Star Of Night

in a little corner she sits and plays with a little kitten. the kitten sighs, “are you getting tired?” she doesn’t wait for an answer. curling up in a little ball on the floor she sighs as the kitten’s eyes begin drooping. slowly into the realm of sleep the kitten falls. beside her they dream of climbing trees and warm soft mothers. she’s just a little girl. the kitten purrs lost in ecstasy. she kisses her furry head in the dream. “but it was only a dream.” she is curled up in a ball in the corner and tears are in her eyes. “nobody loves me but god.” the kitten smiles on the inside. if only humans understood the realm of ghosts. she has been curled up for years in the corner covered with imaginary animals and red wine. “jesus lives here in my heart, under this skin.” she says pointing to the pain. ” and I won’t stop bleeding til it’s over.” the kitten is covered in blood. a baby is being born. a star shines outside the box that no one sees. “it’s always night outside.” little wonder. her name is little wonder. “how I wonder, little one…” and if the day shall ever bloom from dead seeds I shall find it.” there is a little girl sleeping in the daylight with her kitten. the curtains are closed and the corner is tight. the kitten never leaves her lap. the little girl never leaves the kitten’s eyes. and we always do get what we want. even if it’s popped balloons or an unruly kite. i never tried to fly. i was too busy growing into a cat. “baby we can do anything, you know that. look at jesus. look at god. Iook at the cat in the cage, is it me. it’s all me.” blood red meat eating child killer snake walking messiah.  i don’t have to wake up to know you. in my sleep i fed worlds of suffering gods dreaming of ghosts. i turned everyone into christ kitties and taught them how to fuck. do you have a problem with that. the “no pets allowed” rule isn’t in god’s plan for a better tomorrow. she needs a playmate. he needs to move the rock from the door. he rises, the scripture says so and i believe it. i have seen what the light can do when it shines on the kitten. she loves the sun, she really does. the little girl sighs, remembering her mother and how much she hated filthy cats. “do you hear me god? do you hear me crying from this fur? do you hear me god, make your son shine in me.” kittens talk, they’re clean and they kiss back. the prophet lives in between- where flesh hits the bone…

nothing is more important than finding out the meaning of this. why she stands by the wall, always so close to crying. why he digs quiet holes with his heart and leaves nothing but anger. why i speak of myself this way so that strangers can read and be done with themselves. why i love the little one disguised as a kitten…aggression hostility and grief. i began documenting out loud. why would my mother call me a slut, why would my father beat me, the virgin- like i was this filthy feline whore…this is the memory box- in her little tiny flaming corner you know. this is why loving your pet is so important and why listening to the child who wants one matters. it’s not dirty, it’s an innocent dove of a kitten. she is the prophet of your existence. the embrace between man and woman is extremely poetic and awe inspiring when you consider all the tears that fall for no reason but to know this. why do i sigh like someone just died at least once an hour? he took down a fortress that was previously impenetrable…and though the ancient mice were everywhere chewing themselves inside the walls making her resist his efforts- the little corner began to grow anyway into a moon shaped vessel of another being, a divine white light. I said, “his name is lucifer and people think he’s bad but he’s the only one who can bring the dawn so i don’t understand what’s wrong with christians. do they even know what they believe?” that of course, was a thoughtless question about me…i know my marketing skills are bad and my message is obscure. he is bright, very bright inside this yearning. there is only one star that matters and it’s him. yes i know this already- and i still want to open the box and find a kitten wearing a rainbow. because until i do, the dark keeps dripping. silent and deadly cold. you’d be surprised at how many things are begging from your eyes, frozen and burning for no good reason at all- except for the no pets allowed policy. well, fuck that. and i mean it. we have mice infestation and pain from so many morbid religions. we need a kitten who sees in this darkness and we need him to shine his warm light within her occult feline body. therefore, the oracle says, “release the prisoner.” sharada devi