Please stop sending me personal emails.
You can all post on the blog when relevant.
Your personal problems are not my business. Stop being so self centered.
I offer Skype sessions and there is a fee.
There should be far more respect given to my time and efforts. It’s really awful this thing you all call love. It’s not love at all. It’s selfishness and mass delusion. Way beyond my imagination. I can find no inspiration in such a heap of narcissism and ego masturbation. You think you are so special that you can disrespect my boundaries so that you can take as much as possible? It’s not enough that I write the blog free of charge? I’m not looking for a career or friends or fans. You think we’re friends and you’re beyond posting on the blog? Instead you write me emails about yourself and your problems while I’m trying to heal from being in the hospital for nearly a month? Do you have any idea how much pain I’m in? Can’t you stop thinking about yourself ever? You ask me how can you help? You tell me you love me?
Really? And you believe that?
What have you done to show me any love or even common decency? Some of you are downright obnoxious. So arrogant and with such inflated ideas about yourselves. I don’t have the time, energy or desire to even begin to help you.
And I said it over and over. You stay where you are. You fantasize. You just do your thing ok?
So I write the blog and my expectations are very low as far as truly helping anyone. I’ve seen it all.
You don’t want to help me. It’s an absolute lie.
All of you – I get so many emails every day- and most of these people read the blog and then send personal emails- probably because they need to feel “special” to me- but you’re not. Honestly, to me you’re just another deluded ego maniac that will never listen. So I stop wasting time and I just “be nice” but it seems whatever I do is a waste of time. Bhagavan Das brought me flowers every day in the hospital. He was so disgusted and upset that you all email and send cyber flowers and letters saying “what can I do. I love you so much Sharada Devi” and he was so shocked that not one of you sent a card of any flowers to the hospital. I didn’t care because like I said, I don’t expect much. Sadly, he’s still hopeful one sincere person will come along one day. But they never do.
All I need to do is be honest once and you’ll be out the door, believe me- you don’t want to know what I think about you and your situation and what you’re not doing and what a deluded mess you are in.
You don’t have to read the blog. I don’t care. It’s not like I’m supporting myself with it- considering hundreds of people read if daily and maybe I’ll receive a couple donations per month – a grand total of $20 or so…
and that’s not enough- you want more. You want therapy. You want to be special. Well being selfish isn’t special, it’s typical and it’s boring.
I just cannot believe this losing battle. Such a sad state of affairs. So grim. And if I’m not new age enough for you and if you are disappointed I won’t go into your make believe world where you throw the word love around like its candy. Seriously, love- it’s just a horrible word with no meaning left at all.
Action is everything. Action involving sacrifice.
We give and give and give when it’s hard, not easy. So stop telling me you love me and asking what you can do because it’s a lonely place to be…watching all your lies collapse around me.
There are a lot of you. I don’t care if you like me.
I would be happy if I could find one real person in this world besides Bhagavan Das who had even a spark of something genuine living in their hearts. Maybe one day, but I’m not going to hold my breath.