I guess you thought you knew me. Everybody always does. Since we’re all here together, what’s the point of pretending?
Don’t you get tired of pretending to be something you aren’t or something you are?
The backlash of denial is a whip with spikes and razors and She’ll beat your back and She’ll make you bleed and I’m not kidding.
There’s no one to separate yourself from, no one that you’ve risen above. I give every homeless person I see money and I bow. Because they are God -and God has had the mercy to show me the truth. That God too is a beggar, and God too is a harlot.
We seem to think we’re spiritual people but really we’re just people scraping up the sides of hell’s dirty walls looking for some deeper love that we can’t find. We aren’t spiritual and it’s a useless and stupid word. We’re organisms with a spirit and it’s a powerful enterprising spirit. So vast and worthwhile that God has his hand on us.
Yes She’s stripping us down in her dream world. Us, the virgins and sluts who can’t stop buying and lying. Us, the ones who want true love and are so pathetic we ignore the ringing telephone because we just don’t know what to say to the person on the other side.
But the line is corrupt. The line is dead. She lost her virtue when She stuck Her knife in you. And Her knife is freedom dripping from the blade. Because deeper is where we need to go into Her dream of annihilation.
Deeper into Her dream of yearning for the savior light.
On top of Her while She’s laughing the red light flashes and you’re the man She’s dreamed of. Beneath you, She’s a dream to pound and smash until you find your way.
And yes, she’ll have you over and over again. No need to ask.
He’s barely potty trained and headed for the streets to score a new conquest or a new high. And in the middle of the meltdown, a new secret seeps in. “This isn’t what it used to be.”
We’re here together for better or for worse and you shut out the vagrants and you disown the filth and perversion as if you were separate and pure. As if you never shit at all.
Well you thought you knew me and I let you believe that I believed in some God out there on a hilltop that keeps everything clean and smiling.
Some God that drops the sun in your lap and says, “remember your wedding vows”
Right. You know what you’re doing and thinking. All liars and frauds and I’m not excluded. I welcome the mess I’m in because I love you just the way that you are. We are here in this place not to exclude but to accept and to cherish every fetish and every rage. This is about completion and sex in the dark, not the light.
Why should you not love the one you sit upon? Why should you not turn and look at the devil that never gives up? Reading all his love letters written in scribe, should you not say he is a poet sent to release you?
It’s a trap. A pit fall. A conspiracy that something is wrong and that your completion is found in exclusion because it is not. And there are so many ways to grind the grim reaper. So many topless and headless women. But I love you anyway, no matter where you stray or how tight you fit. Because we’re here together and nobody is going anywhere until She’s satisfied that yes, Truly you are the One.
The One that doesn’t leave Her no matter if She’s a bad girl or not.
The One that doesn’t forsake him because His flesh is hotter than his heart right now.
And we’re all looking for an after hours remedy to the solitude and the nagging-knowing that something rare is missing.
She’s missing because you thought you had her in the bag. But She’s a cat whose out of the bag. She’s a hissing and purring wet dream. That’s who She is. And She’ll slip through your fingers as She runs her fingers through your hair.
“wake up and love me again” she whispers
In bed with black heat-ashes to ashes and the smell of burning flesh-the church of our smoldering souls-and that’s what we do here no matter who we are. It’s just that some of us are more sexy than others…sexy is on the inside turning you into pure quicksilver.
This is the world we came into-and we got hypnotized into accepting reality as half of an equation – to never belong- and it’s is a deceitful hell realm that never wants you to meet Her at all.
So then we belong here -because we’re afraid of our substance- which is Her and Her radiant black heat- which is the salve of liberation. The black heat that we pound and that pounds us back hard. Yes that’s right and I’m not lying.
Tantra turning both ways. Tantra ripping and twisting you inside and out. Can you make it through the night with Her?
I doubt it.
She’s a shapeshifter and a dreamweaver- and Her face and Her body will become whatever and whoever you need Her to be to make this dream real for you. So real that you melt and flow back into Her like hot lava.
Gone forever into the deep fire light.
The Forgiving Volcano. The Perfect Mother of us all -is everything you will ever need. So get in -because nobody gets out without feeding their soul back to someone. She’s the hungry One.
And if you’re still in denial, that’s ok. Because your time is coming. And She’s undressing herself through every word and gesture, through every taste and smell…
through every sweet and nasty dream of me…
plus we all know that you’re standing there erect and naked already…
naked and afraid of the the plunge.