this is how I want to be with you

This is how I want to be with you

If I have to be careful to write a poem. If I have to think twice, then I am nothing but a liar. If the gate is closed the animal is not free. My heart is wild, I must go. Into the places humans wouldn’t ordinarily think of. Underneath things, recklessly eating and breathing the earth. Digging deep holes all over in the forest of stars.

If I have to be careful to love you wisely. If I have to retract my eyes from yours, then I am nothing but a whore. If the line is drawn then the circle is not spotted. My body is losing, I must enter. Into the sockets of every spore you have fed me. Circulating, rising and falling, traversing your veins as if you were the valley of my shadow. Moving inside you everywhere as the darkness of my God.

You are everything. Why won’t you love me as I am. We are spilling blood from our tongues. I am on this paper, a poem that knows nothing but desperation. Words that can’t breathe until you love them without a second thought. Give yourself to me. I write from heavens bed, where you lay as a cloud beneath me. Love can’t be anything, it must be you. Write upon my body as if you have lost me forever in these words.

A poem must flow mindlessly as sex does. Between her legs hopelessly given in soul.

This is how I want to be with you, inside everything reaching as a child reaches for its mother. Sharada Devi