The black sun is inside of everything. The moon is always behind her. Scorpions fall from the ceiling into my bed. The child waits all alone for her mother to return. But no one is coming back. The tail curls because the night is long and his pierce is sharp. Because the moon drives men mad and his desire is for penetration. From the womb and up, the wound is black. The sting is inside the bed at night as she curls beneath the opal light that shines through her window. He always watches me go. “Leave it all and come to me. I am in you.” Fill her body with a reason. Any reason to go further. It is his world down here, under these sheets. Where we fight the dark spiders, scorpions fall. I am not alone. Legs wrap and squeeze. The light changes from a crescent to a disk. The words change. I whisper in his ear looking for God, “Have you seen God. Some day, any day. Is God looking for me?” It is night. Far across the moon filled ocean the air is a cesspool of death and poison. I breath him in – in song and sky. Nameless unframed madness. Her burning eyes etched in black beg for money. The water dies filled with long ago fires and ash that has sunk. They don’t care. Nobody hears you. God doesn’t sing, God honks. There are windows those are not eyes. There are pits those are not souls. I am here spinning everywhere pulling him deeper. In this dirty room. Into me. Scorpion fire. Long crystal legs. Unedible food. Showers that stink like death sweat. I still want you. “God isn’t real,” she reveals- as man made oracles embed themselves deep in her silicon body. How to get here, underneath him. That is the question she answers. Slowly but surely. I am laughing. Don’t be stupid. Long slow moan into light. No. Not a light you can see, only feel in this particular dark. Poison dusk. Wrathful deep destruction of God pictures and patterns. A hole into you. Dark sun astral force. Invisible enemy sticks it into my body. Loud people walk the streets aimlessly. Piles of dirt blow smiles into the air, “I’ll kill you. Yes I will. You should do this for me. ” His vehicle is black smoke. Her mouth is blue stain. His movement is unseen. Her madness is untouched. “Go ahead and blow me out of the water.” Take back the love that had rings. Pull the blankets over these dead timeless bodies. As we pray. As we pray. As we pray. Decay. Yes. I said I love you. Back. Again and again. Where’s my driver. Insane my lungs are filled with his venom. I am devoted. I am as toxic as the light that glows from inside of these windows where I watch animals fuck like computers change screens. And we want the words that will reach us. But we don’t scream. We don’t cry. We don’t ask. We just grunt and roll over. There is never another day behind the wheel. It’s always his light. It’s always her shadow. It’s my body inbetween the sheets where scorpions fall into bed. On top of me, my love. All is attraction. They say it’s a maddening initiation. Like a drug that numbs your lips and churns your stomach. He is inside rising. She is a pearl slowly dying because his body isn’t real, it’s her anger taking over. The streets down below. In the sewers where we walk. Waste deep. Night after night. Looking for clean girls with warm laps. Thrones for a dead dog. I’ve already eaten. That dog was diseased. Barked all night, feared every cat. One slow amber gold eye. One long grind back to the morning. Scorpions sting because we are lost and need guidance. If we didn’t it wouldn’t happen I was told. Death works through people this way. Pointing out hidden messages and providing lyric that moves us to undulate and call out for answers -we never hear ourselves calling. We think we are him and his sunrise. We think her shape changes with age. We think the waves overcome us and create tides. We think the pearl is a result not a cause. We think no one loves us because no one can. Not with all the honking and howling and half closed eyes. Ignoring themselves in her reflection and in his gaze. India is the worst place on earth. The longest trap standing. I chewed off my leg to get back to McDonald’s. I held out my tongue for another drop of his kill. I wanted to love you like flowers come in colorful bouquets and smell like heaven. But you’re mine and we must eat and survive this profane contradiction. You’re mine, bloody mother of night where truth falls on beds as light dies into wisdom. Give me more. I can take it all the way to another death. He is the One who captures seduces and destroys me. I am the One that sings to him to love me again. And again. Satisfaction ceases to occur. The light is all mine. Even in darkness. Because I am what is and no one can stop me or feed me back to myself. Ode to defeat. I mount every corpse with the jewel of my intangible heart throb. There is this pounding. This aching. This throbbing. That is my message. Get up and enter the unknown of anything moving inside. Until you get what you want. Find him fucking with you and fuck back. That’s all I’m saying. Don’t be alarmed. Turn red. Love me back. “I can’t get no satisfaction.” I might get a slender cat and teach her dog tricks…you’ll never catch my cat. Not like the dog who died in my arms. Because a mantra isn’t enough, neither is a collar. Love love love alone is the sling. Sharada Devi is the sting. Scorpion breathing.