NAMASTE’ everyone. I feel so free. Spiritual especially. I’ve already greeted others as Brother and Sister of the “OM” in several uplifting emails this a.m. I’m about to do my “yoga practice” that’s right. Then, some complicated Hindu chants. (like advanced mantras most people could only dream of pulling off.) I LOVE being really spiritual. As long as I keep smiling, all my self hatred seems to fade just like all those new age books said it would. I feel like saying “peace” to everyone less evolved than me- which is pretty much everyone…so I’ve got my days filled with preaching the light, teaching the light, smiling the light and decorating my body with anything of the light that makes me look like I’m totally informed on Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism, Sikhism…the LIGHT. SPIRITUAL THINGS….you get it, all of it. I AM that I AM. Obviously a very VERY old soul- a modern spiritual being. I know we are ONE- although clearly I’m the spiritually bigger and greater One. All you need to do is look at me, as it’s obvious that my new age light shines pretty much unmatched. It just turned out that way, but I will help you to catch up starting now- (BE HERE NOW-RAMRAM)-  as spiritual people are GIVERS OF THE LIGHT. It’s clear just by seeing how positive I am no matter how you fuck with me, that cheek AUTOMATICALLY turns the other way. That’s right. GIVERS OF POSITIVITY. Christlike. That is me. I can guide you to the light where all the dead spiritual people are waiting to bless us and hold our hands, leading us to the eternal nirvana prayer circle. Free of devil germs and all bad smoky things…negativity is NOT COOL on the path. For example, you might have an anger issue as most lesser beings (no offense) have. Well, do you know what I do when I get pissed? I smile. REALLY big. That’s what I do. Keep smiling waiting for the light to make it go away. It does. It goes so far down it’s never going to divert me from holiness- like EVER. I’ll keep it down forever if I have to. I’m just thinking, “what would Jesus, Buddha- whoever is spiritual- do?” They would be SPIRITUAL, that’s what. At any cost. Why would you want to share your meat eating darkness with a world full of death fear, instead of share your raw vegan light with a new age community? BECOME THAT LIGHT I SAY.  Become it no matter how hard those dirty thoughts fight you, no matter how bad the nightmare, how hard the hard on. PUSH THAT DEVIL RIGHT BACK DOWN INTO HIS SIN HOLE AND DON’T YOU EVER GIVE UP FIGHTING THAT BAD EVIL LITTLE GUY SITTING ON YOUR LEFT SHOULDER SAYING, “GO AHEAD SEXY NO ONE IS LOOKING, TAKE ANOTHER LITTLE RED BITE, A TIGHTER RED GRIP, ANOTHER LOOK AT THE HOT LADY IN RED.  *He’s the one with the horny horns, not you! The point is that others need you to  help them also be spiritual. They need your informed support. Your soft spoken rules. Your smiling yoga eyes basically. I mean, GOD, just at least bless a few people by email today or SOMETHING. It’s the least you could do for their confused soul. Bless them, send them your prayers of the LIGHT. Chant for them perhaps. Give out a loud JAI MA!!! To a pretty lady. A thumbs up to an act of kindness. When the chain smoking check out person at the health food store says, “How are you today?” just stop right then and there what you’re doing and look deeply into their sad, seeking eyes (it’s kind of obvious if you’re really on the path) and say. “How ARE YOU?” and REALLY like REALLY MEAN IT. And just stare really hard into their soul as deeply and intensely as you can (as time is limited due to the line) Just stare- even if you feel it’s getting a little weird or uncomfortable (that devil will stop at nothing to stop you from spreading the light) and PUSH THAT BLESSING into them whether they like it or not is what I’m saying. They don’t know what they need! You’re the fucking SPIRITUAL ONE AND DON’T YOU FORGET IT. I HAVE SO MUCH LIGHT TO GIVE. I CANT BELIEVE I’M ME. Ancient and holy. So pure and true…brimming with bubbles of God Light for all!

☠️Confess your sins and act out your poisons. Meet yourself before it’s too late ☠️

Sharada Devi


36 thoughts on “CONFESS❤️😹”

  1. I’m afraid of Sharada Devi. She says I have separation anxiety, like her chihuahua. I think I’m addicted to hugging her. Probably because of what comes through her body and her eyes; the way she moves. She is sexy, ok. But seriously, there is a problem with how I relate to her. Sometimes I obsess and she is all I want to think about. Or myself and how I messed up- how I can fix it, you get it. Like a dog.

    The writer arrived home to a dreary reality. He had lived here a long time. He sat watching the front door blow openly in the breeze because it had a broken latch. “Im leaving tomorrow.” He thought, “but first…” The best stories begin out of necessity, and he had to keep going:

    “Something unearthly began occurring before my eyes. The white swan started growing in size, changing colors perhaps, it was hard to tell, even to make out its shape, as it fluctuated. I could no longer make out the black swan either. Obviously it wasn’t a swan like I thought, I could still feel it- I knew it was still there, outside the changing light in front of me. Out of that dark, I caught another glimpse. This time of a more human face. Lit by a faint glow, I couldn’t make out it’s features, but it was definitely looking at me. Fog began rolling in and then clearing- I realized this was a portal. I needed to see more, and the white swan was my way.”

    The writer was feeling ambitious, but more than that, like time was running out.

    1. I like this. It’s very good writing. AFRAID of me…that’s funny. Baba said it’s because I have this thing that’s supposedly real coming out of my eyes called Black Air. Have you heard the breeze that way? Coming in, I mean. Watching and spooking the boy…or was the hug more like a possession of dark over light. An eclipse as a portal. That face…could it be death coming up from the water, like a fog consuming your mind. And then that heart, could it be hungry for the end…the dead end. Where you live might be waiting for me, filled with a death wish obsession and their crossing shadows that merge…waiting for dinner to eat you from the big chair. Black over white 😹❤️

  2. Amen! The light you beam has magnified my heart. Confession daily at my lovely altar. I am so imperfect yet so perfect at the same time. You have taught me so much (at retreats, on YouTube, and here on your blog). You are part of my daily bread! You are filled with light and lead me to my own light…connecting me to the highest and PUREST HOLY MOTHER LIGHT. We are one and the same. I thank God daily for bringing you into my life! I confess regularly….even on the spot when I do something shitty (out of habit or on purpose!) (yes, sometimes on purpose, embarrassed to admit). In EACH moment we have a choice to confront those shitty demons who really are not shitty, but are really great because they can help lead us to the light (if we let them). Bless every one as often as possible…send good vibes….OM MANI PADME HUM………..OM….Your light and love are so spectacular….MY HEART AND SPIRIT are illuminated by the depth of your expressions…..sending you love always…. MoonLit Mama

  3. Clark Griswold got lost in the desert and almost died…but he made it to a gas station where his family already was and paid $500 for four bald tires and a tow…he had driven the family truckster off a ramp at high speed and took off into the air landing 100 yards away…I realized my car seat was possibly not as good as it used to be since it’s almost 15 years old…it was hurting my back I deduced one day…I paid $500 for a used car seat that doesn’t match the color of the other ones and has a cigarette burn in it…they don’t make new car seats for my car anymore…but the seat isn’t twisted and concave like the other one became…

    I had a plumber stop by and he had to cut into the plaster walls with a saw to access some pipes that were leaking…he didn’t put up any plastic sheets at first and a ton of chalky plaster dust got whipped up into the air…he was like sorry about the dust…do you want me to put up some plastic covering…at first I thought he was almost done with the saw and said no that’s ok…then I realized that the dust was starting to coat everything in my apartment including my bed…this kind of pissed me off because I know that the plumber probably knew from using a saw like that before that dust would be kicked up into the air cutting into the wall…so then I told him yeah better put up some plastic curtains or something…we’re here to lose…

    then I got a call that my car was ready and ubered it back to the auto shop…the car mechanics daughter has some kind of handicap and is wheel chair bound…they park her in the small waiting area of the shop in her wheelchair…not behind the counter but out in the small seating area…the sky was a thick demoralizing winter grey…this was the second time I had seen her…she drools a little bit when she talks but nothing too bad…it wasn’t really even drool…just a little bit of saliva would kind of bubble in her teeth when she would talk…and she was coherent…she told me they work on all kinds of cars when the subject came up…she was kind of pretty too…a brunette…maybe early 20s…she was you…I had no problem being really upbeat and energized in my demeanor as I talked to her…I think her family appreciated that…people can feel it when you like them…she would greet me and say goodbye to me when I would come and go…I kind of felt sorry for her…welcome to samsara…

    then I drove home and the plumber was gone…he kind of swept up the kitchen floor…gave it a nice once over…but left all the plaster rocks and dust all over and inside the stove that I don’t even use because I don’t cook food anymore…I just use it to set my dish rack on top of it…how high class…man you are a real baller…then I proceeded to wipe everything down…wiping all the plaster dust and rocks out of the kubbburds and off of my expensive array of vitamins tonics and seasonings…there’s this rich guy that goes to AA that owns a hotel near where I live at the oceanfront…he has snubbed me a few times and my resentment towards him has reached a fever pitch…he’s extremely arrogant and when he comes up I’ve spoken to him and he just ignores me…I thought about slashing his tires…but won’t…he bought his house for $250000 back in 1994 which appraises today for over $900,000…youre not in the good old boys club…it’s not what you’re saying…but who’s saying it…

    im not envious…I get to eat humble pie all the time and live in an apartment alone…but at least you have the soft white shawl…

    yes…I do…

    I’ll miss you when you leave…man what a great year you’ve had compared to mine…west coast…Guatemala…good health…I’m going to miss you…I feel your compassion sometimes through the shawl you gave me and I get sad…

    free yourself then…

    no…not yet…

    1. We set ourselves up…then we make choices…we make choices that set us up.
      We do it all to ourselves…free yourself then…I’m going to India after the retreat…to find an answer to a question
      I can’t remember asking…but I know I did and my choice is coming back to get me…
      I keep setting myself up…and down when needed♥️ You are doing good Shane. Smile at fate and know God is real♥️🦋♥️

    1. Namaste! What do you mean by that’s what NEEM KAROLI BABA meant? Love feed and serve?
      What do YOU think? I mean if there was no
      such thing as NEEM KAROLI BABA???

    2. I think when we have that deepest devotion to Ram…that utterly supreme connection/commitment…there is no thought of what to do but to just do what must be done (feed and serve everyone). Right? I mean….it all is just natural…(second nature)…or whatever. Like, when someone is drowning in front of you in water…you don’t just stand there…you go in and save them…right? That’s it. But, the thing I am seeing is that most people are drowning and don’t know it, so WE have to take that torch, right? We have to purify ourselves…to BE that light…to help the people FIND that light within themselves. Feeding does not even necessarily mean “food” in the material sense. It is spirit…the holy spirit, right? Like that is what really FILLS us…I know when I am completely FILLED with the spirit…I am not even hungry for food. It’s like this high…an energy..that does not need actual food. Right? Love Serve Remember…. I put a baby picture up on my altar so I can remember that I once was pure (before I became trained and “socialized.”). Namaste’

        1. 🌙🌙🌙Chandra Ma🌙🌙🌙 sweet open moon flower devi. ♥️♥️♥️ heart all the way❤️❤️❤️❤️free to be free, flowing freely the LOVE.
          Thank you for all of your eloquent and honest words of wisdom and courage!🌈🦋

  4. Whew.
    Every day my relationship to God gets deeper. I walk around in heaven here on earth. My bungalow is only a stone’s throw (well a bit more like three blocks, LOL) from the Monterey Bay. Every morning I open my door and breathe in that amazing salt water, ocean coolness….OM….OM….OM. I light my Nag Champa, light my Palo Santo wood sticks AND my sage and five candles that sit around the Buddha on my altar. Yes, I love scents (senses). The more, the better, lots of smoke, so my clothes are filled with it. This is so I can get that scent and SENSE the preSENCE of holy god, holy mother light. My days are filled with promises made to people with love for their furry babies, that the are not alone, but will be cared for…by “Marty Poppins”. Yes, one of my clients called me that today in a text.

    So…THIS day is coming to a close, I returned home to my sweet nest to make amends to my cat who knows I have been with MANY others. I think about what to have for dinner…Kale salad, some Brussels Sprouts from Saturday’s farmer’s market and…hmm….I have really had a busy day. I loaded a bunch of stuff in a truck for a client and did some favors for others…and ….damn….I think I will have a glass of wine….and sit down here and watch a YouTube video of Sharada Devi and BhagavanDas. Yeah…that sounds good. Maybe one toke, too. SO…I watch “Are You Ready?” again (fifth or maybe sixth time…). Each time something else pops out. Like “Oh shit…the beaver has control now.” I feel guilty wanting that buzz. I used to drink more than a bottle sometimes. I would eat a lot then, too. I started a diet plan, so I eat much less these days. Anyway….I watch your video and get RE-inspired for the love of God and not living small. I don’t want to pat myself on the back, but I must acknowledge, I do help many around here (ego speaking, right?). Maybe it’s justification for the wine…give me a break. OY VEY!

    I love and am devoted to God, so why do I want the wine? The buzz (the beaver?). I talk to my man, John, about it all the time. He does not say much back, except that he admires what I am doing. I tell him that I don’t want his admiration (but in a way I do). He likes it when I meditate and do mantra at his house….but I like it better at my house because he is not tolerant of how much I like to burn. I am tolerant to his sensitivities, however, and I burn nothing there. SO…what am I getting at? I am getting at the fact that I am turning my life around. I know what matters. I slip and fall and eat/drink stuff I know is “worldly” and I still enjoy it. I know I can live without it…but I just don’t want to not eat it or drink it sometimes. Want want want. Yadda Yadda Yadda….okay….WTF? So…I do what I do, and forgive myself. I am SO aware every time my lips go to that crystal wine glass….I say “thank you Lord….” and drink more. Two glasses of Pino. (I like catching a little buzz…now that I weigh less…it takes less….). I really want to be super pure and holy….tried and true. My heart is there…my body keeps craving. It’s getting easier…but not always. Looping, looping, I see it as it is happening….

    Anyway…what can I say??? I am happy….and it’s okay….I am trusting….

    I love you two so much…I feel like you are my parents, my kids, my lovers, my pets, my plants….and I know it is for the love of God that these feelings are present. Because you are both SO devoted to God and to each other, and teach us all SO much, I do not fear those feelings. Sometimes I worry about wanting your approval too much (or at all really). I know I do not need anyone else’s “approval.” And so it goes…that is part of “my story.” I am on to creating a new story…..

    Tons of love to you…..always in complete adoration…..
    Your ChandraMaMaMaManiPadmeHum


      1. OM OM OM OM OM………
        I am praying and chanting for your safe journey to Lake Atitlan, Guatamala….
        I know it will be amazing….your hearts so open…you will empower so many as I have witnessed at Mount Shasta twice. My heart and spirit will be with you….each and every day…..
        I am so happy that you and Bhagavsn Das met…you are so good for him. I have read so many things about him and he really turned his life upside down at age 60. YOU two are magnetic on your own and even more so together. I tell John about you two all time and share videos with him. I keep praying he will follow me…but whatever will be will be….I’m not attached to any outcome. Not sure how much more you will be posting before you depart and then with you going to India when you get back…you might not be on here for awhile. I will miss you. Thanks for posting my comments.
        Much love to you…

        1. Thanks! I’ll be doing a lot more on my own…like india retreat. BD can’t enter India, he’s banned. And it’s important that I do. Hope you’ll come! ♥️

          1. Will you come?! I was thinking rishikesh would be easy- land in Delhi and take the train there- it’s the perfect place- not too
            stressful, temples, saints, clean food and clean Ganges, great shopping (which is important just like anything else!)
            and it’s got everything and is easy! I went there alone w no problem my first time to India…it was mystical magical and divine.
            It WILL change you forever. ♥️♥️♥️Coming soon!

          2. Some of the last posts have made my head spin and I’ve been a lot lost lately. I’m relating hardcore to everyone. I did write a confession on my phone but i was foggy and it was dangerously dumb
            I wanted to retreat with you guys but I couldn’t make it happen. But India sounds amazing!! I’m kind of tired of the cold for now. Can I come please?? I’ll have to figure out it out I think I can make it happen⬜️⬛️🔥🔥

  5. OMG….I would love to go! I actually have been dreaming about India lately. I have been researching when/where to go for like a month…I am so unfamiliar with India…I am clueless as to where to go, but I have read about some great traveling from north to the south.

    1. Right. Won’t do the festival. Awful new age L.A. social scene. I left hope to leave it all behind while still earthbound.
      Beloved ♥️☀️♥️

  6. GOD DAMN this made me laugh. I came back at just the right time. I was sitting with my knees to my chest feeling very warm and dull and skimming through the flowers and feel goods of the last few pages and BAM! I’m on my feet. I love it when you get fast and hard and LOUD. The kind of fireworks that make kicked dogs whimper and hide under the couch. Explode over their heads, Powder Keg. I’ll stick out my tongue to catch your falling embers.

    1. Oh, it’s you…again. People like you never seem to die…just linger like bad cigarette smoke. Dark smoky friend…stop sucking and blaming it on me…you should come to India. Wouldn’t that be fun and funny? We could teach you how to pray and love the divine mother as much as she loves you…

  7. Standing on my front porch , hands in the air and heart WIDE open, screaming JAI MA!!!! to all that can hear, like the birds, the trees, the deer. 😍🕉❤️ There is SO MUCH LIGHT today with all the snow, reflecting diamond like in the sun. Reflecting like the jewel inside US ALL! 🌟 I I LOVE EVERYONE !!!!! ❄️☀️💎✨ ummmm….did I hear India retreat !?!?!?!? Why do I get giddy at that thought !!! 😍🙏🏼❤️

    🌟Om Mani Padme Hum 🙌🏼

  8. Mm to be of Light
    To be of dark
    I just want to unify the sun and moon in me~
    My moon energy blooms fragrantly attracting all types of moon flowers
    And oceanic storms to embrace me
    Always pulling, tugging, and yearning for my reach
    Now I reach, but it is of the sun
    And that’s new to me for this season~ See I go bottom-dwelling like Perspheone
    It told me there is a crack between dusk and dawn
    It likes to pivot and swing
    Why was I doing gayatri in the dark
    It just was
    Then I weng harder Chandi Om
    Everything fell apart
    And she cut it down the cuts and soothed me
    I completed my words
    I turned to the Sun
    Finally as instructed
    I felt I was doing it “so right”
    Only a couple dayd in
    And then my mala broke clean
    right next to the guru bead as I shoveled the pathway
    Making sure it would be a safe entrance to the sanctuary
    It is a sanctuary even though it still has cables runninb through it, and is on the grid
    What’s off the grid?
    Where does Prakriti not get entangled?
    So, I was saluting the sun during daylight hours
    Wow, couple days in and I thought I am on to something!
    But the same old moon child showed up
    And now I have to try and convert her again
    And so well I will salute the sun in the dark
    I know she hears me
    And I want to embrace her
    In her Light
    I yearn to bask in her warmth again
    I yearn to go home in sweet union
    So mode it be
    Show me
    I call to you

    Oh so my teacher says when it breaks it all releases out to the Universe
    And it is ok to tie it back together
    It is just not the same
    I like this mind set
    I don’t want to hold on to this or that right way
    I do want to feel the cosmic ringing back in my inner ear~soft pulsing sabda~ one I can understand~ one which says: just Be
    I believe in You
    And I believe in Me
    Oh holy hallelujah or something
    Jai Ma

  9. I thought you deleted it but it awaits moderation~ ahh samsara laughs ~ oh cosmic joker~ I read: Names carry similar consequences to the original carrier of the vibration. Are we all just spiraling out from the dance of our original origin? I am melancholy to be honest the man cut me with his nail by mistake and im as Chiron~ not punished but learning to heal~ oh what it is to be Alive Om

    1. I’ve had no internet for two weeks. We’re in Guatemala. I have it now though! Thank you for all your sublime insightful poetry.
      So sweet and right on! 👍🏻

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