left for free


to radhe, (the reason why is)

ever since I left the casket of his wife

people stopped reading my blog.

thousands of entries and

millions of tears later…

you write about these dresses

from a body long ago.

nobody wants to know what it’s like

to be buried by someone else’s life.

I am for free, I cannot charge,

because nobody wants to pay,

like I did – or even a dollar.

to me, who gave it all.

my self, my body, my soul.

I float, and I hear

what you are all thinking.

deep in heads, the sky particle.

needles, flesh, fear.

my words were there, listen.

however much you try

to escape, you won’t.

not until you’ve left the man.

the man, who uses, abuses

and we ignore the lies…

put your mask back on,

sacrifice your body.

pretend…keep pretending.

remember the lights…

in the basket woven of twigs…

that basket was woven of me…

the dresses were filled with the wind.

is that why you loved,

that picture, because

in that flash nothing had to be real,

just a whisper. a light not yet captured…

but it was.

the light that escaped the crowds

of the people who already left,

they belong to him, not me.

I am empty, not seen.

because it is impossible to stop

the flash and hold it…

and that’s what I don’t yet understand

about myself.

love. sharada devi

13 thoughts on “left for free”

  1. We leave
    A space called memory
    It’s there all the Time
    In our minds it pops forth,
    Image and word after
    Image and word
    One another — raw and wild
    Tumbling, rollicking, relentless
    And impersonal as Pluto
    And so kind of disturbing at times

    We participate
    With these people we meet
    Some of them “get” us
    Others we “get”
    And is THAT what it IS?
    Till then, ta ta?
    Don’t tell me it’s Life
    That’s too
    Undiscovered

    Tell me a story
    That tells of things
    After the devastation
    The hell realm
    The pain I bore
    When I thought
    “Ok, this is
    Taking
    A long
    Time.”

  2. I saw you as that woven basket,
    so filled with pure white light.
    I felt your essence
    in those dresses.
    Not “taken by the wind”,
    but as the wind itself.

    You, as daylight seeping through every fiber.
    Sheer luminosity
    Invisible embodiment
    of unique esoteric presence that need not
    be measured by the masses for validation.

    ~ for your worth is far above rubies ~

    Sky particle.
    yes , exactly.
    Of hexatoms and photons.
    At one with the stuff of god.

    That’s also how you appeared,
    when first I saw you.
    Radiant

    I didn’t see the man

  3. Love
    I woke up thinking about it
    In a romantic sense
    And this seems different. Creepier and less like a stuffed animal. More like a dancing wave. Creepy because in this story there is no hero. The heroin is the wind, the light, leaving. Space
    We’ll I feel it, and maybe space is as close to love as I need to get, because it’s always the last line that leaves it’s deepest mark- god that sounds too romantic… the romance of letting a bird fly away, into the light, and sky. Is sad, but not like the torture of that bird in a corner, and that’s the love I offer, from my own corner of the breaking waves. They whisper I love you, as they fall. Usually on deaf ears.

  4. I love
    The way
    None of it makes sense
    But by the way
    The way THAT makes sense
    Is clearly invaluable
    And if you think otherwise
    I’m right and you’re wrong
    See how easy?
    I thought so!

    Also

    I love
    The way
    People write
    Differently

    The Beginning
    Not
    The End

    Because
    The last cycle ended
    Already

    1. Like the writing you say makes no sense…the beginning and the end must be a matter of perspective as well. Acting like we’re on a line…I can’t say I agree/ some days I do and some days I don’t!

      1. I think the beginning and the end is most definitely a matter of perspective.

        I didn’t didn’t understand “Acting like we’re on a line…” Clarify? I just didn’t understand what you meant by that.

  5. Oh, I see what you were saying. Yes I think it is generally thought of as a line, yeah. But there is also this cyclical thing about it.

    I just didn’t understand what what you meant, originally, because you didn’t have the word “time” in the sentence. Somebody else might have understood that without the word “time” needing to be there like I apparently needed it to be.

    Umkay, cool. 😌

  6. slowly noticing
    they have all gone
    now
    sitting alone
    in the dark
    no shadows
    only breath
    to carry
    the worldly mind away
    it is only here
    remembering
    a deep wisdom
    witnessing
    the omnipotent
    non-self
    There is nothing that can be taken away……………………………

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