There is a wise saying that goes, “Get your head out of your ass.” It always makes me want to cry -laughing to think that a head could get stuck there, because it can -and it does- and it’s a horrible fate- worse than a stick or a sliver that needs pulling – and in some cases desires shoving- but that’s another topics for discussion- for now, this head we’re talking about- it goes up there- gets stuck in the muck and starts thinking – dreaming it’s perversions and calamities away in a haze of excretion and a whiff of something that needs to go- to say it nicely- this is sad when you’re so full of shit- which is bad enough- but then you get so enamored by the scent and discomfort that you take it a step further and stick your head inside? You want to know how I clean the toilets?
Because that’s like palpable entertainment or a REALLY feel good day at the petting zoo -or puppy ballpark -isn’t it? Don’t you want to be clean? I mean for real this time- I could have helped you pull your head out -but like a tick sucking on my dogs neck- I’m afraid you have nothing else to eat -but your own waste and left overs…a night in hell…empty inside -but filled with wasted causes- sitting on a toilet seat- your head fully emerged- your eyes blinded by the obvious…it doesn’t have to be so lonely.
And we all have dreams about bathroom stalls and x rated movie theaters- it’s natural – and yet we still feel bad because we know that dead grandma’s watching- and we wish they would just stop making those
movies that stir all that poison- that make us hurt people -and start our throbbing head pulsating for more. Bombs are created to explode, and it’s bound to occur -and I hope for your sake nobody gets hurt. The shit is about to hit the fan- and I’m not the one whose it’s target-I learned about shit years ago and how to skillfully maneuver my way through its carnal desires- it’s subterranean wasteland- it’s human feeding ground- it’s funny how the tables turn-First we eat something terribly wrong to make this hardcore shit- and THEN-we can’t get it out- and THEN it morphs into a SUPER SHIT – which THEN becomes this huge DEVOURING CYBORG- who starts eating us from the inside- it’s possessing black magic body is formed of our disowned waste and our inability to push on through to the other side…in the world of the occult it’s called Shit Posession -the wrathful stopped up -pop off-and only an exorcism with extra strength laxative power will do…
It’s raining fire today because of me. I’ve got a plan to destroy The Shit Head for good. Just so you know, you are no match for me. I’m not afraid of touching the inside of the toilet- I’ll clean it with my hands or my sin seeking tongue- oh, “I’m so gross”- whine whine whine -that’s right I am- Grosser than your mind could EVER go. My creativity and lack of inhibition is an endless shit seeking godhead missile-sucking my way through overflowing sewage and septic tanks- stirring in this endless love at the bottom of fermented outhouses- the leaking body bags left in a hot room are like candy to me- I don’t have a problem with you at all- because I made the black and wild hose that sucks you dry -and I invented the sexy movie that suggests you stick your head in deeper and push just a little harder- high and higher up into your little feel good jerking pumping death-it’s so comical, watching from my side of this purgatory- you lost before you thought- that you thought- of this version of me. (as if I have a form at all) I did you already- so many boring and monotonous times- You jumped my train- and I took you for so many rides into what you were asking for- we should try something different -a new position- don’t you think? In a way though, you’re so brave, albeit stupid, to keep that feces face smiling- brown chunks in your teeth and all- and you know the rules of the slave system so perfectly-and you fit the pieces of your meaningless life into such a thoughtful mix of the modern masturbation handbook and the ancient ass fucking closet gay…I want you to know through thick or thin, you’ve always been here living in my mother light heart…you know that don’t you? I’m a saint living in the bleak -yet striving heart -of every shit eating lover boy. Every head too stuck to see that loves goes a long way down the drain…love flushes the love and it always will. Don’t be afraid of your shit- like a frozen shitcicle.
Do you know why?
Because mommy loves you, that’s why.
I think you may suspect something is different now that you’ve arrived at my table. Dinner can be made from as many things as a new street drug can- I’ll feed you whatever I want. You don’t know what you’ve been eating even though your head is stuck and your eyes have nothing to do but examine the dish- you’re too intoxicated by the spell of my ruthless intoxication to even comprehend that I truly am the goddess who created the shit you can’t discard -and the perversions that made you the expert- like the book’s title reads,
“How to successfully get me off before I die”
Like I don’t already know your story. Like you aren’t already dead meat beneath my feet. Hahaha⚡️What a crock of shit. You can’t get off because you’re on -and for now it seems for good…your head is up there TIGHT. What a brown eye socket bookworm. What a bad odor from a hairy graveyard. Even then, I got inside, I made a new mess. Yes, you are my experiment- but without the toilet paper this time -because I’m taking it all away- making things a little more fun, more interesting…I know it’s going to be rough -but I’ve been nice enough- I’ve got smooth moves -it’s true- but I only ever had one thing in mind….
your shit head in the toilet.
Sharada Devi
She bites, she has claws, her teeth are sharp like razors. She cuts into the dead flesh and sucks the blood.
Your dead body lies on top the mountain, this is the sky dance where all the Vulture Dakinis come to feast on you. This is your last offering to the hungry mother Mahakali. She swoops down and digs in deep to get as much meat as she can before the other big birds get there. Blood all over her mouth as the goddess sweet Tara Devi. The ancient grandmas sit against the wall, the hem of there white saris stained with the blood of all the goat heads. They murmmer the mantra of her wrathful dance and she cuts and slices through all your juicy negativity. Go to black now, otherwise you will get lost in your mind mess dark road to rebirth. You will never find the light in the light, go down deep into the darkness and free the snake. Ride the wind horse into your heart sky with all the energy you’ve got before the vultures come. They are circling above you now.
dakini das
stuck in the muck
and all fucked up
banging heads
against marble walls
lining sullen empty halls
aimlessly mind tripping
never fully took the fall
so busy looking for answers
with too many clues
late night
reeling
straining to pass it
to subdue
to lose those heady blues
all the while the axe is being sharpened
even then you go on harping
your brain in constant carping
saying “ there really must be a better way out of this place”
stuck like glue into that cranial space
all that time, it’s really such a waste
the welcome mat was misleading
once inside
slam goes the door
the parlor is in shambles
furniture all scrambled
intricately hand painted china
is littering the floor
impossible
the sweeping
up all that you’ve been keeping
try to hid it under the oriental carpet
but you still want more more more
haven’t you had enough my pet
isn’t the storage locker full enough yet
malodorous stench wafting like a snail trail
invoices that keep arriving in the mail
demanding the money that you don’t have
you prided yourself that you have been so brave
out there on the horizon
the tip of the iceberg is bob bob bob’in
on a less than benign tsunami wave
hold your nose and cross your fingers
say a prayer and hope it lingers
because you aren’t even close to being saved
💩💬 🚪🐌 🌊 😰 😱 🙏
🔹 😉 🔹
Today Dude ripped his finger in half on a saw
a cross town
At the same time I tried to quit my job
Because Jimmy page had to Ram – Bull on
I believe
it’s my fault
I’m not the one
I didn’t drink half a pint of booze
I’m not a bull dog
Giving sermons on morals to a drunkin former baptist minister is a bad idea!
Not sure who’s luckier
The bull dog or me
Thank you for the unconditional support and love.
All the cages
Coming down
Her blue hands
Inside me
All the lost sages
Rising up
Meeting sands
Sensuality
All of her emblazes
Weaving through
The onyx wand
Controlling the sea
Inviting the phases
Of the moon
Sound the loon
The heart is stopped
The door is locked
Never again
Forever
Amen
A boy
A girl
From out of this world
A love burled
Over time
Crystals chime
Singing her song
A puddle of pantheon
Electrical phenomenon
Dissolving into luminosity
High and cold
Evenstand
Holy land
Firebrand
I love you and baba so much. Thank you.
Supershit?
Are we on the same page?
In the same stall?
Rolling over,,,,xxx
I’ve been composted into love and awareness.. beyond the stall.
🌸💐🌺🌻🌹
right…
you’ll see…
Good morning beautiful!
It’s the waste that feeds the vegetation.. from dark comes light. From defication comes life.. Sometimes too much poop will hurt the plants. I’ve been in the fire for soo long I’m finally figuring out the proper feeding.. but as soon as I think I know, the game changes on me. So back to forgetting everything to be here now. I’m sure the 💩 will catch up and I’m waiting.. ✨
love love love
Have the sweetest Saturday.
All my love..
insightful. how’s your wife? 🌸
It’s the wee hours
where I used to come out to play and ponder
it’s been a long time since that used to be the way of things.
I thought I was not as heavy as I used to be…
tonight is kind of quizzical and may not be the best choice of times to unwind but here it is.
Nothing.
is that the question or the answer.
when I say too much
is it or isn’t it too so ?
or is Nothing the point?
should i respond or just sit back and listen or should i interact
because sometimes what feels like flak
makes me want to crawl into a hole and ponder again and again
what did i say wrong this time.
And maybe that’s a good thing.
But it sure does not feel like it is.
Maybe I should
like others
just disappear for a while
and sit and wonder…
why did that one
win a smile.
vague innuendo
sets me into a spin
that loses precious time
precious time
that could have been spent elsewhere
like inside
quiet and calm
fret*less
and un*flurried
but then
does time exist
or maybe it’s just me …
and then again
it begins
is this a cruel trick?
i am slipping into confusion again
when does it stop
this spider web spin
or is this just the beginning
and when does the feeling of faint end
and the letting go begin?
I remain your
hope*lessly fearless friend
love,
shape-shifter 4 love of all
🌠💕
Happy Dawali
Just went from 1000 to 1
If you knew her you would fall in love.
She is still living in her childhood traumas.
I am being strong, and honest with her.
Would you like her email? You and baba always make her cry with your video uploads.. She’s like a lost angel looking for her cloud. A goddess who isn’t sure of her powers. I send her poems and flowers and give her my life, yet she still hurts. She is afraid to get counseling..
❤️️❤️️❤️️
(thought I sent a similar message? I musta hit a wrong button)
Thank you. Why would I want her email?
We can’t coddle people, and justify their
weakness- it’s not healthy behavior.
If she wants to contact me she knows how to.
And I will help her if and when she’s sincerely ready to grow.
We all had a bad childhood. It’s no longer
an excuse. It’s do or die – and the demons
are hungry for blood and fear…
and we can’t take it away- she must rise
on her own – it’s the first step actually.
🌼
😭🙏🏼
Beloved Sharada thank you for caring so hard when I had no one.. You barely know me but you’ve loved and cared sincerely when I had no where to turn. Thank you for this space to get lost in the woods and spill my heart and cultivate my soul.
(Last morning message sorry I should have got this all out at once I’m feeling scattered it’s the fasting I think high energy tapas)
The heart flutters – its like my heart trying to sync up with another’s
You’re sweet Paul- and I’m here for you and I’ll be here for your wife when she is ready. Ready for LOVE ⚡️❤️⚡️Hahaha!
I love you🌼
Dear Paul,
Is it ok for me to glom on to your plight ?
Because you, Paul have become part of my daily thoughts and prayers.
for some time now.
As have others in this holy place.
I think of you and wonder how things are progressing with you.
And iI trust that this is not an intrusion.
But more what this is what one is supposed to do.
As we here gather here together under the divine Mother light
other wise, why bother to take the vow… ?
– God please make me a sanctuary , pure and holy tried and true and with thanksgiving ,
I will BE a living sanctuary for you –
My daily mantra and prayer.
why do i come here with all my pathetic BS…
Because you are the ONLY person on the planet that I know of
who is WILLING to even listen to this crap.
It is SO SICK all the stuff that goes on in peoples minds in the “name of love”
So SICK of what the sweet sweet Children , so pure and innocent are forced to endure as daily acceptable behavior .
SICK TO FRICK’IN DEAth OF IT.
so un-fair!!!!
NO IT’S WORSE THAT THAT!!!
I am ready to cal CPS on all the BS neglect and say ” Hey get a grip!!!”
” You stupid people!!!”
so fragile and so sweet
the days of youth
and so short
Why , Why, WHY?????
and i have NO control.
IT’S ALL SHIT!!!!
I JUST WANT TO SCREAM!!!!!
We were all once “sweet sweet children
so pure and innocent”
right.
we were just stretching into our karma
to perfectly fit the glove as her
intending body of flesh who sucks marrow-
and new growth isn’t cleaner than rotting
corpses- it would just look that way to
us, the prisoners of time.
the human flesh eating parents of earth.
⚡️⚡️⚡️
yes, so true
and rightly spoken
perspective in everything
i was holding my granddaughter in my lap
the other day
and we were comparing hands
and she asked
about knuckles
and i showed her how they existed
in some way
and in other way did not even show
and we talked about skin
young and old
and she said
“look Grandma, when i do this my skin is loose
and when i do this, my skin in tight, and then we are just the same…”
coddle, some times i just want to throttle
the insane craziness that others inflict on the pure and innocent
or are children born into this world – again and again and again – just signing up for another dose of
just what they asked for…
am at a loss…
Any Ideas ???
Yes I have an idea:
We get what we’ve got coming.
Don’t let a pretty face fool you.
It’s just the wheel of sharp weapons
returning…
and we’re all getting cut sooner or later-
sliced chopped and put in the stew…
this earth isn’t a friendly place after all
and you’ve first got to see it,
to believe it⚡️💀⚡️
Thank you beloved radhe.
Your sincerity and passion warms my soul.
I’m literally shaking with gratitude.
Thank you.
Om Radhe Ma!
Love!
Please don’t give up on us, we’re all gonna make it.
Namaste.
😭🙏💙
Shaking and quaking
Lighting and thunder
all things that possess the power to put asunder
that which binds and confines
Thank God that we can find a way to let all things go
Thanks and blessings to You Dearest Sharada Devi
for providing us with this Holy place of love and light
in which we can congregate and come together
seeking guidance, love and wisdom.
As well as feeling free enough to BE ourselves
without fear or repercussion.
( well maybe harsh truth sometimes feels like judgment ) 😇
But Liberation is the goal
The ONLY true goal towards
freedom of the soul
that is what brings us here
to BE the collective BEings
looking for the light that leads us home
searching for liberation
for that mukti / moksha
joining in sangha to aspire
a hands up hands on lifting up
to take each other higher and higher
lofty encouragement
offered with deepest love
exaltation that leads us on the
path of Being bound for glory
the only story worth listening to
What else is there to do in this world
of maya and illusion
than to perpetually pursue
the whittling away of ego
and the decimation of karmic debt
in humility and heartfelt gratitude.
Deepest Love,
Radhe
💚 🕉
Do You think
does it seem right ❔
that what might seem like clinging
becomes more the longing to keep in touch
actually the bond that compels one
to stay longer
and BE (T)here to help guide
Others
is it a calling ❔
and not so much a falling into the abyss
but more pure
and less obscure
that which we endure
to Be
more wholly (in)-formed
and realized
I do not want to be lost
finding the way
is the way
not just the sadness of today
the letting go every day
to BE the brighter day
and the more enlightened way
Stumble not
but find our lot
in this life of illusion and confusion
God bless us
Each and every one
Namaste ❃
😇 🙏 💚
don’t know what is happening
can’t breathe
can’t “think” without wanting to …
what to explode…
don’t
know what…
my mouth is wide open and
Iam without words
panting breathe
it feels like…
please help me
don’t know where I am
or what is happening
it feels like salt
and drowning
Too much like salt
When someone has lied to you in the past. And not made amends. Such as stealing or lying….
or acknowledged the truth of their wrong doings,
Is it better to let it go or work towards them coming forth and making things real.
It’s better to focus on yourself.