ruby light of the holy ghost

On the edge of night I fought the sun. Because no one can bring me down from my little wedge of heaven.

Will you meet me under the ruby lights?
There’s a viper on my back door step
Beneath the wrath and frost of home
my only body of destruction left is you.

We are the destruction of one another.
We are inside of each other looking out at the other. This bloodstain is where I left my only moment of you. I counted backwards to 10 until you disappeared.
You never said what you wanted to say.
This left me wandering and thirsty.

Left reacts to left. My darkness calls to yours.

I try to avoid Los Angeles because every time I go there some entity tries to possess me. It happens to us all and usually it’s a subtle eclipsing that you don’t really feel but this time was different. A few years back, we went to Topanga Canyon- one overcast and breezy summer afternoon (which many sources say Topanga is a big spot for human sacrifice and black magic) and we somehow ended up at this abandoned house that was for sale on a huge shady lot with overgrown trees and weeds, spiderwebs, creaking deck boards, rusty gates, dust and broken windows.
Walking through the heavy silence of the property, we all agreed something didn’t feel right and so we left. I forgot all about the eery feeling of being watched and followed by the time I went to bed that night. Suddenly at around 2am I shot up in bed and woke up Bhagavan Das and I said, ” something is wrong with me. I can’t stay in my body.” It sounds crazy but it was the scariest, weirdest feeling of vibrating and electricity and my head tingling and myself losing power over remaining inside my own body. Like something was pushing me out. It wanted to animate my features, control my actions, live through my body experiences. Where would I go if this shift succeeded? Into the background- possessed and controlled and not even aware of it having happened (most people are in this state of helplessness) Bhagavan Das started rubbing my feet and saying mantras (he never gets too ruffled about anything) and telling me I didn’t need to go to the emergency room and I would be ok. But he was wrong, this was serious…something was trying to push me out of myself. So after probably half an hour of him rubbing my feet I couldn’t take it anymore and I jumped up half insane and ran into the bathroom turned on the shower and sat cross legged on the shower floor and let the water wash over me.
(By this time Bhagavan Das maybe though I went mad, but he knows these things happen to me sometimes.)  The water started to bring relief and after about 2 hours the assault subsided and I thought it would be safe to get out of the shower- and as I was moving dripping wet and worn out, I passed the toilet, at which time I walked over to it -without even knowing why -kneeled down and opened my mouth- and something shot out in the form of vomit but it wasn’t vomit, it was an entity leaving. I was horrified – it looked and felt just like a science fiction movie- and it shocked me -but I knew that it had now left -and I went immediately back to normal.

Was an unknown astral beast attempting to merge consciousness with me. I think so. Should we know when to move in and when to move out? I think so. Are we just a body and not
a universe? No way.

I’m telling you this because it happens all the time and it’s not paranormal- it’s ordinary life.
Don’t be a host for any ghost. Rise to meet the eyes of your possessor. He’s only going to tie you down if you let him, and let’s not forget the little pieces of Her hidden under the bed. That’s not tantra – left hand or any hand, that’s just extra work for everyone – so do your best to stay out of places where demons dwell. And don’t go around people who probably have already picked up a few. It’s not much different than a dog with tics and fleas. They can jump off the dog and right onto you. It’s a slow blood and soul drain. We have enough inside already to deal with it. Like our grandma who died in 1572. Like the big slithering snake we hate.
Like the love we lost last year.

As you can imagine, we’re heading deep into the desert veins of hallucination and penetration. Who sees into your mind anyway? Isn’t it me spreading a tapestry of love tears already? Isn’t it me on my magic carpet sending you a dream of me? Or are the monsters waiting to take you home?

We are in charge when we take charge. We can’t take charge until we accept the conditions.
I’m not demented. I’m aware. You caught my eye and now I see every hole inside and what you’re filling it with. What’s empty and whose crying.

Exorcism. Repentance. Purification. Bright Fire.
Smoky eyes. Lifted Wings. Looking down.
Nobody left.

I was born left handed. Some of us are- and in the old days that signified that the child was sent from the devil and so the parents would tie the left arm behind the child’s back so she would use her right hand instead and could be a child from God. Otherwise, She could become a witch and then we’d have to burn Her or hang Her from a tree to die. We don’t want that.

Also, you don’t have to read this if you’re offended by me or if you’re a snake hater. As a matter of fact, you don’t have to own your sexuality at all. (even though it’s all you’ve got) You can lay there underneath him while he grinds and grunts and groans and you don’t have to feel anything -except for numbness, revulsion and anger -because even now, you can’t arrive at the union, the romance, the sensual completion. Let’s just say, there was no reaching any mountain peak on that journey. It’s just gross, sticky and empty, a meaningless upward climb….or maybe you’re just not sexy enough?? OR -there’s always the possibility you have risen to some sublime, spiritual state where love making is simply a cleaner more pure thing.
You know, holy. Less skin and minus the snake.

Do you think I’m obsessed. I’m practical.
That’s all. You’re always doing it with yourself.
How you’re doing it with others is the Ruby Light
of the Holy Ghost. Shining and Earth Shaking.
Wild Witches Naked in the Ashes.

I set you up and you set me free.
Blown away again and again.

Well I don’t know. I’m thinking this is a snag. This non -committed agreement to be polite and obliging. Say what you want to say. Say it now
because we don’t want to end up startled- after the fact- that we weren’t above and beyond anything. We just wouldn’t get it on with our left side. We let Her shrink and wither while we fantasized about a better place than where we ended up- which was in bed with a man we’ve never really seen because he married a woman who has no head.

Bhagavan Das had a very wealthy friend several years ago who was disturbed by me. This man owned a huge winery and estate, was on his second or third wife by now -and the current young wife had two of his sons. Angry little boys who would throw things at their mother and call her stupid. She didn’t seem to be bothered by this. (I suppose that’s why they’re still together)

Anyway one day me and him had a moment of eye contact which I thought nothing of at all.
I just looked at him as I passed by him. Suddenly this guy is practically obsessed with me. He starts getting drunk and calling Bhagavan Das on the phone and saying, “She looked at me. She wants to stab me in the back with an ice pick. She’s the darkness. She’s overshadowing your light. If you leave Her everything will be yours….and on and on….He’s crying about me and offering Bhagavan Das riches if he leaves me because I’m the darkness Herself and I want to kill him with an icepick? This man made no impression on me whatsoever and he thinks I feel so passionately about him? It’s sad and narcissistic and not unusual at all when your own subconscious is stalking you. When you’ve ignored what you’ve been doing for so long it starts popping up everywhere and sometimes in someone else’s eyes. His Left Hand, through my eyes- was telling him about his own disowned guilt and making me the One responsible. (it happens to me all the time)

Projection is a huge ally of Repression.
Some of us just have a special power.
Maybe it’s called laserbeam eyes.
When we look- we see -and when we see- we
push and pull a little -and suddenly it’s you -and She’s got plans to destroy you once and for all.

You’re the reason for my open sore.

We thought it was all our idea- to get drunk, to beat our wife, to overeat, overspend. That we have a disease and need a cure. We aren’t diseased. We are possessed. Haunted by the past. The ghosts of ancestors and beyond- who never die. They drink from your whiskey. They fuck your wife. They smoke a pack a day. They stuff their face with french fries and donuts. They become strippers.

They are doing you. Not the other way around.
When we ignore, deny or suppress our left hand
our eyes lose their sparkle and our heart loses its magnetism. This is why automatic writing is so profound. It sets free your reality that’s just below the surface of awareness and it reconnects you to your dream mind. Creativity and answers to questions you haven’t even asked. She’s talking to us all the time but mostly we just don’t listen.

Are we afraid to truly love Her? I think so.
Words are meaningless without contact.

The left hand has always been seen as unacceptable because it’s the hand that opens the door to the dirty things, the nasty thoughts, the secret desires, the forbidden fantasies, all that is illegal, illicit, immoral, and everything that determines every move we make.

Tantra attempts to weave flesh to ether, dark to light. Left handed tantra is a path even more volatile, dangerous and wicked. It attempts to undo whatever you thought was not doable, not allowed. DO NOT ENTER signs. Skull and crossbones. Flashing red lights. But you have to go inside -and it happens, and you do it.

You will enter an alternate reality, a surreal floating space… but honestly, aren’t you there already?

How you do it cannot be planned. How it happens, when and why. It has to be you going to meet Her. Untie your arm. She, with Her danger rubbed in your face. She, with Her wicked engulfing you. He, with His volatile
exploding inside of you. There is no formula.
There is only self abandonment into the void of what ever will be will be and I love you.

There is only going to ever be He and She here on earth. Violently thrashing against each other
blissfully creating time and space. Either we
move or we don’t. Dead from the waist down isn’t more pure. It’s more cold.

You aren’t choosing how- it’s just happening and your mind is blown. I mean everything and everywhere is blown. It’s your worst and your most fierce ecstasy and your most precious enemy on the verge of complete madness. It’s psychedelic euphoria and it’s when hell flips to heaven.

Because we didn’t ever touch Her or see Her until just now.

Tonight we see the light.

Will you come back to be with me?

So what I feel is that we are born to walk where we walk and do what we do. We don’t choose tantra of any form or color. We just ARE IT, in our essence -and we know it -and need to come into ourselves. It’s time. Those we meet, those we love, those who die, that which rots,
diseased faces, sunken eyes, clammy hands, worms in our dinner.

Its the path of the cure.
We’re all love sick, that’s all.

The cure is my soft hand on a sharp nail.
The cure is my sordid desire.

To really get inside and feel Her as deeply as possible. To push and to burn. To writhe and to polish. To die and be born. And I’m not advocating brothels, XXX movie houses, pornography, drug use, or any wayward fascination because these places are already inside of your mind -as sanity toward the madness -not as obstacles. Do not take me literally. It’s subtle and it’s laced with gold. What we can claim and what we can master is our love that found the other. Is our love inside another.
Is our purity and our venom. Is our violence and our peace.

To live like you’re dying.
And what makes you feel your life pulse?
The danger of annihilation.
And what gets annihilated?
Your right hand’s rules and concepts.
Your right hand always trying to plan it out.
Your right hand control freak paranoia.

He’s so lonely without Her He becomes unmanageable anyway!

Life initiates you into Herself and you don’t have a choice. Take a ride with me into oblivion.
I don’t think we’ll find ourselves there anymore-
sitting legs tightly crossed, smothered in churches and bras. We wrap ourselves up in these awful clothes like mummies, paint our faces, squeeze in tight and bound. Don’t let anything out. Don’t let anything in. Cover yourself in nauseating fragrance and look in the mirror and smile at another day of absolute psychosis.

Take it off! Take it all off! I can’t take it anymore!

Don’t call me crazy. I don’t do it…

and say what you wanted to say.
Tell me everything,

Sharada Devi

22 thoughts on “ruby light of the holy ghost”

  1. yes i get those entity possessions too, in fact i have one latched onto my left shoulder kind of under my neck and i cant shake it i wish i knew how but it wont leave its always there. i think i will do some fasting. also i have some lust and porn entities latched in my mind constantly filling me with depraved thoughts all this lustful red energy coursing through me, when i eat too much it fills my intestines with heat and the heat goes to my genitals got to stop overeating too and do more spiritual practice, walk on the beach and stuff. thank you for your wise words sweet baby devi, i went on a water fast recently to clear my head i am in a much better place now than i was a few days ago i am not deep into the darkness i rise slowly out of the muck to shine my light upon others instead of draining them with my penis octopus tentacle energy

    praise be 2 the god of heaven, the source of light, all the archangels and all the pure beings that help us all on our rise
    together we rise together


    john kosswix

    1. Dear JK,

      I think fasting from pornograpy and meat
      could be a good idea. Stop overeating because intestines should not be impacted-
      it draws negative astral energy-
      Read essene gospel of peace-
      get a juicer and some organic vegetables and
      fruits and walk on the beach and relax your
      mind and clean your house and be at peace.

      1. Also you should be doing enemas at this point- if you do fast – sounds like you
        have some congestion- colonics too-
        or whatever you feel comfortable doing to
        unclog your intestines. It’s serious and
        it’s the key to one’s state of mind

        1. I HATE CLEANING!!!! I will try the enemas and colonics though, thank you for the book and I am only eating eggs currently and some small pieces of white chicken meat, I would get a juicer but I am short on money thank you my love 🙂

          Also I get these weird red spots around my chest, naval, and solar plexus areas, like a circular red spot like 6 inches across any idea what it might be? feels like somethings pulling there, thank you 🙂

          Love John Kosswix

          1. You can use a blender and a strainer (or nut milk bag) if you
            don’t have a juicer- vegetables/fruits with
            a little water (NOT tap water) and drain the fiber- you NEED to purify/detoxify your body. ENEMAS- please start today.
            This will help you and evergy meridian
            blocks- but you must be consistent and
            disciplined. Ok.

  2. when u speak of counting back, i can only guess that u r referring to your experience of sugery a few years ago. only because i have been there and done that way TOO many times.
    end of that story.
    as for Topanga Canyon, … i grew up in LA. nothing to brag about.)
    i left as soon as i could.
    but unfortunately returned when i became pregnant in NY and it just evolved from there…
    i ended up living in a communal situation in ( a tipi ) at a place called Latigo Canyon.
    With a 7 month old child.
    we all used to go shopping in Topanga as it was the ONLY real choice. At a place called “The Food Chakra”
    They had some -thing called ” Plant cheese” that was the vegan rage. ( way before vegan was ever an colloquialism. as a hungry nursing mother i was whacky for the ” date dromess” …
    Interestingly enough, i remember a time that we all gathered there so that we could view a “closed circuit ” video of Ram Dass.
    We were all very much elated and congregated. And Ram Dass proceeded to expound.
    and i swear to God, He consumed Coors beer and KFC on camera.
    It was weird.
    i don’t remember a word that he said. that is my only memory of that night…
    i do want to say that i feel ( not think ) that Topanga Canyon might actually be a vortex of weird energy that aligns
    it’s in- habitanants with material and other powers and prowess’s beyond their ken.
    Look at all the “Big Name” celebrities that have prospered after living there.
    It seems like a veritable black hole of sacrificing one’s soul to the ….
    of material fortune and success…
    the last time that i was at Bhaktifest, the latest big time lady performer ( dressed like a vegas lounge show act )
    professed how she had just recently moved into her new lavish home in the “Canyon” and was besieged by the howling of wolves….
    And just to add a historical note… The “Food Chakra” where we all went to “view” Ram Dass, was owned by ShriDar, the man who currently produces the multitude of ” Bhaktifest” entrpreprenuer endeavors 3 times a year.
    i attended a few times, and the last time i did, ( about 4 years ago ) i attempted to engage him in conversation. while He was out and about. i brought up the food chakra and the old days, but i got the distinct impression that since i was not young, vital or “bhakti- attractive” He had no time for me.
    what ever….
    does any of what i have said matter?
    i don’t know…
    but it is true…

    1. I know everything you’re saying and food chakra- and He/SD had his huge house in the canyon and last time I was there it was a tantric cult orgy and I was naive and me and my friend barely escaped-
      the night after Halloween- and shaktipat
      (looked more like molestation) in a dark room, creepier still that they sang like angels- his followers had hollow eyes and holes in their socks. The house smelled like casserole -(I think dinner was served after everyone had sex with the demons) the leader talked about the spirits and how sometimes his instrument would just start playing itself and his aura was fluorescent yellow/lime green and he was intent on penetration-physic rape. and he (the cult leader) has a strange women who started making these kind of Chinese noises and walking with a feather-bent over groping people’s genitals in the room while everyone
      groaned and growled and rolled around the floor- looked like having sex with invisible
      energies- and we left and barely got by and
      doors were locked-and we couldn’t find our shoes- I thought they would
      come retrieve us and kill us- in the middle of nowhere- dark. No neighbors- no lights-‘
      we somehow escaped. That was his (SD) old house in Topanga- why do you think we don’t do
      Bhaktifest! Always more going on behind the scenes- everyone hiding everything/
      That’s why I don’t hide and people can think I’m crazy or disturbed or “poor baby girl
      needs daddy” the jokes on them. I’m free
      from the pageant and betrayal of dharma.
      I’m free from the noose of ass kissing
      anyone. Do I have anything to show for it
      besides self respect? No. It’s a club and
      if you aren’t working for the demon serving VIP- you’re on your own to perish poor and
      without a big enough fan club to get you
      very far (like an ashram in Topanga canyon) here in the
      Pit of Hell- we call it out of ourselves
      and we carry a flashlight for sure!

      1. Question sent FROM TARA DEVI:

        Dear Sharada Devi
        What are ways you herald in the Mother Light? How can we start with where we are and also allow Her to imbue every cell every drop of our personal essence with Her?


        No Light came into my life or being without a heavy price and personal major sacrifices-

        Over and over and it never stops because it’s the only way She comes. Not at our comfort ever- only at our courage and anguish.

        I tell the truth- meaning I do whatever I have to do- to live it- I don’t keep secrets especially in relation to others-

        I broke out of every prison that I created. I live on the edge of nonexistence.

        I sacrifice everything out of devotion to God. I work and suffer and have nothing left but what I lost.

        I keep dying and it isn’t fun. It’s straight uphill every single day…

        I don’t have any excuse for fear or inertia.
        I left everything to be with my Guru.

        And I keep leaving because the Guru moves me out of the way of what helps me so that I will help myself.

        I’m just a balloon in His sky and it seems like I’m lost and floating but She’s always watching the sky and holding the string-

        I have nothing else but faith and devotion.

        By our action it’s proven-
        and that is how we Herald The Mother Light.

        Sharada Devi

        1. Dear Maria
          Everything you are asking is everything I’ve been saying/writing about. It’s the journey
          I’ve been articulating and the unconscious/subconscious doesn’t hear
          “Today I will be kinder” it’s on automatic response (like Pavlov’s dog) and it responds
          to ritual and poetry and wants to be understood and heard. So stop trying to control Her and make Her act in a way you feel good about- the good you and the you that you are embarrassed/humiliated/tempted by- the tension and anxiety around trying to keep Her
          (The wild unpredictable bitchy animal) harnessed makes it impossible to be loose enough to slip out of the hold the past has on us. So you can’t worry about whether He loves you or whether He will stay this time-
          whether you’re right or wrong- you have to
          be in an environment where you can be you-
          through the process of letting go of perfectly understandable defense mechanisms.
          The truth is we still live with them- they just have a different face (mom/dad) why am I doing this? Is everyone Her? YES.
          So we must see Her in Her cloak of darkness in a place where it’s ok and there’s support so that we can look close enough for long enough at this darkness (get inside) until one day we look at Her and exclaim,
          “You aren’t dark at all. You’re the Mother Light and I love you” (because I finally found out how to love me and who mommy really is without Her costume on)
          It was always love- it’s just distorted-

          1. So if i become reduced to ranting or behaving like a” crazed person”, at my wits end. And just can’t tolerate a simple second longer of trying to be an embodiment of kindness / generosity / acceptance etc… and just LOSE IT and begin to speak ( or yell ) the truth of the situation as it pertains to the moment or the day… such as not being allowed the curtesy of quiet space, time for meditation, alone time. Even the opportunity to read this blog or watch the videos without interruption or” look at me. Listen to me”.
            then am i being ‘unspiritual?’ ( Un-Buddha like) ?

          2. NOOOOO!!!!! How about SOME RESPECT!!!!!!
            burn it down!!!!! BURN IT DOWN!!!

            Buddha wasn’t an idiot!!!

          3. That also means you respecting you!!!!
            I’m not wicked, I’m wild!
            And so are you!
            Maria, stop being his bitch and start
            making waves- it’s YOUR OCEAN- after all!

            Plus he won’t love you more, he’ll just
            keep taking you for granted.

            You are a Panther not a pussy.
            There’s a BIG DIFFERENCE THERE.

            Panthers can play with Wolves just fine-
            though it might seem messy!
            but panthers will kill a house dog. Get yourself a wolf and start scratching and howling- and get your fire back asap!!!!

            I’m so over this predicament. You aren’t the
            only one. I get lots of emails- off the blog- but I’m glad you post here- because it helps others-

            You are not a purchase and you are not under contract- you are a PROWLING PANTHER AND
            THE MOON IS FULL. WILD.

          4. * being nice is a lost cause. being Un-spiritual is a lie. Get off the guilt
            everybody! nobody’s going to hell but
            the ones who are afraid of their own demon.
            open the door and say thank you.
            It is only you- ever.

      2. Well it is comforting to hear that my instincts are not off base.
        Thanks for sharing your story.
        i always felt that there was something weird going on behind the scenes at Bhaktifest.
        That’s why i never went back,
        But that IS where i first came to be revealed / exposed to you.
        My first magnetic draw.
        i have a question. And it comes from my not knowing or really understanding just what Tantra means.
        Above you mention that there was a tantric cult orgy going on.
        But then you speak about “Tantric-alchemy , the magnum opus”.
        i am confused. i’ve never comprehended just what it all means.
        And the first time i ever wrote to you many years ago, it was surrounding an event i was
        ” invited to experience Sri Param, Tantra Master from Tamil Nadu, and Sound Healing with Bija Mantras”
        And the videos sent to me were something that i was completely unfamiliar with.
        i don’t think i mentioned per se the exact “thing” that was concerning me.
        And a amoung many other reassuring things you wrote me, you also said “Don’t ever be afraid of what lies within”.
        What does Tantra really mean?
        When i google tantra online, it is always in reference to sex.
        But when you speak of sex, i translate it to be more than just the literal meaning.
        Please help me to understand.

        1. Because of the times we live in much information is available and also misunderstood and abused. Tantra and its teachings can’t actually be taught. It’s transmitted physically and it’s spoken only
          in twilight language. We carry it based on where we’ve come from and the masters we’ve met, who’ve touched our soul and planted the seed of transmission. You cannot learn it in a book or workshop. It’s 100% physical-
          maybe just the presence or the eyes or maybe
          a touch or maybe sexual. It depends on authentic teachers judgement of what’s needed. It depends on the situation. But it’s not what everyone thinks-this universal one size fits all and
          we can have it all. It takes a warrior with
          inborn shamanic powers to comprehend, grasp and receive the essence from their teacher.
          It’s the fastest way for those who have the calling. The people in Topanga were frauds…working for demonic energies- bringing the cattle like people into a type of sexual energy feeding frenzy- they couldn’t tell it was impure because they felt the power of the entities- I knew the difference and so I left- the Guru psychically attacked me for a couple weeks afterward- and I burned ALOT of sage which helped keep him mostly under control.
          This isn’t just a game, entertainment or hobby. It’s real AND for those of you with shamanic callings who choose to not cultivate potential- that won’t go well either-or keep away the energies- because your light is still different and noticeable to the astral world and they
          like to play with you- so best to learn the ways and know what you’re dealing with-
          instead of just calling me a crazy witch.

          1. And it’s also totally internal.
            That’s the essence-
            no sex workshops etc- not TANTRA.
            It’s WAY deeper than fluff and go…

          2. Thank you for what you have shared.
            i am going to take some time to more fully absorb and embrace all that you have explained.
            if i have further questions, i will ask then.
            i guess this is why i have had such a perplexing time understanding since it seems to be less tangible and more of the realm of imbuing and cosmic saturation.

            Thank you Sharada Devi.
            i would never call you a crazy witch.
            my loving gratitude to you always.

          3. So to be able to have a tantric experience,
            which you say is 100% physical and may be sexual…
            must one be living a sexually active life?
            is that a necessary part of it?

          4. The transmission from tantriks is physical-
            the transmission does not have to be sexual
            in nature- if you receive transmission
            (such as shaktipat from tantric master)
            the merging of polarities can occur within the individual without a partner.
            However, in relationship to a partner
            it occurs between the two people-
            the creation of God in the sense that only
            God remains. It’s not a weekend workshop.
            It’s not a sensual exploration. It’s real spiritual practice that takes preparation like anything else.
            It’s ok and can be easier to go it alone-
            and take sattwic path of inner polarities through visualization etc.
            Ok- so it goes both ways and depends on
            the nature and karmic propensities of those involved. And there’s different paths in tantra- the path chooses you and you’ll know.

  3. what can one say, since all words are a lie? The mind of demons spins and spins and are they not just us demons? They seem to wedge into the cracks of leaking guts and never stand up screaming “stop this madness!” You can’t because it’s the end of the show.
    THERE WAS NO ONE THERE TO BEGIN WITH, JUST FLOATING BEADS OF LIGHT. We make up the game and play it out. But now the end has come. The saints and sinners have merged and the shaman puts them in the iron triangle and burns them up. She is the dance of death. Like a ship this body sails into the sky. Here on the side of the road, old and in the way, can’t find the key. It’s under my mother’s pillow. Born into pain and suffering and no hope from her madness. Sitting next to the limp dick. He is just always there running the show with nothing to say but stupid mantras. We have to celebrate the end now, for the road has run out. WE are all looking for the key. What are flesh and blood for? You see our mind is out of time and keeps looping endless desires like rats feet running in the basement. The end is dark and the light hidden, for she always knows what to do and say.
    If we could only let HER blow us up and be done with the future that never comes. Open and free like the breath of smoke, see HER going out into space. The end in only the beginning. Bhagavan das

  4. true baba i have a leaky gut i’ve been trying to fix it by eating only clean, no processed foods all organic, but still seems like some remnant of it is not being fixed, ALSO because of this leaky gut it makes all my energy trapped in my bowels/genital area making me constantly aroused, only after fasting for a few days and meditating does it somewhat go away, will i always have to be doing fasting so much just to avoid this leaky gut which im cursed with? also my eyesight sucks and i have to wear glasses, why has god cursed me with these afflictions and other people can just go around eating whatever they want and staying perfectly healthy. at least i’m not born missing a leg or something, praise shiva


    john kosswix

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