home. Unsettled like a table without legs.
    I am nowhere and everywhere.
    Who am I? I am nobody.
    What do I need? I don’t yet know.
    Are you a reflection? A warning? A guide?

  7. Sitting by my goddess tree
    When Nature’s call came in,
    Both, the hum of your voice
    And eagle’s cries sound in.

    Once it entered in my hearing
    My ears recalling it gently,
    Of warm earth and tenderness
    Your voice so Summer silky.

    Over the creek, they swiftly flew
    Mine presence they never knew,
    Sharing space and blessings graced
    My soul tingling with life anew.

    So far away in miles You are
    And far away were the eagles,
    All united by similar vibrations
    Bridging the gap between us.

    Together this sound and sight
    A common bond they share,
    Senses channel Divine Motherlight
    Bringing distance from far to near.

    Your home is everywhere , my beautiful Dakini , in water, earth , fire and air, filling the senses and the seasons with your sweet little girl laughter.

    Om Ma and love ,
    Kamala Devi 💋

    1. Did I forget to kiss lotus eyes goodnight?
      I’m sorry butterfly devi…
      your words, like a soft white dove make me
      want to wrap myself in peace and silk…
      feathers for her raven hair.
      I love you all night long and in the sunlit morning I smile when you shine on me.

      Love you to death,
      wild bird of my soul…

      P.S. kissing my heart to pieces…
      I’m all over the place loving you❤️

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