Laughing all the way to the grave


Don’t misunderstand me. My love is eternal and beyond the guise of this body. My friendship and commitment to anyone who has ever known me or who has even once looked upon me with love is unbreakable- and I will be there in the highest order to catch you as I have caught myself. From the clutches of fear, confusion and untimely death- you can count on me. Bhagavan Das is everything and I can talk as I do because our union is beyond this earth, surface things and stupid personalities. It’s so beyond that no matter how or what I say, the bond is eternally unbreakable because it is true everlasting love dependent upon nothing in this world. That’s why neither me nor him are hung up on externals, why there is no fear in what I say as -if it matters. He doesn’t mind. He encourages my blatant honesty. I do what I do because he tells me to, he supports it. He is not attached to himself. He thinks it’s all funny. We are not our bodies or the relationships we create within them- with whoever- inside of time. Roles, faces and reasons change. We play it out on the surface with full passionate involvement for the benefit of all who would fear to go there. For whatever reason- out of posturing particularly. We are not this, we are in this. We suffer fully and deeply to engage and transform this. I am so sure of my love for Bhagavan Das and his love for me- beyond the surface ripples- that no matter what anyone says or does- or doesn’t do- it’s trivial- because there is the ground ocean love that doesn’t change. There is the ocean guru. There is the karma we reveal. There is the shaking and the struggle. There is the pain and tears. There is the death and life. There are new names and characters. There are words and there is silence. And above and beyond- below and inside- there is the unchanging, unmanifest. Independent of externals and so confident in it’s truth, that anything and everything can happen- and nothing changes. That is the fun of our love. Me and Bhagavan Das cannot ever be separated is why we can do whatever we want, come and go. We do it for each other’s growth. The guru devotion beyond body is so all encompassing for us both that the freedom to move and destroy is unlimited. And the peace to let go or hold on is unparalleled. We met in this time to free ourselves and each other. To set an example of fearless freedom- no matter how the judgements fall. We answer to our own hearts. We are a friend and an ally to a spirit that cannot be extinguished. We will never be apart. Don’t be hung up on names and numbers. We are actors in a glamorous drama. Calling out to God, “Help me! Help me! Save me! Save me!” Laughing all the way to the grave. You’ve got a friend.
Sharada Devi

99 thoughts on “Laughing all the way to the grave”

  1. A Divine Image

    Cruelty has a human heart,
    And Jealousy a human face;
    Terror the human form divine,
    And Secresy the human dress.

    The human dress is forged iron,
    The human form a fiery forge,
    The human face a furnace sealed,
    The human heart its hungry gorge.

    William Blake

    Have appreciated W Blake through the years, the grappling with the divine and human, nature, light and darkness

    1. This is divine beauty
      You are deep wisdom
      Ocean mother Light
      your voice resounds
      within my heart
      Deep soul love,
      not alone.

  2. Dear Sharada Devi,

    We as a planet are (as i’m sure you are aware of) going through immense, monumental change. As a result, I’m noticing people who are within my circle dying/divorcing etc. The ego wants to end it all on its own accord/rather than end according to God’s will. I know relationships are being tested now, including my own. I believe I share a bond with my partner that is very similar to you and Baba’s. It’s reached a point where she will act so pyschotic (the extreme personality fault of women) to my stupidity/anger (extreme of the male personality fault) that I don’t react any more to it. I may raise my voice and appear that I am engaging but I know longer think this is it any more. We are all reacting to the extremes of our gender’s traits. Of course people are responsible for their actions. I intuitively scanned where you should teach at, and it came to no surprise that you should stay put. Maybe you already received that answer because that was from the previous post. Whenever, chaos erupts I start thinking of where should I go to. Although I certainly have done that, it has reached a point where I can no longer run away from whatever it is that is telling me to go. I don’t know you personally, but I feel obligated to share my empathy with you because I know the feeling of your expectations of your India trip failing and so and so forth. I planned on living in Bali, but ended up being stuck in an awful job in polluted, sex infested Bangkok and was able to escape back to the U.S last year. Stay put. The East Coast feels too hustle and bustle/conservative. Oregon is very secluded and I think that is what everyone needs now. The energy is amplifying and and snow balling with each coming day. If you are truly connected soulfully, it will be impossible for you two to separate. Thinking of you,


    1. my sweetest wisest friend. I agree with you
      and I hope you come to mount shasta. You can bring your dog…I love dogs. I don’t have any- any more…I love cats too. Honestly, I do my best, but I’m not that into people at all! I think sometimes they can tell too,
      it gets weird.
      All around a planet in transition. Best to stay as stable as possible for sure. You are right as always. And the ghosts, there’s more ghosts than humans anyway, so it’s not such a shocking big deal when I just happen to recognize some of them! 👻🙀🐶♥️

  3. I’m in Portland now and it doesn’t feel very secluded
    Everywhere I turn there’s someone behind me
    Everywhere I try to walk there’s someone in front of me
    Whether They’re in my way or I’m in their’s, we’re all on top of each other
    At the same time I’m looking for someone
    Someone I met in New York City
    Who sang songs into my ear
    Who pulled me out of the hustle and bustle and pushed me into the deep blue ocean of You

    1. yours are the most beautiful words.
      heart beat, deeply felt, through
      the gray, street felt, the feet,
      that never land, but enter.
      through the noise, the soft touch,
      not inside the body, inside the love,
      she lives, walking touching whispering
      keep going…i am here…

    2. I meant that with exception of portland and eugene and a few other towns, oregon is for the most part pretty quiet. Thats if you can hanlde the weather. I lived in portland and couldnt handle it anymore cause it got too crowded.

      1. I like Portland for a city- the weather is only good for 3 months- it doesn’t snow- that’s good- it’s gotten a lot more crowded and expensive. Eugene is passable I guess. Kind of too real hippy dirty- Ashland is nice enough but expensive and weird…like a bubble- clean. everywhere and anywhere isn’t all that great- as long as it’s not too bad…

  4. what does it mean to be free? Free from what? Free from craving, looking for one more night. Death alone is stalking me, I feel the cold breath on the back of neck. It,s all a game of hide and seek, you see Her blood stained feet moving out of the Temple. She walks this world, naked and alone like the wind through the trees. Everyone,s eyes are Her eyes, it,s just a bloody mess and no rag can clean it up. The golden rain of the GURU is falling, it is all the blessings of the rain. green, green rocky road, dancing in the rain.
    The world is a dream, stop PHAT rowing your boat of desire, and sink. the white sail is all we have to cross the ocean of birth and death. Your mind is a mirror and your voice an echo, Nothing exists- not even nothing. Not holding anywhere is freedom. We must die every moment and dance on the floor of Shiva. There is only the little girl with the mango,s in the basket on her head.
    This girl told me this morning at the cafe that she was sitting by a big waterfall with her boyfriend and he fell off the edge and cracked his skull open before he hit the water.
    This moment is all there is, the black vulture is above your head now. let go and let life flow.
    baba and bodhi the 4th dog.

    1. I’m glad you’re making friends, besides just
      death I mean. Crazy is the freedom of those
      people…distractions, fruit, promises, fleas. I heard the song and it stopped.
      Lightening doesn’t talk. Lightening kills.
      And there is no need for blood or messes…
      or memories of morning. It’s the wind without trees to notice…my eyes. You were there…once at the top of his crown.

      P.S. Kiss that DOG

    2. Live this day like it is your last f’ng day. For certain. In a NY minute anything can change. My sweet downstairs neighbor was struck by a drunk driver nearly three years ago. She is paralyzed in a wheel chair. She is 28. Every day is an f’ng struggle. I see this…reminding me to be grateful for all that is right in my life at this moment. This moment IS all there is. The black vulture IS above my head…but I pay him no mind…for what would THAT do, but take away, from this lovely day. I have the jewel.

        1. You can… know you can….Attitude IS everything!!!! My mother used to tell me this all the time…..she was the most positive sane woman I have ever known. The sun is always out…just sometimes hidden. Sending sunshine sparkles your way…..Om Mani Padme Hum.

  5. Back to your previous reply–I would love to come to Shasta, but will see how finances are. That would be great if you came to Arcata again. Also, I still don’t own any dog cause the one in the pic is from the India ghats lol and I didn’t bring it back. I second that of feeling closer to animals and plants more than people. That’s why I can never really hold down jobs where I deal with co workers. Only reason I was talking up Oregon is cause I thought you lived there. However, the people do seem weirder there in a sort of inbred way thats hard to describe if you havnt been there. Off topic question-I had a dream of a star being. I prostrated before it and I felt its energy on my crown. It said that the world will be going through a major war. Can these beings be trusted? How do I know if they are truthful because I’ve also had some that seem like they are trying to distract me from my path. Today feels very 4D and interdimensional. Plus the suns out 🙂 !!!

    1. currently in Williams- OR- you’re hysterical
      about the weird people. It’s true! I like the slowness sometimes- less edgy than CA- where I’m from until BD 12 years ago.
      I agree about the inter-demensional blurring and it’s pretty obvious…what do they want with us, different things. But they are there- among us- over and under us- even in us because of what they did with our DNA-
      We should wake up- I’m wondering if they short circuited that as well, I’m working on it- thinking crystals and mushrooms- but then I also believe mushrooms to be like an ET STEERING wheel. This could go both ways I’m saying. And the sun out in Arcata!?
      Something definitely WEIRD about that- and after the dream…shaky reality. Where to go. It’s pretty clear, it’s unclear.

      Ps sorry about the dog I remember now.
      I met great dogs in India- the people not so much…

      1. the idea that our dna was altered in the recent past of maybe 20000 years seems really possible!! This may come off as a bit ridiculius but.. white people.. seem so far off from how life was evolving on earth.. maybe like part earthling and part something else. maybe white people come directly from earth life I’m sure that’s possible too.. but I mean white people look really foreign from ape ancestors. Not even to exclude other races.. it’s just as possible that they’ve been altered as well.

        1. White people ARENT white at all my friend
          from down deep…answer that question ok?
          Without getting too graphic, we need to know…

          1. I think I see. I can feel it sometimes. I’m not my little shell. My fear mobile. Just a little painting of a boy moving from here to there. No need for fear. yes people can see it/me. No biggie. It’s not like they are really. I wish I could not seem so cold to them though. People give me some strange treatment. My fear takes over sometimes and turns me into something more wicked if I’m unaware. I scared myself in my dream last night. I don’t want to have anything to do with that monster that was me.

          2. I think you are very attuned. Wise, alert
            and sensitive. This world is harsh when
            you mix in the gray, then you must match
            and grow dim…don’t fuck with fate. It will
            eat you alive. Realize your seed potential.
            Star child. Be divine. Why struggle and drag out your misery, it’s useless you’ll never fit in until you match…and by then, it’s too late my sweet friend. Take heed. The people are monster zombies. It’s too late for them, they’ve been eaten.

  6. Well technically in Fortuna which is a conservative town about 45 minutes south so the weather is better! What is your opinion on psychadelics/weed? I havnt had any psychadelics in over 12 years and havn’t smoked anything in 5 years. My main teacher strongly advises against it, however sometimes I feel like I need a little insight from it. Of course its hard to hide from the sensimilla in humboldt! And I do think ET’s may use it at their own whim.

    The people in India are something else. Just when I thought it was a genuine interaction, they wanted me to buy their silk! The Tibetans are alot sweeter.

    P.S I’m assuming ive gone way off your blog topic and this is more appropriate to email you. Do you prefer that. And let me know if I’m delving into material that I should pay a consultation for lol.

      it’s pitiful and you get fat and
      your house is always dirty…

  7. How do you use crystals to pierce the veil? I have a bunch in my house, but havent really used them I guess. btw I got spiritual nutrition!! (do blue corn chips count for the throat chakra?) Thanks for the advice 🙂

    1. Why not? They’re blue!
      Crystals need to be high quality/
      museum grade a+++ grade.
      You can get them in mount Shasta…
      they have this basement where these
      crystal beings live. Seriously. It’s a bit of a secret but she took me. I thought of them for days, I couldn’t eat or sleep…just the rainbows just the light, and it’s supernatural. They are alive and no one seems to notice or care…it’s insane. And they live just a little ways from us both. It’s a start, and there is nobody out there that can tell you like they can. Of course it’s subtle and you must be special- attuned. And then…unlock. It’s all inside.

      1. Hmmm are they under the crystal shop that was a gas station or the other one that is on the corner that has several halls and lots of singing bowls? Im intrigued now!

          1. I tried to find the crystal store you talked about – with the basement goods. I wandered through 2 shops and noticed there seemed to be a lot of crystal shops…
            I did end up at a store called Crystal Keepers, and bought a lumariian wand a bout 5 inches in length. 3 inches are clear and the bottom 2 inches cloudy/occluded. Weighs about a 1/3 of a pound. The owner’s name was Bluewolf…

  8. Like I said I know when someone is going to try and sell me silk! You should go to Stewart Hotsprings in shasta if you havnt already. The tubs are private so it does not have the wierd new age perverted feeling of Harbin and the other places. It supposedly has some of the most healing waters in the world.

      1. Stewart Mineral Springs ROCKS! Camped there many times and went there after your retreats! Speaking of soaking…another great one off grid, but not too far, is Mercey Hot Springs in Firebaugh, CA (off Panache Rd that goes to The Pinnacles). Clean, well run and off season mid week is quiet!!! Big sky, clothing optional tubs, tubs where suit required, and private rooms with tubs. Plus a wonderful mineral swimming pool. Sauna, as well. Lots of places to hike around and see birds (big place for owls) and critters. I try to get there at least four times a year now. Spring is the best…

  9. Ah, come on now – are you 2 suggesting that I got bilked?
    The crystal SEEMED to be speaking to me at the time, Honest it did.
    You wouldn’t be making fun of me – would you?
    Jeepers, that wouldn’t be very loving…

    1. I don’t know what bilked means?
      you have a big vocabulary, I don’t
      I just recycle the same words!
      Over and over AND OVER again!

    2. I think you jumped in between me and her and confused me saying she was trying to lure me to going to the retreat with talks of crystal beings and you thought i said you got ripped off. However this goes without saying that there are alot of nut jobs in shasta, especially someone named blue wolf lol so you gotta be careful with what you buy. Word of advice always order your vegetarian breakfast burrito from the market TO GO. Itll save you from having to absorb the shasta nut job energy 🙂

      1. You mean that lunatic health food store?!
        Why did CA have to get so sleazy??!!
        I ♥️ CA. I lived my whole life there…and then it flipped around 10 years ago…
        that’s the only area of CA I can even enter- Arcata and above…and it’s so beautiful,
        inland the sun and rivers, ancient trees, my love.

        1. Ya lol it is. Used to live in Santa Cruz and that area got tainted by the technies. So pretty much ya northern cali is the only place that is not yuppie or congested or materialistic. I guess a part of me subconciously likes being in Ca cause of the 60’s consciousness that seems to still permeate some places. Still alot more hip than the amish capital of the country-lancaster PA which is where i was born lol.

          1. PA- is the WORST- state to drive thru…goes on for days…and then there’s Hershey…PA AND FL are states you DONT want to drive thru..or do much of anything in really…

          2. I live in Santa Cruz, and I love it (except for the traffic, but my work in pet sitting makes it avoidable). I live close to beach in quiet Aptos. I like the old hippies and the young peeps from the university. Lots of artists here…very down to earth. Plus I like being close to Mount Madonna, Land of Medicine Buddha, Vajrapani, and Big Sur/Tarrahasa.

          3. I ♥️ Santa Cruz. Even thought of moving there just a few days ago. It’s in a league of it’s own perfection. ♥️

      2. Sorry if I appeared to jump in between. I was actually joking btw. But guess I best stay out of other peoples conversations …lol. No worries about me ordering any veggie burritos! But I did notice a lot of strange ‘get out’ vibes. Kind of like a – well You said it – nut job energy. Why are all the most beautiful places inhabited by the weirdest people?

          1. Santa Cruz is cool if you can live in the mountains and affordability isnt an issue. I would love to go back there, but the rent is pretty high. The Dalai Lama said that it is now a vortex. Lived there 2 years. Lived in an off grid shack. What an experience. Got to spend some time with Hari Dass before he got really sick. Santa Cruz will always be in my heart.

            BTW Chandra Ma, Im trying to start a pet sitting business 🙂 So good for you!

          1. Ian…AWESOME. I love pet sitting. Once I meet the clients, I usually never see them for years. I have them fill out a legal contract with my pricing and terms and conditions, and once we have established a good rapport, they give me the keys and from then on, they just email me the dates they are going away, and leave a check (but I give discount for cash) on the counter. I email/text them on how their “babies” are doing…and whala! I have friends for life! (the animals and the people with whom I never/rarely see). If you need any assistance about starting…ask me in a private message (

  10. Ok, before I exit from hijacking this conversation – might as well throw in my 2cents worth on nut job places – I spend some time camping out on a lake in – of all places Crystal Springs Arkansas. Now THAT’s what you would really call Nut job city.

    1. So no to Arkansas then? What about the Ozarks? As bad as US can be it’s better than everywhere else I’ve been! But I haven’t beeem EVERYWHERE…but enough to STOP looking elsewhere. Europe included, not my thing…too squirrely- is that word…

        1. ….Not so much in the Med countries. I have lived in Spain, Italy and Greece….very cool peeps and laid back. France, United Kingdom, Germany, Belgium seemed uptight (like where I am from in “New England”).

      1. It was pretty darn squirrely in Arkansas. Spent my time there living in a tent a stones throw from Lake Ouachita. The surroundings were beautiful. But the people were crazy. Everyone I / we met was sexually perverted, with a lascivious hidden agenda. ( Sorry, me and words…)
        The Ozarks are breathtaking. That whole southern region. Tennesse, Kentucky, Missouri too, the terrain was so amazing, but the people were jaded to what was around them. The people I came across. A lot of drug addicts and disillusioned souls. This was many years ago. So maybe things have changed for the better. Back then, I would not want to live in that part of the country. But your $$’s go a lot further in more remote parts of the country. There are so many spectacular geographic locations in this country. It kind of comes down to a matter of climate and personal preference. I think that You don’t like the cold. And am not sure if you did or did not like the desert.
        I have friends in Oregon – Eugene and Portland. I am told that Eugene is falling into “yuppies” taking over the older areas. And I know from photos from my friend in Portland that it DOES snow there. And just a few weeks ago, She couldn’t even drive for days after it snowed.
        If a situation lands in your hands – something that is promising to fulfill your vision. Then see it for what it is – a gift from God.
        I don’t think there is ANYWHERE that is free from some sort of shortcoming. As long as we are living in the material world, adapting is part of the plan.

        1. It snows rarely in Portland. It’s gloomy.
          Eugene/ has a lot of people who smell bad basically- it’s true, sorry to offend…
          and billboards…and this horrible orange and blue sports team…southern OR is ok,
          clean, space, already here, already here, already here, tired of moving…and everywhere sucks and not somehow- you’re right! So…I guess I’ll get a pickup truck.

        2. You’re right Radhe. There is really NO perfect place, however, after moving and living all over the country and the world, I can easily say, that Santa Cruz wins the prize. First of all, the climate is like the Mediterranean. The majority of the people are super nice (mostly liberal, sprinkled with some conservatives)(I have worked all the elections since moving here and there are more Reps than I thought! but everyone gets along). There is always some great music going on tons of artist events…yoga everywhere…regular kirtans, sound healing events…outdoor music, redwoods, ocean…open beaches with few people (summer has areas that are crowded so I go to the far away ones). Lots of healers here…Reiki, massage, Breema, Rolfing, etc. It’s also a great place to be single (older or younger). One of my best friends recently lost her husband to prostate cancer, and she is finding out that it is pretty easy/comfortable to go places without a partner or friend. Lots of free events at the university (great lectures and music). Open-minded thinking here, and helping those in need are big pluses. The down side is, like Ian said, cost of housing. Oh…and traffic during peak hours/seasons.

    1. You guys r 2 much!! All this talk about how not good south of Shasta is.. I can feel it. I’m in Marin.. The redwoods are definitely cool. No doubt no doubt. But the peeps are nuts! SD said a while ago that Marin is at least better than Orange County which was where I spent my entire life.. well, I went back to seductive OC last month for two weeks and it’s.. cray in a way that makes ya wanna say PEACE to this. Too comfy and brainwashy. I had to get back to north bay. A couple of weeks ago I drove the furthest north I had gotten and it was beautiful! Ukiah haha. Defientely still south of Shasta.. but still eye opening fo sho.. the truth is guys, I don’t want to deliver food anymore. I want sweet release from this city job. I wanna do something different. Do you guys have any recommendations on what a good job would be for a… guy in a van.. lol. I want to go norther and norther.. my job may become available in Portland areas but still not sure if that’s what I want to be doing… 😂✌🏼🙈❤️I also want a road dog!! Just little a dog that is potty trained and just wants to chill out

      1. Sweet Angel. I’m going to think about this.
        Of course trimming pot is huge in Oregon.
        And people make good $ in that industry.
        I have connections if you come.
        Stay out of OC. It’s worse than the worst.
        Marin is super $$$ but BETTER than OC.
        I KNOW. Been there. No escape. Not laguna not anywhere. It’s possessed by the OC DEVIL.

        1. I did the weed thing last summer
          Not bad getting paid 20/hr to leaf…
          Just dont work for a criminal! I learned that the hard way
          I probably have the record low for trimming.
          .5 lbs in a couple days…
          If you can handle sitting in a cramped position for over ten hrs then it could be for u
          I just couldnt do it
          I even still have a pair of un opened scissors…
          20 bucks they can be yours lol
          You can also landscape, both on pot farms and regular
          Teach esl online, be a sub teacher pet/house sit
          Thats what i do off and on lol
          Not to mention a world leader in selling idgeridoo mouthpieces lol
          Just gotta put your finger in many pies
          If you can knock out rent by living in a van
          You have a head start 🙂

          Btw is trimming right livlihood?!?

          1. Why wouldn’t it be right livelihood?
            Is delivering gmo food? Is working at a pharmacy? Is making money on god?
            It’s all fucked up ok? Deal with it!
            Haha♥️ big fucked up sucks that’s life
            unless your parents are rich and you sell your soul…we try to call it tantra,
            but it’s not. It’s just FUCKED.
            Be happy and fearless anyway. Meaning
            DO IT YOUR WAY😎

          2. Hi! You do make it sound tuff. I bet I could find a way to make it work. It would be nice to make good money. What I would use that money on.. ? Maybe car work? I do want to get a place again one day.dont know how that will happen but whatever my car is fine for now.. I would love to landscape anything. I love gardening. What do you guys think about cutting leaves and trees and stuff? I like to slack line a little bit and I always feel weird tying to trees. I don’t have a degree dude!

      2. Pablo, At least feel grateful that you got to live in luxury
        Your the Buddha who gave it all up!
        Ukiah is nice, you should go to Oor hot springs.
        I gave my two cents about the weed thang
        And if you don’t smoke, think of it as a test of temptation lol
        I did it for a while and didnt use it at all
        Just ate the resin from my fingers after leafing and felt nice coming back from work 🙂
        Humboldt and Mendo and other counties in nor cal
        as well as Oregon Trim in the late spring and summer
        Although there is always indoor.
        However, with legalization, the rates are falling
        You can dig holes, pull tarps and move dirt right now up until harvest if you can mentally stand it
        We need Americans to do it…Say no to Trimigrants coming and taking our JOBS!!!
        Sometimes its nice to do mindless work and get compensated well for it!!!!
        Unfortunately it feels like everywhere is becoming yuppified
        However, there are a few nice places left, which were mentioned somewhere in this blog
        I don’t know why Im commenting the most on this particular post
        Sharada Devi, give me the heads up to pull the plug and stop yapping!

          1. It’s true I don’t know who I am or what I want or what to do… I know I want to eat mushrooms again.. I know I need to cleanse entirely. Other than that not quite sure. Everything else is just habit desire. I used to be really into music and I still like to play and sing but.. i want to do it the right way, not the trip way.. I’m so thankful that meat is off the menu. It just makes too much sense. Don’t kill animals. Unless you really have to.

        1. Oh man I’m still in that luxury. I have a great bed in my Sienna. So, so much better off than most people in the world just because of my landing point and vessel appearance. You give me way too much credit. I’m still stuck in my vices though.. getting better in bits. At least I’m not eating meat rn. I do smoke. I’m a stoner I guess. Does it make a brighter day? Maybe.. as I’ve gotten healthier the weed doesn’t affect me *as* negatively as before. If it wasn’t for weed I wouldn’t be here I can tell you that. But I mean.. maybe I should pump the brakes at some point or just change it up in some way. What about you Ian, what are you into?

          1. Hey Pablo,

            I’m glad this blog is bringing like minded people together. Ever since I saw SD flip out about a comment that was not related to her post, Ive been hesitant to talk as much as Im doing now. But I think its good 🙂 So anyways, I’m living in northern California now, humboldt county. You sound very similar to me. i’m very into music, guitar and other instruments. I can understand the ego thing with music. My ego has taken a big hit because of the fact that I havnt been really able to afford all the equipment to make me sound what I would like to sound. I also sold almost all my gear when I went through a detachment phase in my life. Since I had a pretty powerful LSD trip almost 12 years ago, I knew that I could not rely on substances to go the extra mile. Although I have smoked off and on since then, I feel like that that desire has gone away. But that does not mean you have to do that. You’ll know when to drop habits. Also when you drop them, it does not mean that you have to mentally ban them forever. That just makes you uptight and judgemental. Im slowly learning this. If I was born on the west coast, I may not be still alive because my addictive personality is pretty strong. And the west coast as more drugs than the east. Needless to say, those substances have opened to door to god in this life at least. Extreme suffering will “pump the breaks” but that isnt something that anyone wants. But I know suffering has really cut alot of my habits, because they do not make me come out of it any better.

            I dont know about you, but if your finances are str8 I would keep traveling and be a free spirit. Travel the world if you havnt or atleast the beautiful parts of this country. I’ve had to work pretty hard so alot of my energy goes into survival. But I’ve made the choice to not be stuck in one job. With landscaping you can get a truck, mower, weed eater and some simple tools and charge 20-30 an hr. It feels nice to work out doors. When I get tired of that and feel the need to serve, I work in schools. I’ve taught English in various countries and you can do that without a degree. Make ads on craigslist and the work will come to you. Try to have a solid practice and do it until you die and do it in the bardo and so on.

            Jai Ma (Ps I know nothing and am just trying to give a kernel of what little knowledge I do have and Im not trying to be spiritual or act like im above anyone else.

          2. right onI’m sure you’ll figure the music thing out 😎😎. I have no idea what or when my next move will be but I have a feeling it’s just going to happen the right way at the right time.. I’m hoping it does, I’ll be free in may to start trekking maybe even April I just want to get to cool lands. My finances are bad! I’m bad with money. but I can save up for things before they happen.

    2. …..sounds good, but if you want to do pet sitting, it may limit your client base for pet sitting some people may not want you to bring your dog. I have a cat, but she is easy and I can leave her alone in my house. Just saying, in case you had not thought of it.

  11. Ya im tired of moving. Feels like i crash landed here. I guess ill pretend to be a human a little while more. I like southern oregon alot. The trees are alot different and feels more northern ca than oregon. When i lived there i never considered myself an oregonian. Something about that term….

    1. SOMETHING for sure…and in Woodstock NY
      they call themselves Woodstockers.
      What’s up with that? It’s weird, the over identification with it all…

    2. If I were to live in OR. I would pick Brookings. I love it there. I have thought about selling my house in RI, when the time is right and buying a small place in Brookings (or Lincoln area).

  12. I don’t know how to get a picture posted here. One thing about work and doing one’s own thing….I found that with my pet sitting business…it has fit me well. I live in a small bungalow, but move around and stay in beautiful homes taking care of sweet animals. I love it. People trust me (because I am reliable and responsible) with their homes and their pets. It is always different and always new places. Because I have done this for more than ten years now, I have a solid reputation, and can pick and choose my clients. What is also sweet is that many adjust their vacation/away times around MY schedule! What a trip!? Right? Anyway, for what it is worth…if you like animals…it is a fun way to make one’s way on this planet. (There are ways to do this overseas, too, which I choose not to do…I keep it local around Santa Cruz area).

    1. …plus, once I meet the human clients, I usually don’t see them again, sometimes for years. They usually give me a key to their home, so whenever they need me we do not need to meet again. I can just go in and take care of the animals. They leave me payment in their home.

      1. Until I got my feet on the ground and could make enough money to pay to live here in Santa Cruz, I had my hands in whatever I could do to be of service. For instance, I cleaned houses, edited papers for profs at UCSC, drove people to airport/back (in their car, so MY insurance would not go up), washed cars, and was a personal assistant (mostly admin/organizing/errands) for a gal who was getting her own business up and running. I rented a room in a guy’s house, then moved over to a room in a house where I only paid $325 a month, but helped the elderly (84 yr) lady (shopping, cleaning, lite help). It all paid off. I still offer services like that, but less so, since I don’t need to. Services are the way to go…seriously. And if you are really good at what you do, people will be willing to pay (really). I must admit though, early on, I took ANY job and did not charge as much for my services. I needed to build a good client base and have good references. I used to put cards and signs up and ads in local papers…but stopped when word of mouth took off. Whatever it is….be the best whatever you do (even if you f’ng hate it)…you get strong that way. Life can be a bitch, but slap it back.

  13. Lol maybe not flip out, but maybe irritated is a better word. However its hard to read emotions from a screen. So u may have been beaming with bliss.

  14. I agree with You Ian, it does seem that it’s hard to read emotions from a screen. It seems to apply to humor too. For me anyway… I sometimes get misread. I should take your lead and add a few more Lol’s and smiley faces… Hahaha!
    This is the longest comment session ever on Your Blog Sharada Devi.
    You asked for some feedback and here we all are jumping in and swimming around in each others offerings.
    See how much we all love You!

  15. lol I can sense that Kali is on the verge of wiping the slate clean and starting another post, cause these comments are going all over the place. Look what I started! Need to turn the focus back on God. Look what Maya did! Maya is a tricky one. I even got ensnared on a blog 🙂

    Thank you Chandra Ma for the tips. SD and BD surely have some wonderful followers.
    Maybe the reason this post has garnered so much attention is because of how powerful you and BD are together as a union of love.
    I can sense that with his old age, he may be trying to retreat to the forest and intensify his practice so he can prepare for the dying process.
    However, thats where you come in and say you can live another 30 years!!!!
    Jai MAA
    Hari OM,
    Forever grateful for this divine spark that unites each and everyone one of us!

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