Then the animal turns divine

Slowly the shadow reveals itself – you’re not good enough to be loved… 

we cannot use spiritual practices to abandon ourselves. To leave ourselves behind. Ultimately the spiritual practices are what give us the capacity for awareness – but the typical behavior is to disown the shadow completely in order to feel in control of the pursuit of holiness- at which point we are undermined even more subtly and we essentially become our own enemy rather than our own friend. 

Dark side of holy people wake up and come out of my childlike fantasy world.  

darkness caused by religious rules. How to accept one self entirely while also not falling into the pit of hedonism or self righteousness. 

Through him the most great teachers have come and made me a better person in the most painful way possible. Therefore he is the embodiment deepest darkness and the brightest light of very own self.

This makes me love, and accept and develop genuine compassion. Was it his plan? It doesn’t matter. We are all vessels of grace if we allow ourselves to be. If we put ourselves in that place and he did- he put himself in that place for me. 

He looked at me and I knew- if wasn’t a friendly look- we had never talked. 

The light has many secrets that only the darkness knows. Tell us.

We are attracted to those who hurt us – there is nothing that is by accident or random/ every painful experience- offers grace / processing is what yoga is- on the fast path- it’s going to happen/ what will you do- take full responsibility and drive blame into one 

The more simple we become the better off we will be.
Creating space equals clarity

The truth of human nature terrifies us and it’s a reality that we have to face.

One day at a time of clarity. One moment at a time.

Double edged sword.

Desperation. Using something to get away from something. Moving closer to something that has both hurt you and healed you. Needing something on the outside to validate your existence. Like “being a teacher” basically “being someone” because the other side of that equation is too much to survive. Desperation. Running from the place you now need to be.

It’s a scary, flimsy, groundless place– nobody can offer you an existence no matter how many testimonies they write about your “qualifications of importance.” Nobody can offer you anything although you feel needy and lost if you’re honest.
Death watches and you don’t feel like the winner.

It’s hard to define the space of that shadow – because it lurks in the silence that is filled with that desperate noise- the truth of this double edged sword is anything but acceptable.

I see the squirming everywhere. 

How do I deal with it? I try not to squirm. 

Our bodies are instruments of the divine. The pure sound of god flows thru us when we let it. 

Then the animal turns divine.

Sharada Devi

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