I attract desert nomads…
I attract spiders and serpents and scorpions -I hypnotize them somehow -and they just can’t resist the thrill of what I might do -of what might happen next I suppose…
I was standing in the desert just staring at the sun. What am I supposed to believe? Ive been told so many things. I guess I don’t believe anything. I pretend I agree and I pretend that I don’t. I pretend that I believe you and I pretend that I won’t but truthfully, I’m just standing in the desert and staring at the sun and also,
You’re my inspiration.
The desert is a harsh place to take your clothes off. The desert is bare and deserted, just like you when you live there. It’s not easy to be stranded and alone, isolated in the heat and dry as a bone.
“Didn’t anyone ever love you?” That’s another stupid question- because I know that they did not. Desert dwellers take a lot of risks and break only one heart, their own.
“I never really loved you.”
“Oh? And I never really cared.”
Everyone just keeps saying the same thing to each other as they crack and they smolder. How many ways will we adjust ourselves so the burning doesn’t hurt so bad?
Can’t you just say, “I’m alone and I don’t know what to do.”
I always knew I was alone. I always knew I was an island stranded in the sea. Everyone forgot me-and so I had to believe in God. And this wasn’t for any reason other than survival. You know,
all the creatures find ways to adapt to life on earth until they perish- ashes into the wind, guts down the vultures throat, rotting limbs buried in earth.
And I know you won’t believe me because how could you and everyone lies. But I love you and I know that your island is sinking. Jump onto mine is all I’m saying. And I don’t know how we got here and I don’t know what to do. I can only say one thing, I know how to love you. Because many don’t know this but me, the desert has a lot of mirrors and I’ve stared into them all.
And the desert and the island -seem as far apart as night and day- as far apart as me and you- and only a breath away from total completion. Consummation of what the heat means. Consumption of two islands that meet because they must. Somebody is always sinking. It’s going to be either me or you. So since we’ve lost the battle, shouldn’t we win the war?
what’s losing the battle: trying to stop me.
what’s winning the war: I’ll let you decide.
I’ve known so many scorpions, I’ve had two in my bedroom already. Arizona bark scorpions and they’re deadly. Bhagavan Das said, “there are no scorpions in your room” and I said, “yes there are” (he used to never believe me) and I found him one day slip by me and I caught him out the corner of my eye. They’re transparent you know and they almost look like an hallucination or a kink in time-
the way that they move- it’s something so real.
And the reason for our meeting:
it was either him or me. And I’ve already told you I was a killer, so don’t judge me by what I’m about to say-
But I got that hammer out and I slammed him and I slammed him and I slammed him HARD. -and he just wouldn’t die -and I slammed him again -and he curled up his tail at me and came charging (they’re very aggressive) and I slammed him again -and just NOTHING would happen -and then I backed him into a corner- and so like any good scorpion he turned upon himself -and started striking his back with the stinger on his tail.
Because with a scorpion, they’ll kill themselves before they let you do it-
Even they can’t surrender to my love right away.
Death’s blow is the way that I make you mine.
And the truth is, I just played along like I always do -and let him waste his time in the timeless desert battle between me and him- because you must hone your skills right?
It’s survival of the fittest and most ferocious- is it not? And he was probably thinking he should have just stayed under his rock and never wandered into my bedroom- But now that he had moved toward the light of my underworld, what he was doing before now-had to go. Really, he had to go- because…
his old ways just wouldn’t save him anymore.
I know that you’re hungry.
Scorpions are always hungry.
But in this case, out of my love for the game, I crushed his entire body with one final blow- and the thing is, I know he was grateful. I looked at this scorpion and I knew that I’d sent Him straight to scorpion heaven.
Finally. Release from bondage.
Let death come in the way that She finds you- and don’t bother fighting back -when love starts beating you with Her hammer -She’s going to win. Is the moral of this story.
So become a nail and just push through.
Because if you don’t -you just run around paranoid -charging at life. Numb. Biting and stinging yourself. And because you are smart, you know that you don’t really count –
until She finds you in Her bedroom…
I still think about Him. He was shiny and brave.
And I’m in the desert standing staring at the sun.
I think I see water- waiting for you- another oasis of lies and distraction. I KNOW what the desert is. I know there is no water. I know where to find you. And I know how you think. Because aren’t all scorpions the same? They never come into the light- and they hide under rocks, in crevices,
deep in the shadows – just waiting for the night- to come out- when they think that I won’t see them.
But I see in the dark, is the thing.
And who’s hunting who? Are you eating? Is she the hungry one hunting you?
Be careful when you think you found a crack.
Trust me, you didn’t.
And I’m standing here and the sun is starting to sink in the sky. I’ll be here for you. Jump onto my light. And the moon is rising like any other day and he’s starting to stir again, I can hear him.
And I’m ready for war, don’t worry my friend.
I’ll take you wherever you want to go- because your heart called to mine and said it was time-
to burn and to bite and to die into the Moon.
The Silver Gray Moon.
The intoxication of Her maddening ways has my
heart lost in the sound of Her footsteps getting closer –
She’s about to make the final blow.
Because I always knew you were there even though he said you weren’t. I was born a Scorpion and I became a snake and then a bird and then I became a fire that filled the desert sky and then I burned and I burned and I sent my ashes and smoke far and wide to cover you so that I would know who you are.
The chosen one.
The one smeared in my ashes.
The one with my smoke in your eyes.
It’s me. I put you here. I did this to you.
And after all the fires died down- I rose from the wasteland I’d created -and I made a home inside the summer moon. So that I could watch the desert and wait for you.
Ashes always return to ashes.
love obliterates and smashes.
so don’t think you’ve found another way.
because I will make a believer out of you,