Through the dust and wheels, long broken stems. The gifts we offer. Collapsing shoulders, a darkened mind. Bags on the floor filled with bottles, empty. I stand in the doorway, just an excuse for what beauty could have been. Memories have worn down the blankets and curtains. Animal souls drain down dying walls. Paint stains the places we ignore. Dead food waits to be eaten. I stand in the doorway, just a breath through this frame. You aren’t looking. He isn’t looking at what left. I am not the sin. Not the phantom who wore these blankets covered in night’s death. I am not the one. My face does not hide in this ceiling, I did not cry for the past. You cannot blame me for the rising sun. The demons slip into the cracks. Where he breaks. I mend with me. Open your eyes. We have nothing but decay and rat traps. This broken heart sees only in two. The illusion that someone else leaves, or keeps or cleans. I have done nothing but stand here while everything rots and worries for more. My words are the song of the bird just outside. Looking in. We look through. Sitting in an old creaking chair just rocking and pain. We cannot cover the cold or shut anyone out. We can see and recover the space. We can move more than we know upon wings not yet opened. We can leave the letters unopened and visit tomorrow just inside. What will I become if I enter. What will I leave if I go. There is always another mantra or word to transform another. The power is wilder than we can imagine. Yet me, myself am the one who is here. I have fallen through many sharp branches. I have struggled with bodies that have disappeared. Ghosts, shadows, phantoms caught in my full length mirror. I write about gods because I am looking and wiping the light from the night sky. I pray to gods I can’t claim to know because I am calling the dream from my heart back to you. This translucent war, this crystal clear weapon. This dust and this samsaric theory of recovery and penance. If I could know you where the dark shore meets the warrior. If I could hear you where the screaming fear meets the arrow. Across the magenta morning sky when the birds line up waiting for trumpets to sound across vast intrepid arenas of lonely human thought. The chosen one could then appear and lift me from this doorway. The haloed one could lift a deadly arm. Into the mire of God fumes, through the shame of bodies locked. Inside a heart torn in two. We could touch both places and relax. I cannot pretend to be alone anymore. I cannot imagine you are here. There is a point on the horizon, inside my beating tired head. Where a diamond rises, silver blue from the ocean. Where emptiness ceases to need any space at all. Where wave after wave I hear you just waking up. Spirit Bird, we never knew how far love was. We never felt how close we came. To her, filled with many pearls and children. To me, the creator of this. To bliss, because love is everywhere. To clear mind, because sky is heavenly. To truth, that all birds eventually fall. To this doorway I stand in as her.

Sharada Devi

21 thoughts on “Sweetheart”

  1. When
    you are all
    I sit here, breaking, through sadness..

    Mangled by time
    I look to the doorway

    Sweetheart comes and goes
    Apparently no one keeps. Everyone leaves.
    Me. But I am halfway, all the way. That means I use my body, only as a bridge. I walk upon the gifts, lighter than rain. I cry to surround where only we can meet, in eternal. Sunshine

    1. a light in the tunnel. a tunnel of light.
      dark bodies travel, unknown to themselves.
      who would be here first, saying anything at all. remains to be seen, the unheard. as close as closeness can be. next to me, worlds crash and dreams die. to be born again, swimming through age and eternity.
      the edges of this diamond. these smooth tunnel walls. her dark listening semblance.
      only I can imagine where we might be.
      caught and creating this chasm and stain.
      minds, many minds loop and cut. hearts, may hearts bleed and sag to be heard. I alone
      am never alone. we wait…to reach the other side. we move…to know, it’s nowhere.

      light that reaches and covers. sound that surrounds, little surface pebble, a diamond tbrobs inside. this ocean and this sky.
      the earth was lost in me to know. there is something that doesn’t die, that’s in everything- singing to her. ☀️❤️

  2. Lost in words, I sank like a stone
    splashing into shocking cold
    bold falters into mute
    shall i take the lines
    and twist them into another language
    one of color, shapes and mystery
    a more or less escape
    searching for an alternate voice
    bliss come to me
    precious crystalline moment in which to be perfect
    fleeting as that may be
    momentary perfection is a blessing.
    Krishna come to me
    dwell in my heart
    symbol source of unlimited devotion
    that in her sings sweetly
    she as pure turns inside out to fulfill the calling
    below the surface of transparent, above the layer of mire
    “ How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot
    the world forgetting, by the world forgot
    eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
    each prayer accepted and each wish resigned .“
    what was, now new, refined
    truth come to me
    everything changes
    that’s the nature of illusion
    it can happen right before my very eyes
    then it becomes magic

  3. lost in words once again,
    I trip and stumble
    i am humbled by my own ignorance
    things change, sentient beings too
    Truth is changeless

    1. the waves. the ocean floor.
      the mind, the heart.

      nobody knows the answer.
      we feel what is true,
      the best that we can.

      Love lives.

  4. Sweetheart,
    journey forth in love.
    You have made such an impact,
    a love imprint
    in my heart.
    You brought me home, to the Mother Light.
    For this, I am forever grateful.
    Om Mani Pandme Hum
    Love & Blessings
    on this special day.
    Love, ChandraMa

  5. Hearts upon heart.
    Reaching a space
    where tenderness
    an unknowingness.
    empty spaces
    filled with soft rainbows
    to sleep upon.
    Where dreams
    of color
    ripple through
    Opening the mind
    to the light
    within hearts
    pulled by
    a memory…
    …ascended masters
    dressed as angels
    surround me…
    I am not alone.
    I never have been.

  6. I see your smooth elegant powerful grace,
    you glide with skillful determination,
    a love warrior,
    a diamond heart with a rainbow body,
    giving us space for ourselves
    knowing our potential
    magnifying our gifts
    fighting for the good
    for all that is within.
    So we bow
    through darkness
    and into that promised
    that shines forever.
    Om Mani Padme Hum

      1. It’s YOUR blessed day!
        We really are so lucky
        to have you here,
        sharing your light!
        Om Mani Padme Hum

        P.S. your musical recording was just lovely! The sweetest sound ever….

  7. Dearest Sharada Devi,
    I am thankful for your fierce grace & deep wisdom,
    Your powerful soulful glances, your melodious~soothing voice, your radiant beautiful smile that defies the darkness, your courageous,rigorous commitment to truth, your raw, aching, inspiring vulnerability. I thank you for all this & for all I am not even aware of. I thank you for your presence. May your birthday bring more blessings than ever before.
    In Unconditional Love,
    Padme Devi 🧿🦋🧿🐍🧿

    1. dear lioness goddess
      Thank you for your inspiring words!
      Bright fire, keep burning to be the light…
      heart shining love ☀️❤️☀️

  8. I hope the kala chimes sweep in with life to rebirth the circle’s mouth. Ankles shells rattle kissing a fiery shadow. We offer up our hands of seeds. May we progress. Adisesa swallows the burn. A mighty roar in the wind kicks change and blessings thru to prayer flags and time wheels begging us to weild Truth, & remember our inner still point. Listen to the mighty winds from within you: a deep sacred breath. I hear you coming up off the fires inside. I close my eye lids and open to this: Rise & Fall. Awake &Alive. Our Truth is veiled by heavy wheels and the long way home. Can you see the sacred whale sleeping below the surface? Hear it’s heart-beat so big and loving. Yet, she sees the despair. The voice that swallowed the lot. Oh wake up Now and mend the threads to hold everyone around us. Our sacred vessels go dancing in the spaces between. This is where we meet One bright Light Om happy solar return

  9. Happy Birthday Dearest Sharada Devi
    🌹 🔆 💠 🔅 ❤️ 🔅 💠 🔆 🌹
    Blessing to you on this special day
    – a past moon shone full
    as you made your way
    back into form from formless
    taking a breath
    to be born once again –
    Thank You.
    You make this world a better place just by being who you are.

Leave a Reply to sharadadevi Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *