God made God
with hands of fire
and God found God
in the ashes of me…
bright one, who spills the sky draining out my name, pounding waves into clouds of thunder, falling spent and lost, sinking heavy, emptied into listless night, rendered shipless, I ate you slowly floating upon the pitted moon remembering your pale face…
everything takes time, everything takes fire…
bright one, red hot into me, swallowing you, my black hole stomach is the slivered endless space called ‘union at midnight.’ Deep down inside the cavity of my recalling, where I sacrifice reality for a taste of day old regret as gluttony, filling me with you as more darkness, never reaching for her hand when morning says she’s about to come…it’s not time yet, the moon isn’t full and I’m tired of being alone…just with you…light is a tunnel with an opening into my eyes…
but because everything you make dies, I keep her down bent beneath my black sun drawing little triangles and mending spider webs. Your hands were like ice, chewed to the bone, squeezing grease from dry heaving thoughts and choking on the sweat of airless blood. How could you make a shape or tie a knot into a string? How could you grow old without me?
I was there watching her always knowing she would leave. And she wasn’t even a human but more like a snake with too many bones. And she wasn’t even kind but more like a sickness that leaves you well. And she wasn’t even pretty but more like a beauty that relentlessly captivates. And she wasn’t even real but more like a torture that becomes some peculiar form of perfected love. I couldn’t find a reason to live and so I went to her to die…twisted in rage and too many numbers…
When I arrived she looked at me and said, “Your time is up” and although I was down, she said nothing. I can’t live without her and I’m flat on my face. She won’t let me die and there is a clock on my back. She laughs when I cry and she screams when I’m quiet. She looks beyond anything I can imagine. All I hear is the ticking of the clock as time is wearing out my welcome. Her room was blue and filled with smoke. Her eyes were gray and filled with sparks. Her legs were long and sure of the ground they carried. And I, as her pillage only sighed as she stroked me. I could have been so much more and I know
she doesn’t last forever…in any form that she became, the noises always changed and whenever I tried to touch her she would evaporate only to return as someone else. Sometimes more vivid, more mine. Sometimes more hard to define like a shadow behind a flame. I was defenseless and so I lost my name on her living room floor. She wouldn’t help me find it either, she just said, “too bad” and her eyes were always somewhere else. I was power beneath her feet but she never stepped on me. I was useless in pursuit of stillness. I am me, temporarily maxed out and perpetually outdated.
She comes and she goes. I can’t determine which direction I’m facing pinned in all four places by the mother of god. I can’t tell if she knows I’m even here sitting and staring at her while she disappears into another endless hallway…
and outside the window I see the white snow, it seems like I was never here. I wanted to die but maybe I’m already dead and maybe that’s why she let me in. I wanted to live inside of her and feel what she feels. I wanted her number. I wanted her fire to end time. But I couldn’t tie a knot and I couldn’t lay on my back.
Her ceilings were too high to even see the star I could have been. It’s her sky, not mine. It’s her everything and I’m not even here. I pretended I knew her and I told everybody, but nobody even knew who she was. What a waste
without even a page or a picture or a one night stand…
it’s useless remembering anyone’s name, even God’s. I can’t make any lasting impression and she barely looked at me anyway. And even when she did, I knew she loved someone else, someone beyond me, locked in the prison of my furrowed mind. She’s out of my life and I’m not dead to her, I’m just forgotten by me…
Forever love in the angles of time. Forever hanging draining blood into rock. Forever your voice in my shadow. Forever the prayer of her foot on my heart…
and until then,
only nothing but me.
Sharada Devi
Like the snow we go rainbowing again and dream ourselves awake like the shattering of a coconut dropping on our head. phat phat phat she yells as the crystal blade slices through the long cold night of worry and dread -dread over the long forgotten dead. They are the skeletons fucking in the rain as the fire and smoke of burning flesh fill the air with sweetness. Bones crack and tires squeal in the 7-11 parking lot and the red and blue police lights dance in the dirty windows of the stores out on main street in the downtown doom and gloom. Another moment blown in the wind of Mamo, pure bliss as she sticks the crystal dagger into your heart. It goes all the way to the other side of forever, and here we are stuck in the womb one more time. Dagger stuck in the tight and wet as the deep light seeing inside the darkness but still we suck our thumb. NOW get up and sweep the floor and open the door and throw out the thoughts of everyone who ever lived and died to be born again. Dance and sing, hit the drum. Listen listen to my tone as belly OMMM and be the end all -and then start to hum- and find the lighter and flick the wheel and hold the flame to the tip of desire and look deep into the eyes of the world. Who is She? The Guru sits naked in the sky drinking and smoking, with a plate of raw meat before him and blood all over his smiling face. You got it, now do it over and over and never give up on the world. She doesn’t…
Ok Mani Padme Hum,
Bodhisattva Mamo das
You know the dance.
get in line and wait your turn
buy a lotto ticket and hope you win.
Rich at last. Rich at last.
Thank God almighty I am
Rich at last!!!
Hahahaha!!!!
scammers.
don’t be bought by money.
slave is a slave is a green
blowing monkey…
It’s called a blow job..
so dance for me blue icon
carved in stone
your name
like superman,
man of steel.
big and payed for.
In CASH! Hahaha!
immune to poverty and
little fears that make
big vices..
Hahaha and still he carries
the bones behind him
as a reminder of his debt.
I love you richer every day…$$$
see me smile for free!
You’re magical
So I wrote you a poem.
Light the End–
I exist, a rock.
I give it up, scattered leaves.
You, wind
Me, blown
In out
Up,
Down
In.
Everbeen-
Under a waterfall
It’s too much,
Ever been
A waterfall
-It’s not enough https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WpyfrixXBqU
P.s.- my mom loves this song
thank you.
so sweet you are,
giving it all
back to God
on the floor
seeing high
into low…
and poised
for perfection.
Thank you
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HBkOUANs_UU
sacred til the end,
and you are…
“And I’ll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it
And reflect it from the mountain so all souls can see it”
And reflect the the whole world. till Ma is done singin.
I believe you.
water on the moon
full of thirsty light.
beloved twin rock,
solid bottom heavy
and carrying lost souls
across the deep sea
of make believe.
Thank you.
water into wine…
Humbled, I lay it down. You (do) so much! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u__t67iX2oU
And for everyone else: (if you can Listen.
https://youtu.be/rn8DF7JDufw
:DDD
P.s- I love you :ddd
you are an artist with soulful, beautiful eyes, and your magical gifts are heartwarming and genuine- just like you.
🌟so meet me in the starlight world🌟
You lift me, star Spangled *
Deep felt, black Portal •
Endless reunion, 888 O
I like this.
888 is the code
to enter
the black portal…
‘ more like a sickness that leaves you well.’
this is what is happening- a true new lightness of being
like a heavy stone lifted off a chest held down and not breathing rightly for a long time
there is a solemn peace in an empty vacuity
where ticking clocks go on holiday
and actions don’t speak louder because there are no words
just a filtering pinpoint fissure where the pressure hisses out
the feeling of decompression – a long cleansing exhalation
that goes aaaaaahhhhhh….
finally!!!
such is this new perception of a tangible shift
a quick left turn
no plan, no thinking
hands off of the steering wheel
an instantaneous letting go
the red Queen calls it a nervous breakdown ( she really did say that )
in her archaic language where control holds sway
i think i will call it true liberation
suddenly every thing is different
like grey has a spectrum laced around it’s edges
this must be what surrender really feels like…
We pay a big price for surrender.
and it’s not easy coming up with the
payment but somehow it happens and
we don’t even know how, but it was
worth every tear soaked penny and dollar.
And nobody understands because they are
still saving up for the big day of their
arrival. Success is a deep letting go
stronger than action or word.
nobody can tell you until you get to the
gates what comes next or for how much…
take everything from me
I am nothing without you.
Sharada Devi
P.S. I love you.
YES and yes and yes
Thank you for the invitation
to keep taking,
Dearest One,
because my pockets are turned inside out
just like ‘me’
and i am nothing without you
i need you still and still so much
even with striving and renewal
redemption and achievement along the way
i will ALWAYS
in all ways
still need you
Love does not let go in any realm
‘”It just keeps on holding on…”
and you are the reason
that keeps me…
I love You Sweet child
of the bright 4am night sight light
keep taking what?
it is always better to give
than to take…
Oh,
“Keep taking everything from me
I am nothing without you”
I was talking to God…
And so should i have been… talking to God
instead of tripping and stumbling on words
i woke up with a feeling that what had been written
was not quite right
thanks for setting me straight.
Thank you God
I love you God
crooked straight
it’s all going in the same
direction!
She moves it, Earthquake!
for God, Only.
such a beautiful song…very poignant…
i miss the love within the sound of your voice…
you know what…
always…
inside the dark cylinder walls
of her knowing
is bird light
my love,
bright.
I brought you back the sun…
Hey Ma
First thing’s first, Today, let me Always remember-
Let It Be
That I can’t breathe without Ya. In a whiteroom, darkroom, no room,
Whatever it
Means
Let it be That
I laugh with
The smile,
sunshine on a mountain
In smiling Space
Smoking this place
O O Omah
Oh Ma Ahh Ha *•O…
you are so sweet and adorable-
with such a wide and opened heart!
❤️☀️❤️
i see you
you are me
and i am you
you are a deeper more beautiful expression
for you have embodied the totality of it all
i am still timid
at times
i am still curious
at times
i am hungry
at times
i am empty and full
all of the time
Trinity,
you sound like the bliss of body on body
and the light of no dark left unloved…
Trinity,
her and him and the love they made
that caught the world and spun us
into visible shadows of golden words…
and God never got lonely or ended
the eternal moan of the moment
they touched the inside
of each other’s perfection.
Trinity.
it’s Good FOREVER hahaha!
i no longer know this bliss you speak of
you say my name and play with me
you are him and her are you not?
this is the nectar that draws me in
HaHa
in Grace to you my Lady, I bow
Trinity,
In the name of him
and her
and the cloud we make
I bow…
to become the bliss
means forgetting you know it…
you’re really are the
song you sing
are you not?
Hahaha
Trinity of the nectar…
Sharada Devi
You are a precious Gem xo
I am waking to the song I sing
And you are in my dreams.
You have left a footprint upon heart
Loving you from a distance, Keep Shining
Trinity~ Maiden, Mother & Crone
Trinity beyond time and space
always a cherry on top
just for you…
🍒Om Mani Padme Hum🍒
*where the ❤️ found food…:)