This is only a quickie, but it’s hopefully the act that counts…plus I’m being friendly. I have no idea why I do what I do. Everyone wants to hope I know what’s up and not really…I mean kind of and I totally believe all my judgements and end of world scenarios- I of course, give all credit to the voices in my head. The voices that come and go as they please and the voices that write to you through me, the body part, in this biblical blog. Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s all wrong. I know my only thrill is a cheap one at that. I love to shock your pants off and I’m going to try even harder since I recently discovered my entire problem in life and that’s that most people who know me have categorized me as “spiritual” well I said, “Eff that prison too!” and I’m getting out. I can’t stand spiritual people, this Christ consciousness fixation, or the kindness thing. It makes no sense, this place is just one basket case after another. We’re all totally whacked and fucked, face it. They put us here and experimented on our “natures” we’re emotional and attached which is “wrong and not spiritual” or we’re anal retentive mind dicks and that’s “not faithful like jesus” well, it’s all just a load of fly shit…the catch is, we aren’t going to get this right and they know it. So they sit up there warming up those big electric chairs laughing because they’re sadistic and we’re stupid because we just can’t help it. And this isn’t an AA vow like “there’s a higher power and I’m helpless so help me.” No, this is, “we’re just going down ok?” And we have no idea how when why or what and nobody thinks that’s a little strange? I mean. I can’t sleep or eat, it’s weird. Like that’s the program and it makes no sense. A big sucking pushing tube that can’t shut its head off or stop looking for ways to please its holes as a way of existence? And WHY?? Because we have NOTHING else to do! Except possibly pray to invisible forces about this and hope for the “best” like where did they all go? OUT OF HERE, that’s where. And I’m not trying to destroy your happiness to the contrary my sweet friend. I’m trying to stroke you, strike you, bend you all out of shape so you’ll, what else?
Haha. That’s like the only choice and goal of the rest of us -to get worshipped asap. Funny, or get on a screen or stage so the cattle can laud you, so you can get obeyed, laid, paid – whatever it’s still pathetic if it’s the best we can do. I’m pathetic, I try too hard. Whatever, like I get it, it’s a joke. I’m also shameless. We’re all not the one on top of the heap, there’s not a top just a recycling, chewing bottom where we live a mind warping orge and we stuff with foods and noises then pray to get them back out, either with meditation or colonics and then we somehow some way some day die and all the while hoping, wondering if anyone ever “loved” us. Like did I love us, me? I certainly tried, one fuck after another, haha! Dime a dozen, I’m no slut just a connoisseur of what’s left to take. Body parts and pieces. Consuming that’s what we do here, is consume. And the heart wants to eat just as well as the rest. Oh, it’s a big “spiritual test” right…hope we get it right.
In closing, I don’t have a lot of time the next couple of weeks but I’ll do my best to keep you focused on me…and the return of the white horse. It’s Babylon, all of it. Love Blur bearing the boredom. Limb by limb, wing by wing….this carcass is on fire, ride the skull into deep inner skies, forget the outward eyes. We have nothing left. The shadow horse glides down from the end of the world and it’s rider is pale. White like a ghost. I want you. I want you now inside me. And it’s all getting shuffled. This day of the dead night of the seance between two bodies that roar. Lions wearing snakes, I wear the clothes of the wolf. We only have the flame, the tear drop of blood. Give it all away, surrender the slur, take it all back, the wet pile of sound. Scream into the tunnel, “I’m not here, this isn’t it!” You went away and time snapped in both directions but I knew it was over, had begun again somewhere else and this was just the exhaust of a long forgotten dream we came back to remember. Why? I keep asking and getting the same answer. “Because nothing matters that’s why.” And you better move sliced by the edge of the blade and you better know it all matters. I did this for you, I came back to forget. To remember. To remind, do not follow these rules, they will crystallize you into a cyborg. Do not listen to these sounds. They will rip you from your insides. Do not obey the books. Just keep whistling my favorite mystical love song…God is good. Real good. Sharada Devi