the silent throb

The orgasm, which is God, is preceded by foreplay and is the fundamental reason for existence and the quest for enlightenment.

I’ve thought about this a million ways
and that too -is foreplay-the result of my thinking would ideally be God then. But since the mind doesn’t tend to be very focused- the results which should be God just becomes the Devil.
The orgasm, which is the opposite of the Devil is followed by confusion.

But what does it mean?

It means we need to be redeemed.
We need a resurrection.

I don’t think people understand the idea of attention to detail- which is foreplay.
Pay attention. Makes sense right?

Because God can’t get out if God can’t get in -and I’m hearing a lot of horror stories regarding the pursuit of the orgasm- which is, in its deepest sense, the only reason we came -and are here at all. But I’m sad to say that there Is a real problem in this department -called -the eyes are going both ways- and you’re not focused -and you don’t even want the thing you’re serving-with every ounce of your libido (whether you like it or not) and so this ushers in some bad digestion of the divine experience of union.

Because there is no union, because communication is also sexual in nature -and so is eye contact- and so is everything you’re doing -and you thought it could be separated and conjured up when needed by some whiskey and lingerie – because you’re really not into him at all- as a matter of fact, you’re into me -and I’m not even a man- but it’s our hearts that strike the chord and lead into the foreplay between souls and astral communion.

It’s all in our heads and the parts below are only the final confirmation and culmination-of how powerful our mind can be -for better or for worse- because honestly, these men mostly are just afraid of women -maybe they just don’t like to talk or acknowledge independence -or feel their own feminine pain- and so they simply prey on women -including their wives -because they’re just a scared dog trapped in the pound who isn’t sure when he’ll eat again- but he knows he’s worthless because his people dropped him off -and now all he can do is bark really loud and piss on anything erect (other than himself) do you get it?

Well, I don’t get it –

because every woman I know (and I know a lot) doesn’t even want to fuck her man. She wants to make love to me. And it’s not like she isn’t willing to want to, it’s that the guy is as hard as a rock in more places than one. You see, hard in one place only- and soft everywhere else- that’s the key to her sexual madness.

And so I wonder who’s really more afraid? Her, to fuck a cold rock that snores -or him to have a heart at all. And I LOVE men and I’m not saying it’s you-I’m just saying its a universal problem and I know men don’t want to be this way- and
this world closed his heart -but what about her feelings too? I mean, women will sacrifice and take care of their husbands forever because it’s just a bad habit -(and so they can have his house and money-like whores and nothing more)

but men don’t appreciate the gesture enough to expand the potential of the relationship- and women and wives are happy to be less than stellar whores-

everything is sexual- AND a man shouldn’t make a woman do his job. And a woman should speak up and say so- You act like a man and you pursue the object of your desire-and then maybe she’ll start actually wanting to be beneath you…get it?

(because mommy can’t do everything for you)

Nothing isn’t sexual -and in case you didn’t know- let me tell you now and sorry to offend-
but this life is really only about dealing with why-

we want to fuck our mother or father and how we can make this happen (asap)

who we can punish because of how we feel.

How we can get rid of the other parent who stands in our way.

(and we project this all onto others and it gets very interesting….)

And it’s all about hiding from this fact- and so we
have no sexual roots or sustaining love at all.
Just admit it- ok -it’s weird -but it’s what I want- let me just figure this out and come to terms with it -and I’ll go there -because i must. Who knows why and who cares?

I’m a spiritual sexual warrior with a calling….

We’re perplexing creatures -but only half alive-because of shame and fear because of RELIGION. Don’t go there. It’s a lie and a trap and cuts you off at the waist from anything that would propel you to your divinity.

It’s two triangles- one goes up and one goes down-

That’s who we are for better of for worse.

How to get back inside mommy-
How to make daddy notice us –
and be sure it’s working in all the right places…

It’s primal- imbedded in the depths of the collective psyche- and you don’t think there’s not a problem? You don’t think that sexual problems aren’t the reason for war and obesity and every sort of addiction- well they are.

Freud was definitely right.

It’s all just sex and more sex as the roots and fruits of our existence- and then religion and shame get mixed in and we are supposed to get
“married” some sort of legalized prison sentence- and lock us in a house with a guy and his hard dick and no heart -and a woman who can barely get her legs apart far enough to even let the games begin-

and the boys in the room watching porn on his iPad while terrified and hard dad fucks forlorn mommy until they’re both more limp than when they started….

And the boys like, “why can’t I be dad? What’s he got that’s better than me…” and subconsciously he starts lusting after mom, hating dad, calling his sister a cunt, thinking about what college he might attend and he’s totally committed to another absolutely lost and useless human life.

Fuck mommy always playing in the back of his sweet misguided mind-

because our lives have grown unnatural.

Sexuality is freedom. Period. If you can’t dance, or won’t sing or write love poems- if you won’t talk and express your feelings -if you won’t go into every dark place that calls you- with love for yourself- you’re just not sexy -no matter what else you do ok?

And your wife doesn’t want you. She wants me.
Because I’m giving her everything she wants-which is understanding of who she actually is -because she matters inside- and the men -who even claim to hate me- secretly love me -because of the challenge I am-to grow bigger and harder in every way -and to grow softer and sweeter on the breath of the moment.

And so everyday ordinary life is merely foreplay with the beloved and how will we do it.

Who is your beloved. Who is the great God or Goddess in your life.

The erotic game has all led to here and nobody seems very sexy anymore- and they’re trying too hard in all the wrong ways.

And what’s an orgasm? And do you think the negation of the one doesn’t stifle the more subtle grasping of holding God deep inside you in every moment? Or penetration- if you cannot penetrate her complex mind then the penetration of body parts- is really quite lackluster and I’m sorry you didn’t notice because you didn’t pay attention.

Oh, and he’s afraid to kiss her lips? He can’t look in her eyes? Oh? Just spread your legs, soulless sit-in for mommy? Don’t make excuses for him
Or yourself anymore- and STOP fucking him for control or to get things -and I say FUCK- because that’s what it is.

Making love is a lifelong and daily -all day affair.
And you can’t hide it from me -what you can and can’t do- but if you’re wanting love, you better pay attention to how he lives his day and how she cooks and cleans- those are the secret revealers of sexuality and how I go there – or not.

Because we aren’t monkeys or dogs. We aren’t trying to fill the planet with more of our kind-
we’re here to connect and commit and go as deeply as possible into what our sexuality really holds, really promises, really suggests, really is.

What it is -is -how I wear God. How I call God.
How I know God. How I’m going to make God
based on Me and my trip- and that’s making love.

Making love is making God.

So tantric love is the great weaving of a basket that holds two hearts, two sides, two triangles, two sacred moments in time- clashing and banging the silent throb of God -and in every moment of their glory the heavens rain flowers upon the sacred bed of Gods -and the redemption of the Devil -and the resurrection of the Christ- and the orgasm that sings Her perfectly- Only and forever -while She sits upon His lap in eternal bliss.

That’s what life is. You should do it well…
because it’s the only thing going on…
and it’s yours to behold…the one breath of two…

the silent throb.
Sharada Devi

24 thoughts on “the silent throb”

  1. TIME IS AT HAND, We cannot beat around the bush any longer. She will swallow you whole like the big fat snake and slowly slowly you will dissolve in the belly of the beast.

    You see the bush is almighty, it is the mouth of the Great Goddess the creator of all. We call her by many names, but her big name is NO. She wants to tell you something, but you must come very close to hear her voice.

    She is the black hole of redemption, the milky way moment when we let go of all the mind games that keep us apart from the voice. She says worship me and I will free you from my madness, but what does it mean to worship?

    She is the YONI of space, she holds the Lingam of light that she gave birth to. She holds all the cards in the deck, better pick one before they all dissapear. Who are you NOW after the vultures feed upon your flesh? Are you really here in the body of dreams?

    So make it real and more real and get down to IT. She is the white vulture feather that the Shaman wears on top of his hat. Talk to her and ask her for her blessings that you could wake up from HER dreaming you alive.

    Deep let go of wanting to GET and what do you have? too much of nothing. Space is dancing before your eyes, do you see the bush burning with fire? She is the voice of the volcano. You see we are born dead and only by the grace of her bush will we live again. So what to do? It is what it is. Sex for sale, the cost is your life, how deep does it go this rabbit hole?

    When we give up the moment and we listen to her lower voice she will tell you everything. You see we are caught in fake moments of desire and that’s what she is telling us.

    The bullet penis pushing into her soft flesh and her death orgasm rings in your ears that all the rock and roll won’t take away. No. You push only fear and hope to fade away. No. We just wear the ego out like an old pair of shoes.

    And we get down close to the bush and we cry and cry because we love mommy so much. We kill for her, we lie for her, we steal for her, It’s all in mommy’s eyes. Where has Daddy gone? Gone to get the money and kill the deer. Daddy lost Mommy in the war. It’s all about beating around the bush and never hearing HER song.

    She just said it all, and made it very clear for her children to see. It’s up to you to finish the race into the rising Sun.
    bhagavan das

  2. Dear Sharada Devi:

    Guess that’s why we all love fireworks so damm much — the cosmic orgasam all a lit in Big Bang and sparkles and bright colors and the oh’s and awing … And we go back to Her for She is the start of where it all began at the beginning of the AUM … and in the end we are born sucking momma’s tit and in the end we continue to find and seek Her in penises and thumbs and whiskey and breasts that aren’t Her and food and empty love affairs that don’t last and we still want to drink sodas from bottles and eat the holy nectar of our youth that we dreamed up from past lives and we continue to search for Her and can’t find Her anywhere and yet She there in every household in everything window She sees all and knows the heart break and longing and stands there with Her hands wide open collecting all fallen tears and She rocks us to sleep even when we are drunk and mean and half baked and She loves us all in all our wicked ways and She tells us in the end when we’ve shot our spouse in sleep that we are still Her darling baby and She shows us that we can make it through the splittering heartbreak and shadow dancing that we still have work to do and we clean the blood and we turn off the porn and we start to sing a song of truth and our mermaid love for the unknown ripens and we don’t stop even searching for Her for She is who we seek to infinity and back again and we are Her children no matter how old we are and we eat berries and cream and that’s one way when we savor this we are always a breath away from Her. She is our breath.

    Jai Jai Ma

  3. Yes GURU is our only friend, he is the pure mother light beaming down on you from the mouth of the lion.

    Where is he? Are all the old good ones dead? How can they die when they are rainbow crystal light? they may fade into space but they always return again to join the dance of pain and privilege.

    They always dwell amongst us, but they are hidden in the lotus land. We all go there when we move beyond narrow lanes of freedom. They come into the matrix to save you and me from the sea of suffering hanging on the old mind moments of gone beyond.

    We are only here when we are, just a breath from death.

    DEEP DOWN BLACK SKYDANCING IS SHE WHO MUST BE OBEYED.
    Trust me. Bhagavan Das

  4. Sorry to post this here kind of unrelated but omg…I just awoke from the strangest dream. I’ve been fasting for two days no porn no nothing just trying to live purely the last few weeks…strange stuff happening…I was dreaming of hiding from some alien ship as it flew over me then it sucked me into its bright light. Then suddenly I was back in my room and there was a presence behind me. Something was outside of me sucking my energy in the room then I reached over to turn it off and it jumped inside me like a snake or something, in my stomach and up the left side of my body I felt it curl up inside me causing this buzzing tingling sound around me head coming up through my stomach and up to my shoulder and left side of my head even. Even as I write this it buzzes and tingles extra…like some kind of demon feeding, I feel fear right now and intense fear during the “dream” wtf is going on? Any idea? Jesus Christ…I still feel it

    Thanks…

    John Kosswix

      1. Ok my heart was beating wildly and I felt sick so I went to the bathroom and threw up bile even though I haven’t eaten in two days…feeling a little bit better…still feel this strange thing inside me though…it doesn’t feel just like my head it goes all the way from the left side of my stomach up my left side up to around my shoulder/neck/left side of head

        Thanks,

        John Kosswix

        1. Dear John
          Thanks for the picture. Whatever it is that you’re doing on the internet needs to stop.
          Pornography- it’s serious situation John.
          This behavior draws very dark energies into your life and it’s not -no big deal- so please stop and also your liver- eating habits aren’t good- and also you MUST DO THE ENEMA- like I said before- it will help you-
          Ok

          1. Ok thank you, I will try the liver cleanse should I do some liver diet? Also what is the best enema just normal saltwater? Also I haven’t been looking at porn for a while I’ve been going to the beach more and trying to balance my yin yang energies ๐Ÿ™‚

            Love,

            John Kosswix

          2. I told you about the juices or using the blender if you don’t have a juicer-wheatgrass would help- daily 4oz -2 oz twice daily- DO NOT drink bottled juices-
            You really need to work on your health –
            your liver and clear your intestines-
            You should take this seriously.
            Enema- warm water -no salt.

          3. Thank you I had no idea my liver was in such poor condition I haven’t really been eating unhealthy at all for months, i will do all these things

            Thanks again

            John Kosswix

  5. i hear everything that you are saying
    it all rings true.
    so sad, this standoff of use and abuse
    rather than the mingling of souls
    leading to astral communion
    dancing the rhythm of primordial ooze.

    Instead of all this male and female tit for tat
    i say this and you say that

    sublimate to this in return for… what?

    i so want to return to that state
    of fearlessly gazing into an others eyes without a flinch or a wince
    just the meeting of two beings in union of divine spirit connection.
    It has been too long a time of waiting for that interplay of harmony and light
    That brilliant infatuation that never seems to linger
    instead everything fades into discontent and a forgetting of that initial spark after the court is through.
    What you say – โ€œMaking love is a lifelong and daily -all day affairโ€
    is so real.
    it is a practice. just like all other aspects of spiritual practice.
    A continual process of falling down and getting up and still maintaining a desire to follow the path of love.
    Yet it is challenging and necessary.
    But the flesh / heart / and mind have to be willing simultaneously.
    And continuously maintained by both parties or else it ceases to breathe and
    surely dies…
    And it seems to be such and intangible space / place to achieve.

    i so feel that lack of love.
    That connection.
    True deep love has not been felt and melted into for far too long now.
    A coming together in more ways than one.
    ( Ha, i made a pun )

    And the attention to detail and focus in every aspect of our being is so vital.
    And i fail daily.
    but i keep on trying.

    against all odds…

    1. That’s because he’s on a different page and he doesn’t respect you and it takes two
      sister moon.

      1. Yes,
        so it seems to be
        sadly
        no matter what

        i was told by an Indian Holy woman that
        all i had to do was my practice i.e.: meditation / mantras etc…
        and that i would be able to ” mold him with kindness ” by his observance of what he witnessed.
        And that he would eventually join me in practice…

        i have yet to mold him to join me in meditation…

        all i see is impatience and bursting into what ever room i happen to be in because he “needs” a bowl
        of ice cream or 10 minutes later a peanut butter sandwich or what ever…

        A Kriya swami once told us that a person should be able to meditate even with a jackhammer pounding outside your window.
        so that is his defense.

        A Soto Zen teacher told me that i needed to practice welcoming and generosity even though
        it was not being reciprocated.
        As that was the road to becoming a bodhisattva.

        All i see is increased opposition.

        and i am told that i am getting “worse” and “meaner”

        HA!

        1. Exactly what I despise-

          Religious spouting off by people who have no
          idea what they’re talking about- just stupid rules and speculations and new ways for you to become a zombie drone-

          Religion is wrong. They should learn to think for themselves and your pathetic husband needs to get his own ice cream- (actually I’m thinking he should be laying off the ice cream and peanut butter)

          NO. NO. NO. If what they said was true,
          you would have done it- but instead their
          rules keep everyone trapped- feeling inadequate and unworthy and like you’re the one doing something wrong- YOU DO NOT need
          to fix his behavior by your own. If you could you would. It’s creating a worse karmic situation and the only mistake you’ve made is STAYING with such an inappreciative
          dead beat- and YOU KNOW IM RIGHT.

          You need to find some courage to let go
          of the patterns that bind you. It’s about your security and what you’re used to getting. Life is short. There are other better men- but until you uproot what causes you to attract abuse- you won’t meet them-

          You need some time alone. In love with you.

          1. well actually he does get his own ice cream. that’s part of the problem. the getting of it WHILE i am trying to have a silent space for meditation.
            And yes, i agree, his food habits are not would i would like.
            There was a time, ( when he first returned after that long absence ) when he was following a sattvic diet along with me. And actually watching the Mother Light Satsang videos with me. And participation in pujas and meditation.
            Bt it just little by little slipped away.
            We both took Kriya Yoga initiation back in 2000.
            With Shaktipat and there was then a strong desire on his part to be faithful to the practice. But that dwindled as well.
            So i know that there is a spark in there somewhere with the potential of being re-ignited.
            i just wish somehow it could just spontaneously combust.
            Like an epiphany.

            i would like to add that when he is interacting with my ( his step ) Granddaughter, THAT is when his heart is truly . fully open and pure.
            i just wish it that love and purity could translate and spill over into other aspects of daily life.

          2. WEll my dear friend, I want to meet him! We will be in SF and SC and Nevada City in mid july and probably southern CA in Sept. why don’t you bring him and we’ll meet him!
            You really need to because he needs some help and inspiration because he’s probably depressed and feels like a loser and defeated and so he nags you…its univeral.
            love love love….

  6. Yes, i would like that.
    i mentioned it to him.
    sept. would probably been the best time.
    Thank you for the suggestion Sweet Sharada Devi!
    : D
    &
    <3
    Much Love,
    Radhe

    1. hardly anyone calls me sweet- but thanks for
      noticing โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’œ rainbow heart!

      1. You have always been sweet to me
        Like the fragrance that permeates the air
        when a newly blossomed peach hued rose opens it’s petals

        1. Radhe,
          Sexy. The women that write here are so
          sexy and just smoldering with love fire.
          writing me the most seductive and sensual poems every day. So divine…the flower
          that opens…poor poor men…what they’re missing…

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