just a moment of dust in the light

I went alone, by myself. Into the woods. This is only a dream, after all. I laid myself down, after awhile. Upon the earth. If I could uncover the great unseen, looking deeper. Alone, I feel. The darkness of the trees above me. Heavy I lay, just a body sinking down. Lightly, I float. My mind into an imagined sky. There is always something in the way. Skin, branches, thoughts.  If I could see through. If I could feel the entire thing…if I could believe, that something was mine. I never believed that god had a body but it got pushed on me. And so I gave it a try. Now after all these years, here I am. Wandering in a small realm. Calling out to someone beyond me. And so I left, into the solace of nobody but what I’d done. What I became, believing in the form that gives and ends all things. I feel the wind moving, I hear the wind moving. I see invisible things that can’t be divided. The forest for the trees. And i never became god in the flesh. And I never extracted the holy from the profane. Here I lay, slowly dissolving every lie I had devoured. The real truth may rise, or this may be it.  I am deep, as deep as the immortals. The wind howls inside me. It gives me great fear to let go of this body I have worshipped. Out here, in the cold. All alone. Prayer disappears. A diamond descends. Quietly I get undressed and step inside. Looking out now, I say goodbye to my picture. And nothing miraculous happens when I leave. Nothing hungry comes to eat me. No one follows my footsteps. If anything, there was just a moment of dust in the light. Sharada Devi

1 thought on “just a moment of dust in the light”

  1. Intense beauty in a spiraling speck. Grain of pain, blossoming face in the dark… I let you go and float, on the ground. Letting the light come and go. I will return to the light that nowhere went… somehow under the blanket of separation, I feel you. ❤️❤️

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