everything I have

IMG_4917

Sorry it’s been so long. I’ve been trying to write you. Waiting until I can say something uplifting that’s honest. The truth is, reality is harsh when the light strikes deep and we are still looking for a way to turn for comfort or resolution. I am in the inbetween in a way as never before. I have shaken my fate as I hear a knock on my door that isn’t even real. As I look in a mirror at a face that isn’t even mine. As I write words that will be forgotten or misunderstood. Even if you try and I understand, I am still just a dying breeze. Even if you understand I am trying, I am still just a fading sound in the distance. The sounds that keep me awake all night. The breeze that chills my bones. These things are me, me not knowing where to turn. In samsara there are millions of hands. All we do, something else, something new. All we drop, someone old, something passing. I am here in this and there is no escape from the eventual seeing, that this pain is unavoidable. That we have nothing else to do but awaken the awareness of this intense suffering. Why do we strive as we do for an answer. Why do I maneuver for relief even when I know there is none. Samsara is a grip that will not let go until we do. Samsara is a place that turns on itself with no friend at all. There is no escape from this tight spot of anguish. The numb of denial cannot last. And so everything is taken. Surrendered. Let go of and still I search for why or how to save us from ourself, myself. The exhaustion, the grief also has a name. That name is religion. I really did lose in this life. Over and over just one failed attempt after another. Can’t you see you’re ineffective as long as you’re in the maze still playing with doors and keys, do’s and don’t’s, inspirations and occupations. Searching for eyes deeper than yours. I cannot struggle over a wall that is insurmountable, playing by these rules. Somewhere out there…India is waiting…he will love you…people will care…there will be an answer that brings relief…the dog will stop scratching…you will make a difference…the loss will bring hope…somewhere out there…the world will sing louder…money will
solve what’s missing…tears will build new tomorrows…you won’t be afraid or weary anymore. One day you will get it right, give enough away. Say the words they’ll understand. Your life will make sense, you’ll find the ambition to care enough…to try harder. You will stop the suffering long enough to know you did something right. Right. And I dropped it all. And I left for God. Out there, way out there. 20 hours in a plane. Days in a fume filled car. Lung infection, food poisoning. Dead dark Indian eyes. Costume jewelry. Religious trinkets. Horrible, horrible light. The truth kills me until I stop breathing. I stepped in the silver blue Ganges river and my heart began aching. No joy. Only the meeting of more loss. “Soon I will be underground. I will never leave you even though you will not see me. I am the throb that makes you do the insane, the anguish that pushes you down. The flight of the arrow is because of my desperate love, the ceaseless flowing through the dark of samsaric stagnation. And the dead bodies fall into me and rise knowing we never met. And still I move…I am the river of pain filled, relentless light. I am also inside of samsara. I am also the bringer of grief.” Who wants to know? This isn’t my body. I have no home. There is no wise guru waiting. The temples are restaurants. I cannot do anything that clicks without dying to the cause. Who wants to know that truly, there is only me in this tight, hot corner. I can give up everything and it’s still not enough if I really want the truth. Nowhere. Nothing. Never ever. I went all the way to Mother India to be told, “Go back.” My heart is finally irreparably broken. I could tell you why forever and it wouldn’t matter. I keep trying to leave what can’t be left. Only seen vividly and embraced in the deepest most confusing place. Myself.

IMG_5019

I am invisible. I hide behind a blinded curtain. I hide without trying. I wind and I wrap, unravel. Uncover, undress. Always hidden. Deep, where you wouldn’t want to go. And there I wait, under glassy water. Motionless. Spotless. Not expecting to be heard in such a place. Not hoping to be seen. Nothing. I churn you from nothing. Want me. You can’t find me. Want me more. Deeper yet never touching. Invisible. Although she moves. Feelings like water. Nothing stirred. Too low to find the source of heat. Invisible. Hold my hand. Eye drain. Circle me more. Glass. Nothing breaks her. Waves pull. Origin, beginning without end…the grief. The emptiness after the touch. No full heart, only leaking. The grief that nothing is pure. That pornographic images exist as replacements for me. More perfect, more touch worthy. The old man is walking towards me and I remember him. Myself inside the images I tried to destroy. It all hurts, this body that nobody loves. Is it in a place called India. The voiding of these, my dead fingers. Is there a land in his eyes that never knew countless girls? No, it is the end. The end of what killed me. Acute, unreachable longing for a divine beyond what I could muster. Captured in sexy swimsuit fantasies and long, shiny blond hair. Not cut and wasted, not at all hurt by pain. Seeping in through every crack and wrinkle, the sting of untouched beauty…the story. I wanted to say, there is a bigger word. A larger picture, the eyes say a million words. Words I can’t say, only touch in the space of what words can’t argue. The look of it all. And I see the tipping ocean, and I hear waves of light. And I feel sound bodies crashing. In my story. I can’t ever tell you how lonely I’ve been. I haven’t felt a word that didn’t hurt. Not a sound that didn’t ache, my eyes have been closed. Remembering silence. The roots of silence. Where I look, into noise and face the blank page. All this reaching. All this hoping. I owe you, I know. I could give you a brighter version of me if I had words to give, it’s the chapter where it all gets erased in false hope and other people’s guidelines. It’s the chapter where I lose the last letter, like the last dollar. I know this is the wall I’ve been charming. I know it’s the breech. I have received the call in the silence. I have heard the words without sound. I accept. I surrender. I turn around and I go back. It’s this corner. This hot, lonely tight corner. I write you from here. Looking for nothing at last. I surrender by choice not by force. I am the fortress. The path of the last one. There is nobody left. I saw that in their eyes. I brought Tara. I brought words carved in gold. I brought a diagram of samsara, at least a hundred years old and torn. Faded but still held. In his perfect hooves. By his three turning eyes. These are the walls. Everything changes. Even gods turn to morning’s dust. Another me. “There will never be another me.” Thank God. We already know that inside. Forget the commercial temple. The Mother Light fortress rises from inevitable death. Protect us from the lie that buries us deeper in her sorrow. Remember us inside your forgotten walls. Remind us of the noise that takes, and shakes and flattens. Rise. Rise within these walls and see. Above and below. Back and forth. Flip me into another time. Out of time. Blackened by seconds. White out. We already know there are no rules set in stone but ourselves as the rock. We already know no key fits the hole but the whole body. Fortress with no tongue. Escape my empty mouth. Get out. Slip into the release hole. Wet slide gap….I was looking for answers (Death is God’s name.) The white lotus. The clear crystal gaze. The shattered dream. Your face in my eyes. Arms that collapse under the pressure of madness. Tear back the veil, all is behind me. Underneath me, new beginnings come from the tears that drop. I stood in the doorway. I just keep looking down and you’re never there. I touch the lips of the dark, “Be silent.” I close my eyes and look within. Deeper. Falling. Lying still. These stairs, downward. You’re never there. I had skin that covered me, I read about dying. I tried all the concoctions, said all words you wanted to hear. I bled all the red left inside of the dreamer. I came to the door and I waited. I am gone. Everyone’s gone. You are the one. Down there. Never talking. But I hear. Breath dropping. The moon inside me growing large. The moon outside me disappearing. The voices fade. And God remains. Whoever you call to the bottom, I’m waiting. At the front, I am the end. Through me. I go through me. The doorway. Who are you hiding. Behind. Underneath. My love lies waiting, softly tearing skin from bone, crying eyes filled with me. My love lies hiding, whispering, listening. Defying the end of us both. I stood looking over her. There was nothing left but me, remembering how it hurt pushing through -and how she screamed God’s name loudly inside- and how I died watching her go. She died, arms filled with sky…and that, my love, is the doorway. We all pass. It is simply me. Open from below. Death is God’s name (love is the answer) I will always be here for you, I will be your home. I vow that as long as I am in this body, I will make India live in me. I will make her flourish, her rivers flow, her waters sparkle. Her temple is here. Bhagavan Das sent me this email one day. I was very sick just laying in the Indian hotel grief stricken. He said,  “Pray really hard with all your heart to Mother India, she is there somewhere, the valley spirit never dies, she is the eternal Mother of the earth and sky. Endlessly creating. Endlessly pulsating. The spirit of the Valley never dies. She is called the Hidden Creator. Although She becomes the whole universe Her immaculate purity is never lost. Although She assumes countless forms. Her true identity remains intact. Whatever we see or don’t see. Whatever exists or doesn’t exist. Is nothing but the creation of the Supreme Power. She is limitless, unborn, eternal. Her essence can only be reached by the Hidden Creator. She is the very face of the Absolute. The gate to the source of all things eternal. Listen to Her voice Hear it echo through creation. Without fail. She reveals her presence. Without fail. She brings us to our own perfection…OM TARE TU TARE TURE SWAHA. You get to hold crystal Tara in your lap all the way Home. Deep mountain lake heart love.” Bodhibaba

IMG_5022

So I prayed and I prayed, “Please live in me. Please don’t disappear so deeply that there won’t be a way, let me take you in me, with me. Possess me with your soul roots. I have nothing for them but your fruit.” And then in my mind I heard the voice of an old wise Indian man say to me, “What is temple? You are temple. Go to the holy place. It is not India. It is you. India saint. India makes you sick go home. (I said) I don’t have a home. (he said) You are home. (I said) I don’t have anything. (he said) You have you. All you need. Take home. Be well. Catch the sky. Your eyes are lit. Stars pass through. The temple is God. You find it. You will leave the place that nobody leaves because there is no way out but through. It’s only you. Great Saint. Holy land. Feet of Gold. Nowhere. Nothing. Count down. Move. Be gone.”

IMG_4916

So it was clear that I had to return. I tried everything to make it work. I couldn’t eat, drink or breath. I am sorry. India made me very sick from the first day onward. There is nothing left worth going for. Samsara is too far reaching. We must break through this knot together. We must dig within deeper than we ever thought we could go. I cannot ask you to go to a place filthier and more toxic than anywhere I have ever been. I must do this myself. Create the Mother Light. With everything I have I will enliven her and I have only this promise left to you. Her light will prevail in ways we did not imagine. Religion is permanently broken. There is only us and the earth that we stand upon. I could barely find the words to say something too big to yet know…to say the least I have been overwhelmed and shaken to the core of truth. We are in the dark time. Darker than imagined. We are her vessel. India is not a destination. She is the essence of feminine invincibility. Nothing will stop the shine that is rising. Be with me. Help me. I need you. I cannot do this alone. Your love, support, prayers, and faith is all I have. I take your love very deeply to heart. Here we will create the Mother Light as a refuge. Together as one devoted flame. In the darkness this righteous fire will be her face. In the loss this clear seeing will be her true love. The earth knows us here and we will grow in compassion as never before. Beyond religion and boundaries no longer needed. In this fortress we call Home, God shall rise within this frail human body as the Mother Light of invincible, immaculate love. I can only promise you my broken heart forever. I can only give you myself with everything I have.  Sharada Devi

IMG_4912

34 thoughts on “everything I have”

  1. Tara, compassion, get back up,
    Blinding light passing, closing walls, weightless.

    Knight, gentle ,
    Breeze keep blowing, so I can feel through the armor,
    For nothing but your song..

    To stand on,

    There is resolution beyond the pain of samsara. The pain of samsara within your shining unresolvable wound, flowing…. only to stand together, to give a ground for surrender. Total surrender- that is the echo, the song I am desperate to return.

    In reality, it is difficult, to the end. We are free bodies of light when the earth is ash.
    9,1,0

    MOTHERLIGHT
    I love you, it’s funny… I will endure like the sun and surrender to this dawn of you.

    In the fortress of inevitable loss, accepted, the laugh breaks through, to a freedom of giving, because you have given. ❤️ But there is no resolution, accept you, the pain, the soft face of light that I stare into, the me that isn’t. Does it matter when I find it funny? Or that the depth of loss is more… the pain unending.. where to turn. Only self, after the giving, the freedom that is present.

    “I can’t take your power away.” -Sharada Devi.

    Gone and present, light surrendered, open, in. Inevitable. “What do you do all day?… right, ok.”

    1. sensitive, meat eating, body shrinking,
      toe tapping, laughing monkey.
      winding down to night night. it’s funny
      you’re covered in beet juice and I’m
      calling it blood while you think monkeys
      are pissing from the sky…funny afternoon
      of dog fights and oily bananas with kittens
      and cream. Mildew and you do laugh at monotony like funny isn’t funny until
      there’s a reason. so that’s why I say what I say because all words end up sucking or
      hitting back or receding back to the point on the wall…you know- that place you always watch when you’re not staring at me
      as I complain or make jokes at your expense.
      Haha! just kidding ☀️♥️☀️

  2. Welcome to Samsara, you know the place where Sam and Sara are always fighting. over nothing really, just dogs barking in the wind night after night. Where are we going? To the graveyard that’s for sure, you can bet all your money on that. We all know there is nothing to do and nowhere to go. We are spinning on the wheel of life and death, some call it the wheel of fortune. Breath to Death you are only here till NOW. I went on line last night to see if She had put up this post yet. When the words on the screen came into form from cyberspace they said,
    “Bhagavan Das is Mother Light.” and then the words became, “Sharada Devi Mother Light Blog.” You see, She is always speaking to us, us the most fleeting of all, like falling leaves in the breeze. But do we hear Her, or are we too busy being busy. “I once knew a woman that looked like you, she wanted a whole man not just a half, she used to call me sweet daddy when I was only a child, you kind of remind me of her when you laugh.” Oh Samsara how we miss you, to find a little comfort in the corner of the dark bar. The smell of beer and stale smoke and a rank stranger looking into our eyes. Welcome home to Mother Death, dark wings of black hungry vultures circle above the Tibetan sky waitinf for the call of the sacred butcher who chops up the bodies and crushes the bones and finally yells Om Ah Hum Vajra Guru Padma Siddhi Hum. COME AND GET IT. The sound of wings and hundred of vultures come to feed on you one more time.
    Kali is the Hungry Mother, she eats TIME. All reality is Empty, there is no start and end, no border at all. We are the mandala where the hungry ghosts can feed on all the unfinished desires of the ancestors. My father Guru Neem Karolie Baba alway said
    “What to do?” His main mantra for everyone was “Jao!” it means, “Go away!” Go, just go away from me, all you want is more Samsara, you took the wrong pill. I sat with Sharada Devi this morning drinking coffee looking at the thanka of samsara hanging on the wall behind her, like a faded old ragged lady looking through the trash cans in New York City for something to eat. Her matted hair was all matted in one big blob on her back. I went over to give her some money and she threw it back at me, and walked away. The bag lady is the creator. Her name is Shree Maa, she held my old worn out mothers hand before she died. This body of flesh and blood is only on loan to you for a very short time. Do you get it? India is eternal, she is the triangle green leaf that fell on my head this morning when I looked up at the tree and cried, “Tara help me!” You see I never left India, I was born in India in the lap of Mother Light my Granny. The cobra serpent was my first Guru, then I found the old buddhist monk who lived at the well. he never moved and he sat so still in the empty temple in front of the big golden Buddha. Then I fell into the ice cold river ganga Ma
    and she sang to me of the sea where she was going- and said follow me and you see the sound of Brahma. She sings me free to the sea of the Mother Light. Once when I was going out to get my morning tea in India, an old man came up to me and said out of the blue, “Go back to Amerika, the pacific ocean is your Guru.”
    It’s only love and love alone.
    Her lotus feet are always dancing on my head.
    Bodhi Bhagavan Das

    1. insane. always crazy and wise!
      five pointed star seeeing words
      as the doorway to the big wall-less room
      of the rapturous LORD.

  3. and with her lower right hand
    facing the leg
    she gives the boon of fearlessness
    for love is letting go of fear,
    she takes away the fear.

  4. There is nothing that You have ever asked of any of us that You would not willingly do yourself.
    Nothing that You would not sacrifice or let go of or leave behind.
    And because You asked if I would come to India, I have put much thought into letting go of my fears of the mind and body aiming towards overcoming deeply rooted trepidation about traveling to India and becoming overcome with illness.
    You, with buoyant optimism, gave everything up for God, because we would not do it for ourselves.
    In search of sacred amrita, You made the holy venture to Mother India.
    Taking on the likeness of Shiva, offered up yourself as the blue throated one. Consuming the poison on our behalf. Assuming the suffering that I will admit to being apprehensive of.
    I am grateful for your strength and courage.
    If your heart is broken, it seems that God was making space for more light to shine through You.

    1. This is so sweet and poetic.
      Thank you for your love!
      ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️🌈🦋

  5. You are welcome here, if you need a place to stay. Wishing you to be happy and well. May we all be happy and have the causes of happiness. Om mane padme hum. Thank you for your work and the help you have given us.

    1. Thank you my sage burning friends of light!
      Hope you come back to mount Shasta in June!
      ♥️♥️♥️ FOREVER THE LOTUS
      UMA AND MAHADEV
      I see that and I hear your love…♥️
      Shining ☀️

  6. Reading this my heart is aching. Thank god you are ok….I’ve thought of you everyday, and I’ve prayed hard for you. I prayed for you to find your peace, as I was praying the same same for myself too. Guatemala did to me, in a way , what India has done to you. I came home to land in the hospital twice from being so sick there. So I prayed for us, lying sick in my bed, buried under sheets in the darkness , until it became a mantra so I could sleep. Honestly, I was scared for you. Were you lonely? Who would take care of you? What you did took courage, what you learned took courage, and what you have just said took even more. So proud of You. You took a death leap to trust in the unknown. I am at your feet, because you are and were brave and fearless, but I will wear you as a crown on my head for what you endured. You took the hardest road of all. The nectar was tarry and black, but still you took it. For us. I love you. ❤️
    🌺Om Mani Padme Hum
    And a Big hug 💗 Kamala Devi

    1. Dear butterfly Devi,
      Yes of course I am fine. Guatemala is extremely pristine high quality functioning compared to the toxicity and degeneration of India. Peace is born from equanimity. You know that. Anything to face the truth no matter what that truth, how momentarily debilitating or paralyzing that fear is the path to peace. We must search with the light that goes deepest. I was saddest for others who never will experience India in this life as she was- because as India is now- is undoable if you need to eat or breath. And the internet too has destroyed the subtlety of her sound. I was filled with grief and yet realize that Samsara includes India as well…I hope you come to mount Shasta in June. Love, Sharada Devi

  7. I am very wrapped up in death right now. I seem to be the only one “handling” things with my mom’s passing. I did not have time to read this blog post deeply, so I will return to it later for true penetration. I hope you and Bhagavandas will be in mount Shasta again. I love you both so much and miss you. I wiil be able to read your heartful words later….in the meantime, know how much you add to our lives.

  8. Dear Sharada Devi,

    I’m sorry to hear that destiny had other plans for you. India is a strange place. I remember loving it and really hating it. I was there 8 years ago and I can imagine that it has gotten more chaotic. Of course I always want to go back but the mind will forever hide the bad times and trick you into thinking everything is alright. Isn’t that the nature of samsara? We are eternally born into this predicament, but by the time we are adults we forget about the pains of childhood and by the time we are elderly we forget about the other hardships. I think the reason why there are and were so many saints there is because of this extreme duality there. The people there undergo alot of suffering and there are lot of fakes and frauds. The beggars, the harassment. I don’t know if I could handle it again. My girlfriend almost died of cholera. I would wake up every morning with shit in my underwear….Glad you made it back alive and I hope you got to experience it before Kali upped the anti.

    Jai Maaa

    1. Your journey to India allowed for powerful, piercing, raw, brutal honesty gleaming with divinity..& I am soooooooo utterly grateful🙏🏼

      “The truth is, reality is harsh when the light strikes deep and we are still looking for a way to turn for comfort or resolution.”
      I can resonate deeply with this . Of late, the light is striking deep into a pit of despair I never realized was there so stubbornly anchored in my torso. Been turning to the outside somewhat frantically for aid to no real lasting avail. More despair. So I am sitting , breathing into ache, hearing sound current in right ear & acknowledging & praying to understand & let go..& remember I am not this body or this mind ..so who the hell am I? Sink in to the journey of awaiting an answer & surrender to not knowing if I’m not meant to at this time. Just be there for this ache is enough now. I accept this life. Breathe.
      I love all you that you are dear Sharada Devi .. your fierce grace is a sacred miracle🙏🏼💗🌈💕💕💕
      OM mani PADME hum
      Padme Devi
      🦋

      1. Padme Devi!!! Yes! Sink into the journey …..SURRENDER to not knowing!! Om Mani Padme Hum….it’s all we have. We are NOT stuck. We just think we are…in this body….but we have the LIGHT….we ALWAYS have the LIGHT. Return to the light!

        OM MANI PADME HUM.

        Come over soon……..my nest awaits your return.

        June…we will ALL be in PHYSICAL presence again……I am counting the days……FAST TO SHASTA! Love to you SharadaDevi! And Bhagavandas!

        1. Keep the flame burning Chandra Ma!
          The fire bright, the love alight!
          All we have is surrender’s night.
          With no fear, may love persevere.
          Heart that’s held is in God’s hands.

          1. The flame is eternal, infinite, constant….
            It is within. …so pure…so true….so dear,
            No fear resides HERE.

            REMEMBER to REMEMBER…..

            WE are the hands of God….and we ARE the heart….

            All that I am…

            I give…at the altar of love…

      2. Padme Devi,
        I don’t know if you meant to reply to Ian or my post? I hope you come to mount Shasta! You’re an angel and I hope all is well!!!
        Flower goddess.

        1. dearest Sharada Devi,
          Yes I meant to reply to you! must of hit the wrong button..I am most certainly planning to come to Mount Shasta..where my soul can fly and my heart can be heard & embraced on its journey home & the energy can rise…
          from the dictionary —-an ANGEL is a spiritual being believed to act as an attendant, agent, or messenger of God, conventionally represented in human form with wings and a long robe.
          hehe I’ve always had this weird feeling like I might be a secret agent for God (Mission Impossible music playing in the background right now..)….hmmmm
          LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
          Padme Devi

    2. Dear Ian,
      Your a smart friend and I love you always.
      Plus your cute dog in the picture!
      I hope you come to mount Shasta it’s so close to Arcata!
      Thanks for your understanding wisdom and
      everlasting support ☀️

  9. There is no destination
    and all paths wash away.
    WE are the feminine “rise and shine.”
    I am with you.
    I will help you.
    I need you.
    WE will not do this alone.
    Yes, we together are as one devoted flame.
    (WE are the matriarch elephants, ALWAYS remembering to remember what is important).
    You being back HERE with US….together….is what is important.
    (I think OUR love pulled you back…)
    Devotedly yours,
    ChandraMaMaMaManiPadmeHum

  10. “Too Pure”

    The flower
    Can’t be seen
    Dark and alone

    Bright and wilting in the cold
    Don’t forget
    No one stays

    Numb, it’s just pain
    Acceptance is the death
    Of a corpse

    One to another
    Ashes ashes
    We all fell down

    The heart song that can’t be heard.
    Motherlight, white flower

    1. goddess flower
      god alone
      can’t be touched
      but felt through
      the pain of another
      going away, alone
      she becomes
      the light she misses
      god who never leaves
      white and cold
      warm and dark
      flowers everywhere
      every morning
      you thought you died
      dream corpse
      I said I’d always love you
      more than a flower
      more than a body
      more than death
      who can’t be known
      but felt by dying
      into the pain
      of that relentless love
      calling from both ways
      I know you hear me
      and I give the loss
      to you…
      alone as the god
      because I never leave
      but cry forever for you
      the mystical silver eyed flame
      still alive in the fire
      that won’t ever become ash
      without me…goddess flower
      white like god who dies.

  11. I would love to see you in Shasta 🙂 Do you have discounted rates if you want to sleep some where else?
    The cute dog is a street dog from the ghats of Pushkar, India lol
    Hope your health is improving
    Love always,

    Ian

    1. Also,
      I hope you realize that the add to cart links in the “Shop” section of Baba’s site do not work. I tried getting an MP3 and had trouble!

    2. Well possibly we could- but we also provide food and it’s ideal to be in a contained environment for the duration of the retreat.
      If you need to work out a payment arrangement that’s possible too…if you want to stay somewhere else though and that’s the only way- or if you want to work out some payment arrangement- email me directly and we can work it out. sharadadevi@bhagavandas.com

  12. I was so happy yesterday on my way to my lover all alone.
    Today I sat on the bank of a river and felt the ground beneath me shake.
    “Like a child running through a house” I told him but he didn’t understand.
    So I told him his urgency and impatience makes me feel balanced with my slow unsteady walk.
    If the Hindus are right….
    Let me come back as something other than human
    Compassion takes too much
    Humility is wasted
    Talk is overrated
    It’s ok.
    I’ll take the dark or the light with equal measures of unenthusiasm

    1. I’m just thankful you didn’t say “be Here now” or I might not have taken you seriously. I see there is no Here to be…
      maybe just nothing to be…the human dilemma
      predicament and cure. And we get none.
      So I think being on the road all alone on the way to your lover is profound with poetic meaning. I care for nothing in this world but rivers. Raging of course. Someone just asked me today. “What do you want in this world?” And I couldn’t think of anything at first and then the ground beneath me shook (coincidentally) reminding me. “A river. I want a river.” It’s a true story. It’s all true, you too my friend who knows…the dusk or the dawn…or who cares…we’re together

  13. Where else could this be? Such deep reality, such twists and turns of energy–beauty in the language, in the images, in the hearts a poem by many, begun by Sharada Devi. It took miles of torment and loneliness and toxicity. Only you could turn it into this. Only you could move us forward, align our energies to this. Who knows what else might follow.

    1. This is so beautiful it makes me love myself…from afar, like a spectator.
      Because of how you see…turns me into me.
      Divine Sita Devi, the pure white mystical moon, nectar of the heart. My love to you
      ♥️ words are not enough to say how much I appreciate you♥️😻♥️ meow

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *