Blue Pearl


I can find them because they’re there. In that containment and while that might not be where I’m going, it’s where I’ve been and so I can pull the thread because I am the needle. That’s what I’m saying about lineage minus religious dogma. It’s the essence, the only hope is an alignment beyond materialism. Because like I just wrote to someone this morning regarding staying in another house: “It’s not a new home- it’s a temporary bardo like everything else- I don’t get caught up in externals- families and homes- it’s demonic getting caught in the soft warm prison of imagined safety…I’ve seen what it does to people and I’m currently in awe at how effective Satan can be. But I appreciate your support and the idea of it. Let me know about the plane- there is a time window- I think it’s 49  days or something where prices are lowest….”


Bardos- tunnels, hallways, throats, where babies come from- where penises long to be. The movement of in versus out. The bliss of the edge of not knowing. The contradiction is ridiculous. Why do you insist on pretense and denial? God, I’m just crazy with shaking off the fleas. It seems the poison is used for everything/ death, food, excuses, beauty’s greatest secrets. Longevity, spiritual powers beyond this world. It seems the choice is yours. Poison. What it becomes. It will at some point begin coursing through your veins. At that juncture, you’ll get hit hard by the side effects of transformation/ and it doesn’t have to be headed upward. Everyone dies and that’s something/ what we do- matters. And so, when your blood becomes poisonous-because now you’ve awakened the seed that spits out the black- it’s all up to the mystery of mysteries now/ where you’ll end up. It’s critical and you’re no longer a pale human but a blue snake- and not a bright blue- a deathly, losing oxygen- blue. Will you ever breathe again is the question. How babies take their first breath and are thereby considered a being in their is right- that’s you, where you might be going. Bridges underneath. Pushing body parts- purge the alien body- become another version of creation. What you did was eat it all. No one knows if you’ll survive and if you do, how you’ll change. Will you be blind or will you see? The light that now is the blackest of jungles. Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say because I realize friends are hard to come by. I know it’s sold in packages of threes- and people buy the poison because this or that holy man sniffs it- but be careful- just because I’m
not decrepit old and have no beard doesn’t mean I haven’t been there where old wise men live. That’s what I’m saying- this cave. I find them there with me, and I will not be apart from the jewel in my heart. And though he rejected my joining his clan/ it’s because he said I’m a kite that he’s holding- and this world needs crazy woman like me who will stomp on it all to put it out of it’s misery. Die already ok- and stop holding onto your cough. You ate the poison and you became it’s osmosis. I can’t decide what color you’ll turn next. It’s out of my hands, I can only keep saying, “End it. End the pain that leads to numb.” I can only be the being I hear in those words. “Wake up fearlessly on the other side of blue.” It’s no legend…Blue Pearl. Sharada Devi


13 thoughts on “Blue Pearl”

  1. It’s just the space between the notes, paying blood coin for high thoughts. What is it here that is not enough? It is HER blood that flows like a river from her lower mouth where she sings the song of flip flop. It’s raining now and the gods are happy when you see HER in everything. Her voice is talking to you now down between her thighs. Can you hear her outside in the dark as the thunder roars on howling wind light. The joke of death, KALI’S last laugh. Who are you NOW? The white bird flew into the wall and died. I put him out on the Kali Yantra, it was his last flight. We played together a spirit song of long gone, only here for a moment. Then he flew again into the dark lake of death. “It’s not dark yet, but its getting there.” The blue pearl is down there.

    1. Deal with your perversion/ stay off the porn. Forget I existed. You are demented.
      Get that gross blonde woman’s pics off the fucking email. I’ll write a book and tell all. Leave me alone. I’m going to take the dog back. Wtf is wrong with you. Is life that hard to face? After 12 years you heard nothing…and I can’t face that about myself ATM- so stay Away. Thanks

  2. Everywhere I turn heart shattering news. I don’t know where I belong anymore. I love someone more than they could ever possibly love themselves so how could they ever love me and yet here I am. I’m so proud of you sharada – you’ve always been a fierce trailblazer of truth. You inspire me. Thank you.

    1. Dear Paul,
      Thank you this is helpful your love and endless support. I hope all is well with you- even though we both know things can only go so well given the conditions. Why don’t you come to mount shasta? Too far?
      Are you staying in Maine forever? It’s kind of a cold place…lots of reasons.

      1. Beloved Sharada Devi,
        Maine is frigid fur sure..
        I would love to come to the great mountain, unfortunately I cannot. Hopefully the next soul tuning I will be in attendance. I’m all booked up to create at a magical little festival that weekend.
        Will you host another retreat in the states before the winter?
        I know you could help me so much and I promise I would help you with whatever you need (music cooking fire cleaning sacrificial body)
        God knows how much I miss the golden coast!
        Your inquiry sent me into deep meditation for many hours. You deserve the purest and most sincere energy and care.
        My endless loving heart
        Forever lost in you

        1. It’s now or it’s never.
          So if you think a “magical little festival”
          is enough – considering the lop sides circumstances of your life- who am I to disagree. The wormhole drives me insane. I need to pace myself these days…

          1. Sacrifice my artistic integrity when people are counting on me for my own healing seems selfish, as broken as I am the show must go on and I know you understand that.

            Those are my initial thoughts..

            I’m trying to let go of the ego and see the big picture and it’s still blurry but either way it looks like I’ll be in the forest one with motherlight in the eternal now of you and me no matter where we end up we’ve always been.

            Second thoughts..

            I want to so bad. I’m gonna see what I can change. Sacred beautiful beloved endless conspirator of love I thank you and honor you for helping me and reaching out it’s bringing me to tears when I stop and dwell in so much care you’ve sent my way. I’m so grateful for you and so apologetic of my unwillingness.

            More thinking…

            Final thought: I think too much. I will do what I can to make it to you goddess Sharada Devi. Thank you.

          2. I want you to make it to YOU. Let’s not spiritual bypass with the “I’ll be with the motherlight in the eternal now.”

            I can’t take it anymore. One by one, everyone gets shot down. And it’s not like
            I don’t make it possible for anyone who wants to be there. And it’s NOT about me.
            It’s about everyone there- catalysts of transformation. PURE focused supportive intention- a festival cannot be compared-
            If it was easy, it wouldn’t matter…

            Your “artistic integrity” people “counting on you for healing,” seriously get over yourself and get the help you need. We are here for you. Stop hiding.

  3. True blue pearl coming from emptiness…the essence of everything. Everything you can see, hear, smell, taste and touch. SEE the illusion????? Open to magic….the blue pearl magic….blue pure consciousness…..pure potentiality where ALL things can be manifested. Being open to magic reminds of who we are… blue pure wisdom….the highest wisdom….where there are NO walls, NO obstacles, only FREEDOM. Give me emptiness over abundance ANY day!!!! Hurray! No wanting…
    Like when I chant….and breathe in….and exhale…breath out…that TINY space between the two…THAT is the emptiness, right? But it is EVERYTHING, right? OMG. Because it is between the two…where ALL possibility lies. SO…it is really abundant…right? I mean, like the LAST exhale is death….and an inhale is life…so…. with each breath in is ALL pure possibility! Get it? Possibility is pure potentiality. See? It’s the between-ness, that emptiness where real abundance exists…or something like that. So, if you think of negative and positive…out breath is negative and in breath is positive. Not that out breath is really negative, but in the terms of THIS life, THIS now existence…let’s just call it negative, even though I loathe duality. SO anyway…in breath is positive (life in the here and now)…so these two have been fighting (life and death). Most people want life and don’t want to die or lose people/things. Negative positive energies fighting within self…but THESE two TOGETHER are really the ESSENCE of both…right? That is the depth of it ALL. That is the BLUE PEARL you are talking about.
    Okay, so, the blue pearl is the HEART between the two…at least that is how I am seeing it….balancing the two energies of positive and negative…in order to raise awareness.
    And is it not true that Quan Yin, Divine Mother (bodhisattva of compassion) holds the blue pearl? She felt the sadness of the world and saw the pure nature in all of us….and did she not become the male form Avalokiteshvara and gifted the sutra from her heart? Om Mani Padme Hum!!!!!!!!!!!!! Trash the fear, doubt, judgment, anger, sadness and be calm during disastrous times. Become that lotus flower that rises from the murky dank mud. THAT is taking of the darkest moments…and transforming them into wonderful treasures…like the BLUE PEARL!!! So…AWAKEN that blue pearl, I say! Release those negative emotions!!!! Open your heart to the energy of ENLIGHTMENT!!!
    The blue pearl represents our godlike (Buddha) nature!!!!
    So, the in breath and out breath are the awareness points…or rather that moment between the two, right? Omg….the turning point is the blue pearl…the heart of it all…the middle of the see-saw! The shift. That is IT. And…that is everything, but no “thing” ONLY pure awareness.
    Sharada Devi, I read your blog post a couple of days ago…and was in the midst of shit with my dad….(the mud)(ha) and felt his sadness and loss (more mud), and then I felt such compassion for his situation (lotus flower) and sang to him (more lotus flower). He is old (93)(wow, I know …mud and lotus) and has lost so much (mud) but he is so close to the end (lotus?) (unless he ends up living another five or ten years, which is possible (mud, mud, mud and lotus). Anyway…I got to thinking about the color blue….and what that means…I have a thangka in my bedroom….and it is the Medicine Buddha which is BLUE (hello!!!?), and I recently saw a picture of Krishna who was also BLUE, I even think Rama is blue, and Vishnu, but am not sure. I love blue…I love the ocean which is blue, and the sky (also blue). I also think about the Chakra that is represented by the color blue…and that is the throat chakra. I know that the throat chakra symbolizes self expression, expression of truth, creative expression, communication, perfect form and patterns.
    “True blue”….that characterizes someone that is reliable, loyal, faithful, committed, steadfast, firm, unswerving, unwavering, staunch, card-carrying, confirmed, etc., etc., etc.
    Blue pearl is pure consciousness. Highest wisdom, reminding us of WHO we are….so we can SEE THROUGH the illusion…right???
    THIS is IT. Which means there is NO TIME TO WASTE. We must KEEP the lesson of impermanence really CLOSE. For REAL people. No joke. We will not be on this planet in this lifetime for long. OMG. SO what are we (YOU) (I) going to do??? For real?
    What REALLY matters??? I will Meditate on THIS for awhile….keeping MY eye on that BLUE PEARL.


    1. Wisdom from Mother Moon, blue moon Pearl.
      Tnsnk you over and over again!
      For your cool blue love light that
      Shines and shines and SHINES🦋🌙

  4. Dear Sharadadevi,
    I would like to pre-order a dozen copy’s of your upcoming book for Christmas presents. Thank You

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