I used to try to be really good which made me think I was really bad which made me feel I was really hopeless because I was useless and I knew it. The dilemma kept me snagged and lying, twisting and cringing at the thought of me. Oh not the me, with my cute little practiced porcelain smile, the me with all my secret dripping poisonous fangs. Stop lying to yourself ok? It only makes things worse. He’s a biter because we all are, not because he’s a little dog with a lot to prove.

And I bet you wonder how I did it, how I became so perfect without even losing a tooth. Perfectly sanctimonious and sound, totally drinkable, as hot as any ass could be and as cold as a Queen. Hahaha! I’m not even kidding this time. I’m only laughing because the truth is so awesome and I can do anything AND you know the saying, “It’s never as good as the first time “Well, I am the living testimony that- THAT is a fallacy. I am better EVERY time. Trust me. Hahaha! (don’t you wish you could) AND I always make a lot of food so no one is ever hungry for more of my delicious poisoned love. I’ll fuse you to me like a wire to a battery. I would have said, “Look before you leap” but it’s more fun this way…squirming with desire, as confused as hell, whitewashed under heavens bake- all cooked up and worried…beaten by the best, bruised with red lines across your butt, sparked in the worst way, with no outlet but a brighter way to  commiserate. Hell hath no fury like my love for you! HAHAHA! I was like BAD but then I was GOOD and then I was like FUCKED UP and then I was FUCKED both ways AND from every direction and position -and believe me there are ALOT of ways to say, “Thank you Your Majesty” (that’s all you need to know right now) and so anyway, after a bunch of awkward borderline creepy and mutually sadistic scenes- something just popped like the Virgin Mary when Jesus was conceived- and I knew exactly which way to turn or bend -like some saintly jockey hellraiser whose mastered the master- she’s an expert- I AM- and you know what they say, “The GURU IS WITHIN” ain’t that the truth! (if they only knew what that really means! DUH- sometimes these sayings are literal-people are so stupid…)

So I did what I needed to do and sucked up to whoever and put it all out there- exposed to the world. “Are you a slut?” Funny you should ask…
what do you mean when you say, “How did you get there? ” It’s a fairly easy equation for anyone with half a seeing brain- head full and shockingly
absorbent- you gotta be the One. And it’s almost like being in the circus- like an acrobat and yes of course being flexible helps, I mean, can you touch your toes? Does it hurt to bend over? Can you do the splits? How long can you hold your breath? This sort of expertise goes A LONG WAY
in the right direction- and with nothing left to spare or expose for that matter- everyone knows already if your packing something large or small- if you can swallow the truth or are you just a big spitter? Are you a bear hugger or do you paw like a puppy? Do you ask for a Kleenex? (because that’s utterly pathetic)

So this is how I got enlightened. I mean, if you even care…like I told my friend with that naughty cat, it’s tantra on the HOTWIRE. I’m hot and wired is the point- and there is someone who can fix you, I know it. Hahaha! You’re driving too slow, you’re afraid, you’re not having sex with God (with a capital G if you didn’t notice) because you’re too intimidated-it’s obvious, so why don’t you just admit it so we can move forward into this wild progression of obsession becoming perfection? I know everything about that which lies beneath your rusty hood- get your foot off the break and stop watching other’s wriggle and squeal- be the ONE. Ok? I can tell you God moves fast- like for example, first base gets totally skipped- holding hands? Whatever. I don’t think so- stop being a BABY! Do you need to feel understood? Too BAD! Maybe you’re hoping for some prolonged eye contact- just to get that reassurance that we’re going down on each other now -and everything’s going to be ok- please 🍼
It’s now or never BIG BOY. And you can’t pretend you know the ins and outs no matter how vicious the technique-I love God (capital G- pay attention!) and you should too. And girls get in the way of their own toes, I know that- I’ve been there, honestly it took me about 6 weeks to get with the program…and the winner does take all again and again- and every TIME.

And the perfection achieved through a hit and run union is that you get hit and thought you could run…and the goodness of a one night stand is that the night goes on forever and I still don’t know his f’ing name. And the bad bad girl I have become is that I suck the daylight out of the sun. And I’m not even worried about being easy or intrepid or anything! I’m not even worried if you love me or Ohhh “Respect me in the morning” there IS NO MORNING! HAHAHA!
I’m so funny and sexy and deep and understanding I could FUCK myself FOREVER with no problem. Lips on the mirror and holding tight to the image of dry prickly skin and strange fat deposits- I’m sorry, did you think sexy meant looking at smooth shaven valleys and shiny lumpless slopes? No thank you! Not me! God is in the wind and he pushes the sky and the sky is eternally masturbating heaven into hell and the bliss of the rain that falls is that I accept the forbidden like a jewel accepts the shell it’s buried in. EAT ME. Love in the shell is hollow and burdensome. GET OUT. Love beyond the sea is where I’ll take you if you’re good so you can be worse than you were before you knew me, as if that were possible. LOVE IS BLIND. God, I throw all the dice, I make the first move, I take off my clothes, I come on and I come off and STILL you’re reading this going,

“OMG, Is she crazy? Does she really FUCK strangers? What does she mean? Is she evil? I really hate her. I wonder if she’ll FUCK me?”


HAHAHA and the lists of requests goes on and on and I try to answer every prayer, I really do and I try to be nice so you won’t be afraid…
but like that sign in the temple beneath His Holiness’s picture that reads, ” IT IS WHAT IT IS”
ain’t that just the truth sweetheart?”

“What is IT?”
I knew you were going to say that…
Sharada Devi

15 thoughts on “IT IS WHAT IT IS”

  1. It certainly is what it is!!!
    and I knew that you would get it
    about the red Queen, i mean…
    You are –
    empty space,
    a silver shapeless castle,
    red tears.
    she is clinging cheshire smile
    in a white tower
    where everything is soft and easy
    suffering must never be felt
    tears cannot fall
    where no God is allowed or spoken of
    but Tibetan flags still fly
    without prayers
    in a realm where “the little buddha”
    is ok
    in fact insisted upon
    but Shiva and cutthroat Ma
    are scary monsters

    YOU see why i had to get away
    screaming into the dawn

    You fucked me a long time ago
    and i have not even looked into your eyes yet…
    Fuck is in the heart of the beholder
    subject to perusal
    and you have bent me and shaped me
    every which way for eternity and then some

    It’s kinda like when you laugh so hard that you actually cry
    ( and sometimes even pee )
    what a release!

    laughter, love and lightening bolts
    and tap tap tapping
    on my crystal skull
    save me again
    and again and again and again ….

    i wasn’t gonna say it
    but hey “ain’t that my head on a bun?


    ohh, here comes vacuum man
    he’s showing me how much he can suck
    ( i think he is vying 4 attention )

    1. This is funny! I thought I posted it but forgot to approve- which is even funnier!
      ASAP gotta rake the hair…
      and I’m trying to pretend
      I’m not dying in the meanwhile,

      nowhere to go but back to her
      mess – obviously –
      plus the vacuum isn’t working
      and hair is everywhere!
      Confused and praying for suction!

      1. Hey, kiddo
        let’s climb up the ladder
        to the top of the slide
        and glide down
        top speed
        squealing YIPPEE!!!
        landing splat on our tushies
        then jump up and do it all over again
        cuz even tho some will try to make ya believe it…
        the sky is not the limit

          1. as deep as your love
            as deep as need be
            is the squishy mound of ground
            to be plushy on the tushie

      1. you are like a spiritual gangsta.
        i figured out that ive created a lot of pointless pain. Having trouble being nice to myself. Any prayers appreciated

        1. Sweet friend, join the gang!
          Who hasn’t? Who doesn’t?
          Prayers are everywhere,
          just take a deep breath of the light..
          Om Mani Padme Hum~

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