when he wiped his hand across the sky and a light fell. it was mine, all of it. when every tree was from his seed and the branches bowed in his breath of wind, i knew the time had come. when my knees were broken and my eyes gone black, i heard a voice and i ignored her. the earth, when i bent to look for every piece, the cracks of stars and sunlight. the moon, she turned around in bed and just kept crying. i am little, i am disappearing. cold, when he shines like only he sees, anything. cold. i saw it all from my dark eyes, i felt how he was hollow. without her body beneath his feet, there is nowhere god, for you to go. but no one understood and the years went by. me, the ground holding everything broken. him, the crown of every thing that would ignore the serpent hiding. the trees still stood with their withered arms, the sky still empty of guidance, the wind, how it howled and it screamed, “you’re a liar!” back into itself, “everyone’s dead!” such a majesty cannot be destroyed or mistaken. rotten, just rotten. in my grave while i move, charred, scarred and devoid of words. there was so much to say to a deafened world, i wonder as i write in the shadow of a noon long past. she stood all those years holding it in, the air, the suffocating air. for him as he blew out his smoke from a fiery sun, just drawn like a prop in my body. i did see him as everything i needed and feared. i did give birth to both god and his haze. devil beneath me, a new moon has fallen. I kiss the forehead of a very angry child. he would be king, with his wild son approaching. i won’t go anywhere else but to where we have fallen. through the leaves as they die changing from golds into grays.
i am meaning. i have meaning. i was born and i died to mean something to you. do you hear me, high up and shining with lights cast at nothing. i shed all for the death of your reign. little girl, no it wasn’t me. this isn’t about me. he’s running and only i can stop him. i am crawling inside to where all of us live. high up on the stake, piercing the sky. thorns and red angels dripping. i think about praying but then can’t see why. not when he’s there, a puzzle of stars. and he left me, but i stayed. to fill the space of a god long dead. for you, the only one i ever saw look back at my full body. with a desire that even god couldn’t forget. sharada devi