because nothing moves me

I ascribe physicality to a much deeper occurrence. I attribute emotional language to being everything we need to know. And I allocate the mind to being practically worthless beyond the understanding of what I just said.
Everyone is on some trip with me like I said something or I did something to end us up here, on the page and as clueless as ever. It’s all my fault that my words broke the bank. You were obviously saving something and weren’t going to give it up to me. How can I describe bankruptcy to a bank that has no money. Value is as value does and while your eyes scrape the ground and your mouth sucks the juice- you are getting what you want so don’t blame it on the one who was going somewhere else…and everyone is talking their game or trying to be someone they are not- even if that someone is different than the one last month…trepidation, unfounded new beginnings, worthless striving to get to the top of my ladder.  It isn’t always about you and I know that’s hard to believe. From what I see and hear, I am absolutely misunderstood, misconstrued and mistaken which is so clear but makes no sense at all. What is so clear is how unclear this picture is becoming. Be yourself, that’s all I meant.

A creative outlet is better than masturbation and masturbation is better than murder….

And that’s how I talk and how I see. And it’s a ripple in transparency that shocks you into really seeing…and it’s a snag in the time warp that shakes you to fall…and it’s a rip in the veil that lets in the air…and so the reading of my words for now is just experienced as intriguing or perplexing without understanding of my movement at all- like what about results of our actions and what about a rebel without a cause? And there I go again, never walking a straight line, at least not with you…and to mimic or mime is worse than being a geek if that’s what you are. Speak your language and know the one speaking before you assume what’s beyond your scope of action…and it’s all too much clarity cut up in pieces and thrown onto your floor…

I know all about rejection on the cutting room floor.

Yet to be an outcast or a butcher is far more enlightened than being a team player who talks shit like a people pleasing coward- out of fear you stomp yourself out and then out of self loathing you passively and aggressively hurt even the most rich and beautiful beings- and I don’t mean appearance and money-like cash- which is another major problem, where you’re looking for what’s worthy…

we’ve got a lot going on here and my words are as rich as wine…but it takes the drinker to tell, to recognize the wealth inherent in quality intoxication as opposed to some cheaper version of a passable thrill- a more economical way to get your jollies off I guess but really where is the appreciation for elegance, stealth and sophisticated integration? Dionysus wouldn’t be happy with your choice, let’s just put it that way…learn how to get drunk properly so that even the gods can get off is what I mean….

I think sexuality is a lion with wings. You can take it from there…I think sensuality is a panther with heart. You can see where I’m going with this…and I think finding what you’re looking for takes a feline shaman who knows them all. There are lots of big cats out there…

jokes on you, little jumping monkey.

So you’re not my target or my dinner, my words are only mine and not personal but universal -and the hills and valleys cover all the land -and we all live in many places…and if you don’t live near hills or valleys you can still imagine the gesture intended… because wherever you are, it’s always a jungle out there…

Postulation. Emulation. Copulation. Fixation. Speculation. Castration. Propagation. Retardation. Validation. Nullification. Vindication. Strangulation. Suffocation…

whatever the order,

I am the One bringing the gifts.


Head in the bag. Wide open wound. Breath a little deeper, there’s nothing left but you…

and I’m still on my royal lion throne going nowhere….

because nothing moves me.

Sharada Devi

34 thoughts on “because nothing moves me”

  1. “I” am nothing and nobody
    just that which is being played out
    on the strings of a low keyed karmic cello
    or the high pitched range of an incomprehensible flute
    that only the tuned in or completely tuned out can ever fathom
    This letting go is immeasurable and keenly inclined
    to a likening of a razor-sharp silver blade etching precisely
    along the edges of exact refinement.
    The call from peripheral clinging ties keep begging and pleading
    for mending to complacency.
    Relentless is the pursuit for restoration to that commonality which is no more.
    There is no turning back once the threshold of release and absolve
    have been sanctified… reaching that inviolable point of no return.
    Lost my mind to what was and utterly ecstatic at the prospect of that
    The words still flow, from where i don’t know
    from God and Mother …where else?
    do i sound like i am full of myself
    it may appear so…
    but wasn’t the reason -for all this unfolding and unloading –
    to lose it all
    and in the process
    gain the jewel

    1. the aliens created us and so we must be just
      like their god too, at least a little bit…

      *just don’t don’t take the lizard’s path
      because apparently we’re a little bit
      of everything…

          1. there is too much that she is saying that is swimming
            around and relatable… which is kind of un-nerving
            and i don’t know what to do with it all…
            you say open mind… it seems.., real
            when she talks about the last bulb…
            that is to familiar. It’s the family Germanic custom
            last bulb on the tree is a pickle… phallic
            and a LOT of this takes me to my association with the red Queen
            way too much.
            i know , no coincidence.
            so how do I filter all this?
            There is something happening and stuff to understand
            and I want to be strong and am digging deep
            to Be
            sometimes it is easy and then it gets too real
            and i was trying not to think so much…
            now you got me started again
            Oh you…

          2. you should think about the right things-
            because we are just stupid prisoners here if we accept the rules and boundaries…and it’s all a lie, and this is a worse illusion than we originally bought…and it requires more personal responsibility and so we wish
            we didn’t know- because ignorance is no
            longer an excuse or a luxury…and I really do NOT think she could or IS LYING about any of it. I believe her and there is alot more
            where this came from…don’t be fooled.
            especially by accepting religion or a specific God as a way out…it’s going to take something more and something different – called a clear and open mind…tricky.
            -kaleidoscope of the visionary rainbow-

  2. “The only way to deal
    with an unfree world is to become so absolutely
    free that your very existence is an
    act of rebellion.”
    Albert Camus

    You are the One bearing gifts.

    1. Trinity of the 3 Rivers,
      I think you get what I’m saying.
      3 hearts don’t exist.
      Only One is laughing. Only One cries.
      And I just write about it…barely aware
      of the difference…tears are tears.

    1. Wayne,
      How many times can I say I love you?
      It’s never enough…devotion is a river
      that means “forever I am yours and nothing else is real but my love”
      devotion doesnt ever separate but clings and
      yearns and becomes as clear as diamond fire.

      It’s worth it, endless selfless love.
      Thank you❤️

          1. everything moves me,
            thinking of you today xo
            Warrior of the Heart~
            My love to you

  3. Yes, i hear you
    and have been thinking about right things
    All Ways
    ( and Being in love with every thing
    no matter how it deflects upon )
    but this speak…
    it resonates as all too true
    that is why it is so unsettling
    and the balance is like walking silently on a beam of light
    delicately, one foot in front of the other
    in the truth of each heart -beat
    i can’t un know that which is already known…
    only move forward
    no, i don’t think that she is lying
    that’s why i responded.
    even the names of times and places…
    This is kind of like the conversation we had a long time
    ago about Toping Canyon etc…
    the familiar and weird … is that right?
    i don’t know what words to use anymore…

    i’ have worked in the world of banking
    daily interaction with the federal reserve
    and have seen how it plays out…
    not talk’n about “me”
    just saying…
    experience and observances…

    and i hear what you are saying about specific God
    or a way out
    the way out is sticky and a daily endeavor
    love coming from all angles and angels and seeing clearly
    in each moment
    which way to turn or turn away
    today is another blessed day
    or a fraying away.

  4. i a sorry to be taking so much space here
    but what’s left of my my mind is just breaking
    and splintering even more in a fractal way
    i mean, i have always been privy to this stuff
    it is not new, from you
    such is a daily way
    in touch is renewal
    and a continual blessing
    when the mundane and ordain sets in and maintains
    a new day
    of setting free
    it begins again.
    Yesterday on Christmas day
    my Granddaughter
    sang –
    “Silent night Holy night…
    Tomorrow is a new day…”

  5. Hi there, John Kosswix here. Nice post. How are you doing recently? I’d love for you to write a post about what you think about psychedelics like LSD MDMA PSILOCYBIN. Psychedelic usage has NEVER been higher than TODAY, not even in the 60s.

    So what are your thoughts on the psychedelic revolution happening right under our noses? What are your thoughts on psychedelics in general? Have you tried them? Do you smoke weed? Thank you

  6. a tear from understanding in faith. Krishna Das said that when asked how Jesus meditated Neem got really still and had a single tear

    1. sounds like alien abduction to me…
      that would be my version of the voice of god
      or the hand reaching out from the craft of night…to take you in and up and make you a god too. Shiva Shiva Mahadeva. Om Mani Padme Hum…the same white sound and perfect erection every time.

      1. I just read your sunshine story.The way you described your feelings & how they were comunicated in the story gave a feeling of intimacy.John Denver at the end very nice & well thought out.
        AUM may the force be with you AUM

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